ich suche dich — ich sehne mich

[watashinonamaewa]

CHARACTERS: Murphy (yardbird) & Cibo (watashinonamaewa)
LOCATION: Level 9 Shower Room awww yeaaauh
WARNINGS: Naked Cibo. Awkward Murpy.
SUMMARY: Cibo had a bad dweam and wanted to take a shower. :c
NOTES: Interjects this.


The nightmares only worsened as time progressed.

Audio-visual experiences that Cibo had never felt before. Each time, she woke up crying from the terror — with her shoulder in excruciating pain. Her heart ached while her mind would race to separate herself from the dream and into reality again. Once she established that connection, her thoughts would fall upon The City. The Net Terminal Gene. Killy.

The Tranquility had done something strange to Cibo's body. It somehow connected her memory of human emotions directly into her body; Something she would normally be able to separate herself. That seemed impossible to do now. Memories of The City would remind her of the fear she never felt. The pain that never happened. Affection she never realized.

Her nightmares started the same. A corridor that Killy and Cibo once walked together. Killy would always be slightly head, walking faster than Cibo's legs would allow. Her legs were weak and the more she tried pushing forward, the more some invisible force would push back. Her hand reached out and her silent voice would call for him, though he would never hear her. Killy would always turn the same corner. Then the walls of the corridor would collapse and crush Cibo into the next portion of the dream.

The thirty days.

The same thirty days Cibo spent in the elevator with Killy. That ride had just ended when it seemed they stepped into the next corridor. Approached by Silicon Life. They attacked. Next, her vision turned black as she watched her body fall across the hallway. Or was it her head that was falling? Or both? Maeve pounded Killy into a wall just near by. An orb ejected from the ground. Sparked sporadically.

Darkness. Then the screaming.

Fingers fumbled with her device when she broke from the sobbing. Curled in her bed — curled in pain and fear. Eventually, she found her way to the showers of her level. Apply heat to the wound. ...Or was that pressure? She wrapped the device in Scout's grey jacket to protect it from the humidity; Black panties sprawled across the wad of jacket. Soon the hot water ran down her skin and soothed the pain of her shoulder.

In fear of the cold seeping through to her stall, she reached to turn the stalls beside her on. The steam created a barrier of warmth, coaxing her to crouch down under the water and absorb her own heat. The water lessened the physical pain — exposing the emotional pain hidden within.

Quietly, her face leaned into her hands. And the sobbing silently continued.

Comments

[yardbird]

Since time had passed, Murphy had lost concept of how long he had been on the Tranquility. With the exception of the Strela Outpost, he didn't get to see much beyond these walls. Most people weren't used to it. Murphy, on the other hand -- it made him sick to his stomach, just how familiar he was with spending months (if not years) without ever seeing the sun. His brief glimpse of freedom, days, only to wind up here was almost enough to render Murphy Pendleton into a mental case.

By some miracle, however, he wasn't. In fact, it seemed that he had a better head on his shoulders than some of the people here (as he tried so hard not to tread that line with thoughts of Annie all over again). There was only so much that could be conveyed over digital text on a screen. But there was something definitely wrong with Cibo. Out of all the others, she asked for him, whatever the reason might be. He just didn't know what yet. When he finally got the location right, Murphy felt his insides freeze.

Showers.

...Basically.

Hey, Murph, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

Murphy wasn't too eager to figure out what her message entailed. He couldn't ignore it completely, either. He practically had to drag his own feet the closer he got to the sound of running waters. The closer he got to the shower room doors, the more his vision began to cloud with all the mist that came seeping between the cracks.

When you guys are running the showers, the steam fogs up the cameras so bad we can't see anything that goes down in there.

He stopped at first, shaking his head, rattling the memory in his skull..

No, he couldn't lose it here. Someone needed him. Someone--

You get what I'm saying?

"Dammit." He balled his fist, clenching his teeth as he willed himself through the doors of the showers.

With the exception of the jumps, Murphy usually only ever came to these areas when no one else was. Dangerous, perhaps, but it was the only time he ever felt comfortable.

This was not good. Why would Cibo be here? Why couldn't she had just asked him to meet with her in her room, like the last time? It would have made things so much easier, and he wouldn't have had to deal with...

You don't recognize me, do you?

Memories of blood and running water dispelled. What he found was not a bumbling corpse, dead after several stabs, slashes, and beatings. Not like he remembered. It was Cibo, barely clothed, curled up beneath the hot, running showers.

"What the...?" Murphy stifled his words, approaching her carefully. If this didn't look dire, he probably would have left, given her current state of undress. But something told him that that wouldn't be a major issue on Cibo's worries at the moment. "Hey." He started to kneel close to her, reach a hand out for her shoulder.

[watashinonamaewa]

Through the steam, her pale skin glistened under the stream of water. Slightly pink in some areas from the heat. The scar that stretched the length of her back would be in full view while he approached. More than a million pin-pricks of pain resonated from it and into her body.

Cibo was fool for not being fast enough to catch up to Killy. To not realize the last bug lunging for her back. The emotion wouldn't register at the time it happened, but she was embarrassed for constantly slowing Killy down. She felt upset that she suddenly became useless. Then she wondered if Killy was upset with her, too. Was that the reason he walked from her in her dreams? Was she finally useless to him...

The sound of running water and her gentle crying into her palms muffled any hint of Murphy's approach. His simple hey didn't quite register either. All that echoed in her mind were the distorted voices of the Silicon Life from the nightmare. Maeve's cackling. Then —

She turned so abruptly from Muprhy's touch that she slipped, putting herself completely onto the wet tiled floor. Her eyes stared in horror, red and partially concealed with her wet hair, as she quickly tried to disconnect herself from the dream again. It wasn't long at all before Cibo moved to her feet in a swift motion and stepped closer to Murphy.

Holding into Scout before always gave her comfort. Otherwise, she would have never brought herself so close against Murphy in search of the same comfort. There was no real explanation as to why she thought this would have worked either. It was something about being so near a person Scout, particularly. that caused her to think only of the moment. The City and Killy would be sent to the back of her mind and, for a time, she would be content.

Even though she was slightly taller - and soaking wet - her hands gripped Murphy's black shirt and she hunched to place her forehead onto his shoulder. The water running drowned out the sound of her unsteady breathing. She stayed silent. Her body shook.

[yardbird]

When it came to this sort of thing, Murphy was about as awkward as they came. He wasn't about to leave at the first sign of discomfort, though. And when Cibo moved to throw her arms around him, it became quickly obvious that Murphy wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

He just held his hands out at the unexpected closeness, as if he didn't know what to do with them right away. As she held onto him, trembling as she did, he just froze there in a stunned silence before he shifted his hand to gently pat Cibo on the back. He really didn't know what else to do at the moment.

Then, for lack of anything better to say: "It's okay..." How true this was, he had no idea. Cibo didn't look or sound okay. She was crying, and this was how you deal with crying people. You comfort them.

He didn't have anything else to say. No words or promises of consolation until she was ready to talk to him. Sure, this was a bit... weird, considering where they were, and everything else. And the fact that she called him of all people. That last part, above everything, was well beyond his understanding.

[watashinonamaewa]

She crossed the steam's barrier of warmth when she moved to Murphy. Cold air biting at her skin as she continued to shiver against him, her body searching for warmth. The comfort sank in as he touched her back. What little his hand touched her bare skin, it relaxed her like she hoped.

Moments passed with her just nesting on his shoulder. Then, quietly, she moved back. Only a few inches at first and her hands still held on. Head down and faced away from him in embarrassment and uncertainty. Was it okay? Was she okay? She didn't feel okay...

Her fingers slowly released their death-grip hold of Murphy. She remained close to him.

"I made you wet."

[yardbird]

No, really, just--

Really, never mind the implications of what just came out of Cibo's mouth right then. Also never mind the fact that a naked woman (in the showers) had just been clinging to him. Chances were, Cibo herself didn't even understand any of it, anyway. Save for that she was hurting and, considering what she was doing, she probably only made it worse.

Murphy just shook his head. "It'll dry. Not like it's been the first time I've ever been waterlogged." Attempting to throw some humor in his tones there. Lighten the mood.

Then there was Murphy Pendleton. Lightening any mood at all. That was a joke in itself.

[watashinonamaewa]

Waterlogged? A long stare into Murphy's eyes in hopes of an answer. Her face scrunched with a small pout; Eyes reddened and watered up when she just couldn't understand. He hadn't been the simplest of her acquaintances to get, but he was easier to understand than most. Another silent moment followed while her eyes fell from him.

Confusion had become quite the frustrating emotion to deal with on top of everything else. Why couldn't she just understand these people? Everything was too foreign for her to grasp. She never misunderstood Killy mainly because he never had anything to say. Because they were both from The City and didn't need to say anything for the most part.

The tears streamed noticeably after the water had run off of her face. Hands trembled as she reached for her scarred shoulder; the other rest across her stomach and on her hip, covering just a few of the small plugs that were scattered around her body. There was a soft cringe in her eyes as her own hand burned like fire against the scar, yet soothed it in some other way.

[yardbird]

Shit, she was staring.

Murphy didn't take to that too well. He didn't last long before he just averted his eyes, avoiding both the look at that pout. This was already awkward enough for him, without having to be engaged in a failed staring contest with a woman in the showers (this seemed to happen more than once, now that he thought about it).

He also wasn't too good at picking up subtle hints, especially when he wasn't even looking at the person anymore. Hence why the plead in her eyes went completely over his head.

"Look, you should... probably get dressed. I'll help you to your room, if you'd like." He didn't know why she was here, but judging by how her skin felt (which oh God he was touching), she was burning up. He couldn't tell if he should get her to her bed or to the medbay...

[watashinonamaewa]

It was only at the mention of leaving that the sound of the showers rang back into Cibo's ears. No. I don't want to leave. But she instead turned to turn off the extra showers. She left her own on and stepped under the water once again.

Clear. Clean. Tasteless. With it running against her body, she barely remembered what grit on her skin felt like. What the texture of her skin was before the Tranquility. It was never this soft, or warm. Warm. Another luxury compared to the cold halls of the megastructures.

The remaining steam lingered until she shut off the water completely. As the heat faded, the cool air began to shock her body. She crouched down to pull her two articles of clothing apart — panties first, jacket second. She sat there and held the black underwear between her fingers, stretching the material to test its elasticity. A weak voice while she did so. It was almost like she mumbled to herself.

"There's nothing like this water in The City. And I've never felt it so warm when it wasn't above a flame."

Then moved to stand with them in order to slip up her long legs. She only held the jacket up to her chest; the mixture of cold against her back and keeping the warmth to her chest felt comfortable to her body. Now she stared down to the water dripping at her feet, gently squeezing her toes against the wet tile.

Her voice is softer than before, "I'd rather not go back there... Ever."

[yardbird]

When Cibo clearly wasn't moving to get dressed right away, Murphy was quick to turn his head, followed by putting his back to her entirely. Let no one accuse him of being a voyeur; not when he already made an effort not to be poking around whenever people were waking up after the jumps.

He argued with himself over whether he should leave or not, let Cibo be to her business. He didn't know how well she'd take to him leaving without saying a word, though, and his sentences were getting jumbled up in his head that he couldn't even think to speak for several moments.

That was when Cibo had taken the liberty to do so first. Murphy shifted his head a little, but still didn't turn to face her. To him, this wasn't what you'd call a casual conversation. He also didn't care much for being present in the showers, fully clothed, with someone who wasn't.

Murphy glanced towards the door, wondering what would've happened if someone had happened to walk in on this. God, he hoped not--

Right. She's also talking.

"Doesn't sound like a great place to be." There, fully strung-together things coming out of Murphy's mouth now. Well done, even if what he had to say was rather unnecessary. "If it were up to me, I wouldn't wanna go back, either."

[watashinonamaewa]

She slid her arms into the jacket in order to pull it over her head and onto her torso. The water still on her body absorbed quickly and her hair caused a great damp spot across the back. At least she was decent. Sort of. She moved beside Murphy and leaned to look to his face. He must have been embarrassed by her lack of clothing. It was the same thing she wore when they first met in the halls.

And his words comforted her. That was what she had hoped for when she asked him to come. That he would say things to make her feel more comfortable with her situation. Not everyone wants to go back, she realized. Staying in this place with Murphy and Scout seemed infinitely better than any single moment spent within the City.

"We can go to my room now..." Maybe Murphy would be more comfortable when she had on pants again. And there were pants in her room. Then they could just sit on her bed and watch one of those shows. Or talk about something. She didn't think too far ahead, really. She only felt that she wanted to spend a short time with him before she went to see Scout for the rest of the night.

[yardbird]

He glanced down at her briefly -- once, then twice when he saw that she at least had her top half covered properly.

But still... pants.

Murphy just breathed through his nose, tried pushing out the implications of both their situation as well as the inconvenient setting. Murphy didn't want to think about things like blood and water, or anything else that would have rendered him into a psychological mess at the moment. Cibo didn't need that, anyway.

Trying to keep eye contact for more than half a second, Murphy nodded at her.

"If that's what you want... sure."

[watashinonamaewa]

"Yes." Was her short reply. But it was accompanied with a smile - something that she learned was comforting or reassuring in certain situations. (And it was obvious that Murphy felt strange at that moment. Just like before.)

While she turned and made straight for her room, Cibo fell into an odd silence. Her wet feet made a small patting sound against the floor. If she would have closed her eyes to imagine it, the sound would remind her of Killy in some disassociated way. Then again, everything reminded her of Killy in that moment. He created a pain in her chest that she couldn't ignore; She didn't want to go back to the City, but she wanted to be with him.

Cibo came up to her door and it slid open to the recognition of her code. Before she even thought of sitting down, she took the ship's uniformed pants and slipped them on quickly. She figured Murphy would relax now. That they could now sit down because maybe just his presence would help to take her mind off of the City again.

[yardbird]

In Murphy's experience, smiles had all kinds of different meanings. Not just comfort, but trickery as well, belonging to back-stabbing motherfuckers who get a kick just to see you fall.

Cibo was not one of those people. Watching her shift from traumatized despair to this facade that led to awareness and solace left Murphy with something of an emotional whiplash. Not that he was going to say anything about it.

His jaw clamped as he walked, never looking at Cibo directly. This was not merely because of her pantslessness, but a habit altogether. Eye contact, social norms, women in general...

Sometimes, it just didn't seem like any of this was real. That maybe he was still locked up tight, key thrown down a trash chute. He would close his eyes and wake up and find that he was alone all along.

The sounds of Cibo's footfalls reminded him that he may still be asleep.

"You gonna be alright?" He didn't want to just drop her off in her room if she was going to have another episode like that.