"I don't think you have to worry too much about the pirates," he grumbles, leaning to inspect where the portal used to be, "One look at your room, they'll think their own fellas already plundered it."

And then he motions back behind him when he turns to face the fella.

"But hey--Portal pit falls? That'd be pretty swank. You ever get hostiles, you could shove a pirate into it like it's a swimming pool, have them pop right out into open space. Or something super morbid."