I figured you weren't. [ he practically murmurs because christ, when wichita had told him about the mess with sherlock, he had wondered. he had wondered if this might have been kate all over again and that someone, whoever killed sherlock ( if someone did ) would be on the receiving end because he remembers how the mess with fowler was and to think of that on this ship? well it's not something peter wants to dwell on. ( he will, later. )

he won't pretend that he doesn't know someone had to fill the void while he wasn't here, because he knows someone had to and— he wishes they had been more on his side of things, capable of reining neal in and telling him that he doesn't need to do this because it wouldn't help him feel any better or make anything go away. there's a moment when peter considers just saying what he's thinking about all of this before he reads the meaning between what neal is saying. in response, he just moves his hand to squeeze neal's shoulder for a second before letting it sit there. ]

You did what I would have told you to do. I would have told you to pull back and think about it. And I would have told you to tell me why you wanted to kill the person too. But you pulled back and thought about it.

[ again unspoken: thank you for reminding me why i think you're worth it and proving that i've actually gotten through to you. ( of course, the end result isn't what it should be, but it's the thought that counts, isn't it? ) ]

So I figured. [ he frowns, because this is proving to be worse and worse and it's— eating at his insides knowing this could have been prevented. ] How much? [ how bad? ]