"Yeah. Because he was just... well... it's just awkward." She doesn't want to go into it, not really. Doesn't want to divulge the things that she's done that made it difficult, made it awkward to go on trying to follow in his footsteps when she'd already strayed so far from what he'd want for her.

"Doesn't sound like it'd be pretty very often. Not in your line of work." There's no judgment in it, just a pondering tone. "At least you don't get pleasure in it. That's what keeps you sane. Keeps you from turning out like... like some kind of crazy sociopath."

For a moment, she feels guarded when he asks that, but then relaxes, takes a moment to think it over. "Really only a few times," she admits. "Sometimes, you can just use your training, or your words. But when it comes down to you or them, it always has to be them." She's firm when she says that. Firm in that belief. "If I was afraid to deal the first blow, I wouldn't be here right now. Not that I was ever in a habit of dealing blows at all. But a few times I've had to incapacitate the prisoners. No serious injuries, in the end. But it's still a touchy subject for prison administration."