I believe you. You tried, and that's— you tried. I couldn't have asked for much more.
[ there's a part of peter, deep down that thinks about how neal wanting to make him happy, wanting to live up to the expectations he set is the best thing. that's all peter has ever wanted neal to do, meet the expectations he knows he can and see that being on his side of things isn't half bad. ]
You only use ten percent of it, there's an idea about how we can't access the rest. [ and then there's a very long silence where peter just listens. he listens to neal tell him that, in effect, he isn't in control of his own actions when he posts to the network like that.
for all peter wants neal to be on the right side of the law, he never wants to change who neal is as a person. he doesn't want to take the guy he knows, replace him with some law-abiding citizen and then let the normal neal come out and play when he's done. but this, whoever himself is, whatever himself is using neal for sets peter on edge, makes the weight of knowing that he failed in doing what he's supposed to for neal settle deep in his gut and twist into something that makes him want to hurt them for doing this.
but he won't. not yet, not until he hears more. ] And then you come back and you don't know. You come back to seeing a post on the network that's you dicking around but isn't really you.
Jesus, Neal. [ a heavy exhale. ] Do you ever get a warning you're going to have an episode? Which, honestly, this what this sounds like so I'm going to use that word.
no subject
[ there's a part of peter, deep down that thinks about how neal wanting to make him happy, wanting to live up to the expectations he set is the best thing. that's all peter has ever wanted neal to do, meet the expectations he knows he can and see that being on his side of things isn't half bad. ]
You only use ten percent of it, there's an idea about how we can't access the rest. [ and then there's a very long silence where peter just listens. he listens to neal tell him that, in effect, he isn't in control of his own actions when he posts to the network like that.
for all peter wants neal to be on the right side of the law, he never wants to change who neal is as a person. he doesn't want to take the guy he knows, replace him with some law-abiding citizen and then let the normal neal come out and play when he's done. but this, whoever himself is, whatever himself is using neal for sets peter on edge, makes the weight of knowing that he failed in doing what he's supposed to for neal settle deep in his gut and twist into something that makes him want to hurt them for doing this.
but he won't. not yet, not until he hears more. ] And then you come back and you don't know. You come back to seeing a post on the network that's you dicking around but isn't really you.
Jesus, Neal. [ a heavy exhale. ] Do you ever get a warning you're going to have an episode? Which, honestly, this what this sounds like so I'm going to use that word.