[the shadow flickers into his eyes and for maybe the first time since anyone has asked in the last few months Jim briefly doesn't look okay. He's been good at wrapping it up in barbed wire, taking the training of Starfleet and his own private war and keeping himself safe (or maybe everyone else safe) from the chaos that only daily meditation had kept at bay. It's the same shadow that crossed his face the day Tarsus came up; someone dark and ugly.
There is so much he wants to tell Bones, so much that begins with the Ambassador is in my head and goes to you left and the sickness and the wraith and the masks and Sulu and I just saw fifty people killed-
It's too much and Kirk takes a breath like he's only just remembered to breath. He glances for passed the doctor and around the room, as if to check if anyone else caught his lapse of control before his attention comes back around.]
God, I don't know where to start. I've got files on everything. [probably the first time he's kept a real record, lord knows he hates paperwork. But he needs it up here, like a reminder of Starfleet and of home]
no subject
There is so much he wants to tell Bones, so much that begins with the Ambassador is in my head and goes to you left and the sickness and the wraith and the masks and Sulu and I just saw fifty people killed-
It's too much and Kirk takes a breath like he's only just remembered to breath. He glances for passed the doctor and around the room, as if to check if anyone else caught his lapse of control before his attention comes back around.]
God, I don't know where to start. I've got files on everything. [probably the first time he's kept a real record, lord knows he hates paperwork. But he needs it up here, like a reminder of Starfleet and of home]