ataraxionlogs | i got the magic in me ( open )

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i got the magic in me ( open )

CHARACTERS: Lily Evans & YOU
LOCATION: O2 Gardens, second floor ( jungle )
WARNINGS: magic!!!!!!!! nah, nothin.
SUMMARY: Lily's practicing magic in the gardens because what else would she be doing?

[ some people bake when they're stressed out. some clean, some drink, some eat, some party. Lily? Lily practices her magic when she's stressed. which sounds like a poor decision, like operating heavy machinery when you're tired, but really it helps, just a little bit. both because it takes her mind off of whatever is stressing her out, and because the amped up emotions help drive her magic a little further than it might stretch normally. it's usually not very smart to feed on a negative emotion, but, she's learned to turn it into determination, more than anything else. so she's stressed, but she's channeling it into something useful. which is something to feel good about!

so she's found herself in the O2 Garden, after getting sick of practicing in the cold, steely rec room on her floor, wand out, even though she hasn't actually cast any spells just yet. no, right now she's just thinking. tracing patterns in the air to leave a faint brush of sparkles behind, practicing the patterns she's just memorized this week as she mentally goes through the list of spells she needs to get through in today's predetermined schedule. not that she's planned for any advanced magic ( no Animagus studies today, no Apparation either ), but it's still quite a lot to get through. it's just like she's back at school doing her homework! only these are entirely self inflicted assignments. right.

she pulls in a slow breath, training her wand on the small pile of leaves she collected off of a tree and placed in the middle of a nearby path. it's not ideal, working with leaves when you're surrounded by more leaves, but she's focused. ]

Wingardium leviosa. [ a basic charm, but she's doing it to isolate the pile of leaves. then- ] Avifors. [ she transfigures those leaves into birds. tadaaa! after speaking with Margaery, the spell has been on her mind, and so.. why not, right? it's another basic spell, but she figures she'll practice transfiguring birds before conjuring them. yeah. for now, she has a small flock of little birds fluttering around in unison, in whichever way she directs her wand. brilliant. ]

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[If he thinks about it too often, Harry is aware that he's gotten over the dust-up with James and the resultant 'Marauder ban' all too easily. He doesn't like to admit to himself that he always suspected that he's generally unlikeable and that those he wants to impress will leave, but in his heart, he's come to rely on that as a constant. Sure, it might be ugly and some might argue it's not the truth, but it's what comes to pass time and time again.

Mulling over this thought and others, Harry doesn't pay quite as much attention to his surroundings as he should and as such finds himself watching the flock of birds with interest. There's a bit of shrubbery obstructing Lily from his view, so he he doesn't back away before coming into her line of sight.]

[ she's pretty focused on her spellwork, but of course Lily notices when someone else approaches from just over there, the sound of footprints against the packed dirt path is enough to catch her attention, but it doesn't break her focus, not for a bit. even after nearly six years of learning magic, the sheer limitlessness of what she can do with her wand is something that will always take her by surprise. the formation of birds tilts with the slightest flick of her wand, reforms and moves with a thought. when Lily whistles, they reply in kind, a soft sound despite the number of them.

seeing someone watching from the corner of her eye eventually makes her look away, if not just out of politeness, wanting to say hello to whomever decided the gardens were a good place to hide away for a while as well, and she can't help the way her stomach does a nervous sort of flip=flop once she spots who it is.

she could stay quiet, keep to herself. after the last time they spoke, she's not sure he'll even want to make amends, not yet. she doesn't know for certain, which only makes her feel a little more unsure of herself. she doesn't know him so well at all, and not too long ago she wanted to change that, wanted to be a big part in his life. now, she's sure, she's managed to ruin it.

of course, the distraction of her thoughts eventually starts to show in her spell, all nine of those birds landing on the ground and just sort of looking at her.

which is creepy! ]

Oh! Sod it- [ because maybe looking down at the birds all just STARING AT HER made her start, flustered, and with a flick of her wand they pop back into a pile of leaves at her feet. with that, she steps around the pile so Harry can see her now, giving him a half-smile ]

'Lo.

[ quiet, curious, nervous. all wrapped up in one tiny little syllable ]

[He should've moved on as soon as he realized that there was magic at work, but it was such fine charmwork and so unlike anything he was any good at that Harry felt he had to stay. It had been some time since he'd met Slugworth and heard about the petal that became a fish ~~and then a petal again~~ and it was good to have a first-hand memory of something similarly lovely.]

Hullo.

[He seems well enough. A little less cheerful than he might've been before, a couple of tiny pinprick spot burns from welding in the shuttle bay, but nothing instantly alarming.]

I don't know if you ever met her, but Ginny's gone home. Which isn't great, but at least she can tell the others where I am.

[ the news still makes her frown, despite the 'up side' to it ]

I never got the chance to meet her in person, but I'm still sorry to hear it.

[ mostly because she knows how lonely this place can seem, without a close friend here with you. Lily knows the marauders well enough, but she wouldn't consider them her best mates. not like Marlene or Alice. she can't help but think this place would be easier to handle if she had one of them here with her. still, learning that Ginny had gone home makes her feel a quick burst of but I'm here!!, even if she won't actually ..say that to him. she still wants to be there for Harry, despite what happened with Peter ]

So.. What have you been up to?

She's brilliant. She'll be fine without me.

[What's implied is that he's not as sure if he'll be just as 'fine' without her. While Harry hadn't been overly open about his personal life, it's not unreasonable to make the assumption that there was something going on between the two of them.]

I've been working in the shuttle bay. I joined the flight crew.

[He pauses.]

I've been asked not to talk to you. Are you sure we ought to continue?

[ she was going to ask about flight crew, but- ]

Not talk to me? Who in the world would try and- [ okay, duh, it's not that difficult to sort out who would try and tell Harry not to talk to her. it's still ridiculous enough to make it hard to wrap her head around, however ]

James Potter has no say over who I do or do not speak with, here or at home. So. Am I sure? Certainly. If anything, I'm only concerned with how you feel, considering how I broke up your fight with him. You're not mad at me for that, are you? Be honest. I would much rather talk about it now than have their be hard feelings between the two of us.

[He wasn't specifically told to avoid Lily, but all the Marauders and their associated friends. It's not the only reason Harry has been keeping himself quiet for the past month.]

No, I'm not mad at all. If anything, I'm relieved. I was --[He trails off, frowning for a moment before he decides to press on and tell the ugly truth.]-- I was afraid I was going to hurt him. When he came at me, I reacted out of habit and, ah, that would've been bad.

You're right, it would have been very bad.

[ tiny bit of an edge to her voice there, because she understands how tempers work, of course, she's got one of her own. but she's also a very big advocate of self control, keeping your impulses in check. the idea of Harry having an attack-first habit doesn't sit well with her ]

He wasn't in the wrong, you know. And neither were you, for telling Peter the truth, but I don't think you realize the gravity of what you're doing to us all just by laying it all out so plainly. Maybe on paper it feels like the smart thing to do, so we can prepare, but it's more than just preventing the future from happening the way it did for you. [ oops rambling. she stops, brow furrowing a bit ] James is reckless, when it comes to his friends. I'm not telling you this because I want you to be sensitive to it, I'm just saying- Only be the bearer of bad news if you know you can stay grounded in the face of it when nobody else is. Otherwise, don't. It's not your responsibility to save us.

[Harry listens to what Lily has to say and is trying to work out a suitable response, but as she finishes, a surprised and unpleasant laugh bubbles up and breaks free.]

It's not my responsibility to save you?

[He covers his mouth as if to ward off another sharp, angry laugh. When he's sure that he'll be able to speak calmly, he continues:]

And, frankly, how the future plays out for me isn't important. Other than acting as tool to end the war, my life is irrelevant. It's everyone and everything else that matters.

[He doesn't tell her what he wants to say. That he's sure if she saw Hogwarts fall and her friends die, that she'd fight to the end and beyond to stop it. That doing nothing is a worse sin than trying and failing.]

I didn't loose my cool because I was upset with him. I nearly hurt him out of instinct. When I see someone come for me, I expect them to gut me, to use an Unforgivable, to do anything other than give me a tap on the jaw.

It's not your world and I know you don't understand or want to know, but I've been fighting since I was eleven. Not school yard scraps with jelly-legs jinxes or whatever children are supposed to do, but with people trying to kill me.

[ Lily's still torn down the middle when it comes to this. part of her fears it, hates that she wasn't there to help him through any of that, but the other part of her is just so- bloody frustrated ]

I know what you meant. And I do want to know. I don't know how many times I have to say that before you believe it, but I do want to know. It's important to me, because you're important to me. The only reason why I don't wish to talk about those things is because of how you respond to our reactions. As if we're meant to be completely emotionless and competent when you're explaining how horrible things are in the future for all of us.

[ she sighs, chewing into her bottom lip ]

We need to find a middle ground. We have to. Somewhere that we can talk about the future, but you won't hold any expectations over our heads, and we won't turn away from it just because it seems so unlikely for any of us right now. Namely, we can't give Peter anymore reason to feel guilty over something that's still years away in his life.

I'm not asking any of you to do anything. All I want, all I asked from you before, was to take a list of six objects to Dumbledore. I know that I can be forceful in my opinions, but I can't understand why ...

[Harry closes his eyes and counts to ten. And then does it again. He will not lose his temper here and now. He will not yell at Lily or accuse her (and by extension the rest of the Marauders) of cowardice and willful blindness. It's just what he's said - anything he wants or feels is irrelevant in the face of the war.]

I can see that I've gone wrong somewhere, that I just can't understand any of you properly, but I know that you should be allowed to grow up, have fun, be silly and happy. And you've had that chance. You didn't need to be a soldier as a child, and you don't need to be one now, but...

[He's not angry at her, just sad and almost resigned. There's no better arguments beyond what he's already said.]

Maybe Dumbledore had known what he was doing and that children raised well and happily can't do ugly, necessary things.

[ there's a sort of heavy ball of nerves that's sitting in her stomach with everything he's saying, but mostly, right now, she's confused- ]

If all we need to do is show this list to Dumbledore, if that's all you really wish to accomplish by telling us about the future, why tell Peter about what happened when we don't have any sort of context for it? If your intentions are good, they're being overshadowed by the fact that you only seem concerned with making sure things turn out better in the future, not right now. Everything is a mess now, and it's because we didn't place any boundaries on what should and shouldn't be discussed. It's- It's not a matter of wanting to be ignorant of the future, it's the fact that we're not even supposed to know about any of it to begin with. There's a reason for that. If we're going to change things, we need to be more careful about it.

[There's a moment where he looks as if he wants to debate her further, but it doesn't last. Harry sighs, his shoulders dropping as he scrubs his hands through his hair.

'If he has good intentions.' It breaks his heart to realize that she's no better than The Prophet or anyone else that refused to believe his warnings. If there's one thing witches and wizards excel at, it's willful ignorance.

He's hurt and disappointed, but worst of all, he's angry at himself for not having seen this coming.]

If Peter had been here when I made the original offer, I'd have included information about him in that as well, but he wasn't and I never even had the chance to talk about any of it. t

[He licks his lips and looks off into the distance, eyes focusing on something far off in the garden.]

I'm sorry, you don't need to hear me justify myself. I think James was right and I'd best remove myself and whatever threat you seem to think I pose to you and your lives here. Good-bye, Lily.

[It's a lovely little flock of birds--very coordinated, all moving together, following Lily's directions in perfect obedient synchronisation. A fine display of magic.

It's only a pity that--after flying in peace for a few moments--something begins to disturb the birds. Barely noticeable at first, maybe, but eventually it's unmistakable. It's like someone is plucking one bird at a time out of the flock and turning it the opposite way, forcing it to fly against the flock just for a moment before letting it go back with the others. Dizzying, especially for a bird that was a leaf just a few moments before.

Who would dare to cock up Lily Evans' spellwork? That would be Mister S. Black, though that's not going to be obvious straightaway. He's sitting across the way, after all, with his leather jacket on and a bottle of space beer open at his side, idly disturbing her birds. Not smirking, as usual, but this casual bit of mischief is certainly an improvement from his horrible moods of the past month.]

[ w h a t

Lily knows how this spell works, knows that it's not in the nature of the transfigured birds to up and try and fly away from the bunch, so the fact that every so often one of them does just that makes her feel uneasy. is it true, then? the ship's managed to take away some of her ability to control her magic? it was too subtle to panic over, but it still makes her huff, the birds circling slowly for a moment while she tries to sort out what could be wrong.

she draws a line with the tip of her wand, straight across, and the birds fall into place, hovering like hummingbirds as she looks them over. yes. inspecting each bird will definitely help her figure out what's causing them to break formation ]

[And, despite himself, Sirius smiles--just a little. He gives her a moment to study her birds, taking the opportunity to get a sip of beer in, and then he raises his wand again. She's probably relaxed a bit by now, she's probably feeling a little more confident that it was all just a fluke. Perfect timing.

He flicks his wand, once, murmuring a charm. There's no breezes aboard the ship, not really, so why does one bunch of of Lily's hair suddenly have a mind of its own?--enough so that it slips down against her neck, and then raises itself in the air, making a delicate little curve away from the rest of her hair and her head, as firmly as if there's a wire in it.

And if she gets distracted by that--and who wouldn't--then it's the perfect time to distract one of her little birds, to push it gently to the ground so it's hovering just a few feet above the dirt there instead, a blip in the otherwise ordered line of birds.]

[ Lily yelp and twirls around as soon as she feels her hair lift, thinking a bug of sorts is fussing with it, and ew, ew, ew. her hand moves to smooth it down, over and over, then she shakes her head like a puppy, complete with a quiet hnn!! squeek of alarm. gross!

but there's no bug. at all. and her hair won't settle flat no matter how many times she runs her fingers through it, so. she turns back around again, lifting her wand to cast a silent finite on her hair, shaking it out until it rests flat again. alright, so it was a spell. better than a bug! but that means.. ]

Potter.

[ who else would mess with her like this? so she squints into the surrounding brush, trying to find a flash of something that doesn't fit in. it's not that easy, of course, and- ]

Oh. What's-? [ EERIE BIRDS STOP FOLLOWING LILY. finite incantatem. with a flutter, they all change back into leaves, and float to the ground. ]

You know I'm going to find you, so you might as well surrender now. While you still can.

[ idle threats, but whatever. she's got her wand out, eyes peering around the foliage for a mop of messy hair and glasses. yes, she's sure it's James. ]

[It's going to take a hell of a lot more than little pranks and mistaken identities to properly cheer Sirius, but this is a nice little dent in that effort. Potter? Really? Like James has the finesse necessary to single birds out of an enchantment like that. Indigence nearly has him shout that out to Lily. There's something very charging-stag about James, sometimes.

But he keeps silent for the moment, even though he's grinning, and he raises his wand again, twitching it with a murmured spell. The leaves-formerly-known-as-birds lift up, like a sudden gust of wind has caught them, and suddenly they move to swirl around Lily in an autumnal tornado--not touching her, but just whirling around and around, starting in a tight formation around her hips like a hula-hoop, and then spacing out, slowly--]

Honestly.

[ she stops short once the leaves start to circle her, up on her toes a bit, like she doesn't trust that the leaves won't just fly up into her face at any given moment. but she'll wait it out, for the moment at least, even though her free hand is reaching out into the path of the leaves, just to watch them tumble about just to keep in motion with the rest of them. maybe the precision of it, the subtlety, should be a sign that it isn't James, but she isn't putting enough thought into it to really suss that out. someone is pestering her with magic, that's all she's focusing on.

but then! an idea. if it is Potter- ]

Accio glasses.

[ that means he'll be blind in just a moment. her free hand is out, ready to catch his specs, but. then. there's nothing.

okay. ]

-- Accio firewhiskey.

[ because maybe it's Sirius. and he would bring booze into the Gardens, just like she's sure that they used to sneak some out into the Forest back home. hm. ]

Accio bottle.

[ less specific, in case- whoa! Merlin. that was close. she caught the bottle as it soared in from the left before it smacked her right square in the chest, but she stumbles back with it, hugging it close until she's sure she has her footing. she still can't tell exactly where it came from, but she faces that direction anyway, ignoring the leaves now, like she can actually spot whichever one of the boys felt like drinking up here ]

Oh, yes. What class. [ she sounds amused though, taking a whiff of the mouth of the bottle and immediately recoiling with a scrunched nose ] Is this beer? Nearly half gone, as well. I don't suppose you'd mind terribly if I finished it off then, would you-? [ Lily you've never had beer that wasn't preceded by 'butter' in front of it in you life, just don't even ]

[And, despite himself, Sirius snorts at that. He's rumbled anyways, there's no point in playing as if he isn't. And anyways, the thought of Lily Evans downing a space beer would make an empty uncharmed suit of armor laugh.]

Go ahead. I'll summon more, we'll have a bloody party.

[He shoves off from his vantage point on the rock and ducks out into her little clearing, his hands shoved in his pockets and his shoulders hunched a little. Not his usual loud and boisterous self, obviously, but making attempts at it as best as he can.

He nods to her, a nod of greeting and a go ahead all at once.]

It's space beer. Have you had any? Like drinking a bottle of varnish. Delicious. Nice birds, by the way.

[ oh, Sirius. it's not pity that Lily's feeling right now, but it's something that's kind of a little bit like concern, and she can't help the look she gives him before she's sparing another glance at the bottle in her hand ]

I haven't, actually. But you know? I think I'll pass. You don't really seem like you're in a partying mood, besides. [ she holds out the bottle for him, very much here, take it. although! in a rare twist of events, when Sirius gets close enough to reach for it, she pulls it back in an attempt to try and play keep-away. check this witch out! playing tricks. kinda. if turning her body and holding her hand out whenever he might reach for the bottle she's holding counts as a trick. ]

[A few days ago, that would have been a risky little trick, given Sirius' temper and mood. Today, though, he only stops, for a beat--and then smiles, a little tightly.]

Hilarious. Seems to me that if you're pulling the bottle away from me, you're at least planning on a sip of it. Or are you up to something else, Evans?

[ she's being charming as hell, Sirius. duh. can't you tell. that smile makes her squint a little bit, in a playful way, step closer to him and tilt her head that way. which is her way of saying 'nope, that isn't quite right, is it?' without actually voicing it ]

Maybe! Or- [ there's a very deliberate pause, but now she'll take a sip, her face scrunching up as soon as the taste hits her tongue. she tries to smooth out her expression again before she lets the bottle hang at her side again, but there's probably still a trace of oh dear god why in the way her lips purse ] Nope, definitely not that, definitely not doing it just to take a sip. Which must mean I'm up to something else. Hmm. [ still not letting him take the bottle back, by the way, if he tries ] This is atrocious, by the way. For the record. Why would you be drinking this when I know you have a perfectly good bottle of Firewhiskey to binge drink from?

[It's not particularly uncharming, or anything, but-- what does one do when they have Lily Evans behaving sweetly to them? This isn't something Sirius is precisely used to. He's used to scowls, to catty little remarks and attempts to sabotage his every good plan. This is Lily Evans, smiling at him with her head cocked, almost sweetly, and--

And then she takes a sip of beer, and that face she makes. Sirius hasn't ever really thought of Lily as cute, but that? That's nearly cute.]

Well, it's stolen, innit. When you steal for the first time in your life, your first stolen good gets a little curse on it. Everyone knows that. It gets easier, though, trust me. Next time you try to steal my beer--

[And he grabs for the bottle, and--well, she's quick, so he doesn't get it back, not just yet--]

--well, you won't ever steal my beer again, actually, so there you are, no worries. And I can't have firewhiskey, that's for special occasions. Like Fridays. Really. Girls.

Steal something for the first time? This? Hm.

[ she looks at the bottle again, like this is really the important thing to focus on here. the fact that he thinks she hasn't ever snagged something from someone else, or, well, stolen anything at all. but she'll move right past it, because oh, well, fine. it doesn't matter to her, nope. who cares if she's stolen anything in the past. which she might've done, on a dare, something small, like a single Fizzing Whizbee, that sort of thing. maybe. these things happen when you're bored in Hogsmeade with your dormmates. ]

Really though, Black, it's as if you don't even really want it back at all.

[ nevermind that she's taking two steps backwards, holding out the bottle still ]

[He knows, of course, that this isn't the actual first time she's stolen something. That would be pathetic and far too goody-goody even for Lily "Perfect Prefect" Evans. But that's part of the exaggeration, isn't it, pretending it's a Saint Evans-versus-Criminal Black situation, and here she's gone and stolen from him, and lowered herself down from sainthood a little.

Except, of course, he's not used to being on the receiving end of this type of thievery. This is the way he might tease a girl he's flirting with. This isn't typical Lily Evans behavior.

He takes one step forward, his eyebrows raised, almost sceptically.]

Do you actually want me to try for it? And remember, you haven't got points to threaten me with.

Edited 2013-07-26 15:48 (UTC)

[ it's all a ruse. a good-intentioned ruse, but a ruse all the same. and Sirius is playing right into it - mwahahaha! ]

Go right ahead.

Right.

[Slowly, he raises his eyebrows, a far more usual look for him--unimpressed, sceptical--and then he moves, without further warning, just all at once--steps in really close, thumps her lightly on the arm with one hand--and he's close now, nearly chest-to-chest with her close enough that he can try to get his arm around her shoulders and her neck in something of a headlock--loose, still, so he doesn't hurt her--]

Sirius-!

[ because she was expecting the thumping, the getting too close, but this- isn't-

she nearly drops the bottle in an attempt to get out of this hold he's got her in, her weight pitching forward enough that she has to shove her wand back into the deep pocket of her skirt ( Hogwarts uniforms are cool like that ) just so she knows she'll have a free hand to catch herself with if they fall. and she laughs because she can't figure out what else to do, this isn't how things work with girls- ]

This is cheating!

[ no it's not ]

We're going to fall-

[ they probably won't ]

You said for me to do my worst--it's not cheating, I'm doing what you said--

[Look, it's simple and childish, like pulling the pigtails of the girl sitting in front of you--but that's how Sirius is, sometimes. It's obnoxious and flirty and just the thing to make him grin--a little stronger, with a bit more conviction than previous grins--

He turns to the side a little, trying to throw her off so she drops the bottle of beer.]

Whoops--! Might as well give it up, Evans--

[ she stumbles forward with that turn to keep her balance, and if her cheeks are red as she laughs it's only because she's embarrassed, worried someone might come across them like this when they both look completely ridiculous. ] I don't believe I actually said that! [ she squirms a bit, trying to duck down and break free from the grip that way, but it doesn't work. ] Alright, alright! I'll give it over, under one condition.

[Like he's worried about looking ridiculous. Sirius grins, and tightens his grip on her a bit as she tries to work free--not enough that it hurts or anything, but enough that it's established that he's won. If she gets to go free, it's only because he allowed it.]

What's your condition, then? Ooh, you know, James is right, you're adorable when your face matches your hair--

Oh, you-! [ GROSS. as if he's said something really very insulting. she squirms around again, one last effort, before she just ends up twisting a little so this whole headlock thing is more comfortable ]

Okay. My condition is, simply, that you agree to meet for another talk with everyone. Well, the five of us. You, James, Remus, Peter, and myself. [ she holds the bottle up for him, like she already knows this is asking a lot. she bites her lip, slightly out of nervous, but mostly anticipation. she hasn't actually talked to Sirius about any of this yet, so she doesn't know how he'll even take it, her bringing it up. ] We need to sort things out. Officially.

[She could hardly have chosen a better topic to guarantee her release. He's holding her captive one moment--and the very next, he lets her go, all at once, and steps back without even trying to take the bottle of beer. Fuck the bottle of beer, in fact, he's not interested.

Instead, he stares at her, his mouth already set in a hard line.]

James or Remus?

Neither, actually, seeing as I can speak for myself.

[ said with a bit of an edge to her tone even as she sets herself straight again. not that she's upset by his reaction, she's actually not surprised by it at all. but. it's still disappointing. tiny bit. ]

We'll have to talk about it eventually, or we'll never get passed it. You can't tell me you actually like things the way they are right now. You wouldn't be here right now if you did. [ she lifts the bottle during that last bit, you wouldn't be drinking alone in the gardens ] So why can't we talk?

[He snorts, bleakly, and shoves his hands into his pockets. She's here on her own, but she's got the same opinion as any of them. She's right--of course she's right, and it's clear that he's not happy. People who don't know him could tell that much. Who else comes and mooches around the gardens drinking shit beer if not someone unhappy?

But that doesn't stop anger from already clipping his tone.]

How much of it d'you know?

I know that Harry told Peter about the future. And I know that you're- [ worried ] -mad that Peter's here at all. Which is- I know why you would be, but I don't entirely understand it. He's the same age as us, isn't he? Which means he's from before.. everything. [ and if her heart is starting to beat a little harder in her chest, it's only because she hates mentioning the future at all. nothing to do with Peter, specifically ] But, I spoke with James and Remus about it, so really that means I only know their side of things. And it's not as if they told me every last detail. [ she doesn't want Sirius to think she's pried her way into their business that much. she really only knows about it because she came across James and Harry during their confrontation ] Care to fill me in?

No.

[He answers flatly, and huffs a little laugh afterwards--no, he doesn't care to at all--but what choice does he have, right? She's already involved. And it's not even that he dislikes Lily, it's just-- more evidence of things changing, far beyond any control that Sirius has. He hates that. If everything could just stay the same--the Marauders, if they could stay the same, just as they are, no prophecies or sons or betrayals or wives or murders or anything, just them--

He rubs a hand over his face, scowling.]

He can't be before it. Not really. He hasn't done anything yet, but he's going to. So how do we stop that from happening, really?

[And before she can offer suggestions--suggestions James has already given, and Remus as well, and Sirius turned them all down flat and avoided all of them, but Peter especially--]

I know what happens to James. I know, and I can't just-- forget about that, about all of it. I can't look at him and know what he's going to do and just pretend I don't care.

You're going to have to.

[ it's a little bit blurted out, not desperate, but there's a please in her tone that she won't voice. it doesn't scare her to hear Sirius talk like that, anyone who knows Sirius and James know how close they are, but there's some part of her that is afraid of speeding up the process, so to speak, making the future events of home somehow happen here. which doesn't make sense, it's irrational. there aren't any death eaters here, no Slytherins, no reason why Peter should turn on them.. except for this. ]

He is from before it, Sirius. Think about it. We would have noticed if Peter were spending time with the known Death Eater followers in school, it's not as if it's a secret who practices dark magic and who doesn't. So right now he's still our friend, and the only thing we have working against us right now is how we treat him. Focus on why he's your friend back at school, nothing else. Just enough to- I don't know. [ she pauses, just to sigh, try to pull back on the whole lecturelecturelecture because that's not what she meant for this to be ] This is why we need to all talk about it, together, properly.

[ another pause, then she sort of- deflates ] I'm not trying to tell you that you're wrong for being angry. It honestly scares the bloody hell out of me, thinking about the future. But it's possible to detach yourself from it, in a way. And not just because we're literally detached from our world right now.

[He grins a little, when she gives that ultimatum at the beginning there. You're going to have to. Like it's that easy. Like she even knows what the hell she's talking about, how he thinks--what he thinks--

But of course she knows a little of what she's talking about, anyways, and the latter bit of that reminds him of that--not that he's ever forgotten, not that he could possibly forget. She dies as well, if this goes wrong, the way it's meant to. It's just that he's obsessed over the thought of James over everything else--James, the person that matters the most to him out of the entire fucking world, with an intensity that leaves him feeling unmoored just at the prospect of this future.]

Right. Detach myself. Any tips on that one, Evans? Oh, no, hang on, that's what I'm doing--

[And he reaches to try to get the bottle of beer back from her again, with far less of a playful air.]

I told James, if he can think up some way to stop it, to warn ourselves when we get back--I'll do that. I'm not doing anything, he said not to do anything, and I'm not going to. And it isn't fair.

[There's a little sneer in that, it's not fair to Peter. Like he's thinking of that at all right now.]

And maybe I'll talk to him as well, if that's what James thinks is the best. But spare me the lectures, all right?

[Granny's been searching the gardens, seeing what might be useful. When she comes across someone... tampering with morphic fields of leaves. Oh, she is not impressed.]

What do ye think yer doin'?

[ Lily notes the dismissiveness of her tone, of course she does, but that doesn't mean she's going to stop what she's doing because of it ]

Practicing my Transfiguration..

[ d i s t r a c t e d by said transfiguration yep ]

[Granny adjusts her hat]

And what exactly are ye plannin' to do about all that magic yer just tossin' about willy nilly?

[ it seems silly to be nervous about meeting Margaery here, especially since it was a completely friendly suggestion on the other woman's part, a means of distracting Lily from how absolutely insane things have been for her lately, but, she kind of is. maybe it's because Lily doesn't have any of her female friends from back home here, some part of her is too excited to get the chance to befriend a girl here that she can actually talk to about things, freely, and not worry about it being blown out of proportion like it might be if she tried talking to one of the Marauders. the boys might be Gryffindors, pure of heart and all that, but they were still boys. so she's nervous, because she's excited to actually be hanging out with a girl for the first time since she got here, and she doesn't want to mess that up.

so she arrives in the Gardens a little earlier than they planned to meet, keeps close to the main entrance so she's easily found even as she absently paces around. her wand is out, but only because it's better to hold onto something than fuss with her hands, she's sure. there's nothing more telling than someone who's fidgeting, and she'd much rather not make it clear that she's nervous right from the start. right. so. maybe no more pacing either. don't pace, Evans, it's dizzying. just. relax. and stop thinking so much ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i got the magic in me ( open )

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for margaery;