but_civilization: (Default)
Michel Combeferre ([personal profile] but_civilization) wrote in [community profile] ataraxionlogs 2013-09-01 12:47 am (UTC)

So it would. [Combeferre has to agree with the mental image he's being given there.] It does seem even likely, doesn't it? When it happens eventually, we shall look back at each other and just laugh, won't we? I would not say that he is really mine, but all of ours though. Nonetheless...I do try to do what I can. [For all of them, really, though it seems still like his focus is a bit too much on Enjolras, and less on the others who might need him. Which leads, well, to this current situation, doesn't it? He'll make more of an effort, he decides. ]

You are never a burden, either one of you, Jehan. Please never think that. You have helped me with far more than your fair share of my own. Please. Never think that I am not at your disposal when it comes to that. You do not come to others often, I know that, but it is no weakness that you do so now. [And he's reaching to put a hand over Jehan's in a gesture of friendship, reminiscent, without meaning to be, of their clasped hands at the barricade. He hoped that it might be some kind of a comfort now, even if he did not know what to say that would work here to repair things, exactly.]

A deeper friendship, yes, for all of us. I think we needed it in part. It's helped us, me at least, that the understanding is there.

But as for you and Courfeyrac...

[And Combeferre is left to wonder, really wonder, what it is like to be in love, in such an active way. As much as he cares for Enjolras, and would welcome more, he knows damned well that he has no experience in being part of a pair that returns each other's feelings so deeply. His own experiences, one mistress, when he first came to Paris, a young man from the bookshop who was much more of a friend who he occasionally went further with, a classmate, for a few months, they have all been either unbalanced, or based more on convenience than anything else. It makes him feel, well, rather less than capable of coming to a decent understanding or explanation.]

Jehan. Is it so impossible to think that you could be loved by someone in that way? You, of all people? Why should it not be you who Courfeyrac realizes that he loves? You are amazingly intelligent, and kind, and understand things beyond what many of us ever will. You could do with looking in the mirror before you go out.[And that part is said teasingly, without anything behind it but a light tone] but you are good looking as well.

Are those not reasons that you could keep Courfeyrac's interest on your own? I know you do not doubt him now, but it seems as if you start to doubt yourself by some of this. You should not. You are quite well equipped for being loved by someone, even someone who may pretend that things are playful but I should think you would have nothing to be concerned for. He loves you and you are worthy of that love. I would suggest thinking of that.


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