(closed) story time.

[mindtricks]

CHARACTERS: roy walker & cassandra anderson
LOCATION: medbay
WARNINGS: knowing roy, trigger warnings for depression and suicide.
SUMMARY: roy will tell the story of Κασσάνδρα, the seer no one believed.
NOTES: backdated to the 14th, continuing/in response to this.



[ she hasn't been to the medbay before, feeling no more inclined to accept medical treatment now than she did when she walked away from peach trees. dredd patched up the wound on her side, it's fine. even now, she's not here for that but rather to see roy. he's given no last name, but she can't imagine that it will be particularly difficult to find him, especially given that she knows what he looks like.

he'll be the first person she actively seeks out on the tranquility. hearing him tell her about the seer with her name should be interesting — and it should take her mind off the fact that she failed her final assessment, that she lost her primary weapon. that still nags even though she's no longer in mega city one (and that is another thing she wouldn't mind being distracted from.)

she's — curious.

anderson spots him and steps closer. ] Roy. [ in place of the sir that he wouldn't accept. ]

Comments

[mindtricks]

[ she isn't looking right now. people don't welcome the intrusion, she knows that much, and while there's not necessarily inherent respect for that (perps or suspects don't get consideration and she doesn't see anything wrong with looking with anyone else, either), she does take it into account to some extent. ]

People always die, not just in myths. [ and maybe that's the wrong thing to say to him. it's true, though: sooner or later, everybody dies. ]

They do if I tell them what they're thinking. [ besides, mutants in her world aren't precisely rare, for all that they're not well-liked. ]

[fallasleep]

[ People always die, she says, and Roy knows that to be true. Knows that to be a fact. People die everyday; he lived in a hospital for months, so why won't he know that? But people die when they shouldn't, live when they deserve or want to die, and Roy thinks that the world has no sense of fairness whatsoever because-

(Because if he can give his life for Alexandria's father to live, he would. Hell, he would even give it to the man who puts his teeth in his water glass. Because then his life will mean something.) ]

So they do, [ he says instead of all the thoughts whirling in his mind. He looks into her eyes and thinks that it's a pity, really, that she's not looking anymore. ]

Then you're not much of a Cassandra, are you?

[mindtricks]

[ she's seen good people die. she's lost her parents to residual cancer and there have been moments when she might have wished that some perp had died in their stead. that kind of thing doesn't happen, though, and wishing for it is futile. so instead she tries to make a difference. the frustration at the unfairness of the world isn't foreign to her, she just channels it into something else. ]

Maybe not.

[ and he was avoiding her eyes before, but now he isn't and so she looks back, steadier than she feels because the darkness inside of him hasn't left her entirely unaffected, she's just seen worse and she's had practice keeping it from showing. ] That isn't such a bad thing.

[fallasleep]

It's a good thing.

[ Maybe he's correcting her; maybe he's speaking just for the sheer sensation of making his mouth move. But it's true, really; that she's no Cassandra of myth, because Cassandra of Troy had a terrible life and a horrible death. Maybe Roy is beyond help, really, because he still wouldn't wish that on her, even though her very existence and attitude seems to invalidate all that he is. ]

[mindtricks]

[ he isn't a perp and he isn't dead yet. in cassandra's eyes, that means he isn't beyond help yet, not really. the darkness inside of him is extensive and she's not going to think that she can rescue him, but if there's one thing she's learned it's that hope is tenacious. no one's really beyond hope until they're gone. ]

Thank you. [ whether that's for calling it a good thing, or for the story, or for both — who knows. ]

[fallasleep]

[ Her reaction surprises him. 'Thank you' has the implication that, at the very least, Roy's words and actions have some meaning. To at least one person. And she sounds sincere about it - sincere instead of automatic - and he looks at her for a long, silent moment. ]

For what?

[ He doesn't think that there's anything he's done in the past few minutes that deserves thanks. Especially if she had looked into his head. ]

[mindtricks]

[ it did mean something — he's the first person she's actively sough out on this ship on the promise of a story and for all of the darkness inside of him, he's still engaged her, hasn't he? she doesn't understand him, she doesn't understand the depression because cassandra is, at her very core, hopeful and optimistic in the face even of extreme hardship, but a lack of understanding doesn't preclude meaningful conversation. ]

The story.

[fallasleep]

It's not a very good story. [ He doesn't know why he's saying this; doesn't even know why he's still speaking. But he is, nonetheless, and he entertains the thought of biting off his own tongue for a moment.

But then it's working again. He keeps talking. ]

And I didn't tell it very well.

[ He's not even sure what he's looking for right now. Pity? Sympathy? For her to stay here and keep him company even though he's (almost) sure he wants her gone? ]

[mindtricks]

[ why wasn't it a good story? because it wasn't happy?

she hasn't been looking, but she does now because she can't read his face and she's never enjoyed not knowing. (she's out of her comfort zone here in an entirely different way than she'd been in peach trees. violence is a discomfort. this isn't like that.) ]

You told it. [ she shrugs. there isn't a lot of storytelling in mega city one, in the academy. ]

How long have you been here?

[fallasleep]

[ What is that supposed the mean? That because Roy told the story that it's a good story? Or that she's defaulting to her judgment? He doesn't know, and Roy is almost startled to realise how familiar that feeling is - not knowing. Being in a state of limbo.

It doesn't mean he likes it, but he is used to it. He rubs his eyes, just a little. ]

Only just. [ Wryly. ] Came in last 'jump', or that's how they're calling it.

What about you?

[ What in goddamned hell can't he stop himself from asking questions? ]

[mindtricks]

[ it means that it doesn't matter whether it was a good story or not, he told it and that's what she's thanking him for.

(not knowing is precisely why she's back in his head. she hates not knowing. ]

Me too. [ to say that she'd been surprised to wake up here — well. ] It's very different from your time.

[ a question coached in a statement. he's so far from the past, how is he dealing with technology and aliens? ]

[fallasleep]

[ He hears it, the unspoken question. It's a kind of a polite question, the way that people dance around what they want to ask but don't want to be rude. He's had too much experience with that, given that he lives in Los Angeles and works in the burgeoning film industry.

Roy is almost tempted to not answer. He doesn't have an answer- but that won't be fair, and she's listened to him in a way almost no one has for a long time. Roy might like to believe he's an asshole, but he's not. Not really. ]

People are the same, in the end. [ He shrugs. ] Hospitals are the same too, even though they call this a medbay.

[ He gives her a small smile, shattered in its forming. ]

I haven't seen much of this place.

[mindtricks]

[ it's not even so much about not wanting to be rude — she's shot people in the head, asking questions doesn't quite compare to that. it's about not wanting to push too far. maybe that is not wanting to be rude? she doesn't do it to comply with any perceived social norms. ]

Do you want to?

[ see more of the place. cassandra knows she'd want to, if she were stuck in a hospital/medbay. ]

[fallasleep]

[ Does he? He doesn't want to be curious. He doesn't want to feel wonder again, or awe, or anything that might even slightly make him feel that the world is worth living. ]

No.

[ Yes, the word comes, and it rings so loudly in his mind that he wants to press his hands to his ears and stop listening. ]

[mindtricks]

[ even if she hadn't been looking already — she thinks she would have picked up on it because he's all but projecting. ]

Why are you lying?

[fallasleep]

[ He starts at her words, his entire upper body twitching, and he grabs hold of his blankets tightly. His lips have thinned into a line, and he almost wants to reach out and grab her by the collar and shake her.

(But he doesn't. He knows he won't be able to, and he has enough reminders of his inability already.) ]

I'm not lying. [ Through gritted teeth. ]

[mindtricks]

[ if he were to shake her with actual hostile intent, she would put him down, inability or no. that he's thinking about it doesn't phase her, or doesn't phase her much, at least. ]

Then you're lying to yourself.

[fallasleep]

[ He narrows his eyes at her, his hands clenching even harder on the blankets. ]

Are you looking into my head?

[ Oh, now that comes out hostile alright. ]

[mindtricks]

Yes.

[ what else is there to say but that? yes, she's looking inside his head — and the hostility only makes her training kick in more than it has until this point: she doesn't think that he'll attack, but if he were to? she'd be ready. it's instinct more than anything at this point. ]

[fallasleep]

You should stop. [ Flatly. ] You should stop looking into my head if you're going to lie about it.

[ And he realises that he's gritting his teeth, nearly baring them at her, leaning forward with his hands clenched in the sheets, nearly tearing them apart with how hard he's pulling them.

He hasn't been so angry in- in such a long-

Roy deflates immediately, his hands rubbing at the corner of his eyes, and he almost shakes. ]

Damn you.

[ Soft. ]

[mindtricks]

[ there is no use in reading his mind if his thoughts are fragmented, unfinished — it tells her nothing that his expression and the anger in it doesn't already tell her. it doesn't explain how he deflates and why he stops.

there's a vulnerability to him once the anger leaves him that makes her feel almost guilty.

when she reaches out to put a hand to his shoulder in something like comfort or companionship, it's careful; she's prepared for him to lash out again.

gently - but nevertheless firmly, because she is quite certain of this: ] It wasn't a lie.

[fallasleep]

Either you're lying, or I am. And I know I'm not lying.

[ Does he sound childish and petulant? Yes, he is, and he knows it perfectly well. He knows that he's being no better than a child stomping his foot with his fists shoved onto his hips, staring defiantly outwards.

He knows that he's throwing a childish tantrum, but he doesn't care. He has to win this argument. He has to. ]

[mindtricks]

[ she knows he's both lying and not — it isn't really a lie when he's torn himself. and she could argue that point, they could easily discuss this to death and they're both right so neither of them would likely give in.

instead: ] Come with me.

[ when she goes to explore. ]

[fallasleep]

What? Now?

[ It's easy enough for Roy to fall back on a sharp-edged voice filled with mockery; easy for him to twist his lips as he looked at Anderson like she's an idiot. ]

In case you haven't noticed, I can't exactly get out of bed.

[ There's a part of him that realises how much he uses his broken back as an excuse. There's an even smaller part that recognises it as an excuse.

But the part of him that says that he should change all that has long been drowned out. ]

[mindtricks]

Not right now.

[ she's been looked at like she's worse than an idiot. been called worse, too. that - and, in part, her training - makes it easier to ignore the sting. ]

Haven't they invented wheelchairs yet in your time?