[ Dave is all about the poetry. Even now, he is mentally patting himself on the back for the sweet sibilance up there, aww yeah. ]

If this is anything to go by—[ Dave flips out his comms device, scrolls to a couple of the latest on the feed. ]—and you're looking for a working elevator, none of 'em currently qualify. Either they're all conveniently crapping out at the same time, or the ship is gearing up for the latest round of Fright Fest: Extreme Clusterfuck in Space edition.