Luke Skywalker (
last_ofthe_jedi) wrote in
ataraxionlogs2014-03-24 10:29 am
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Entry tags:
[closed]
CHARACTERS: Skywalkers Jr. and Sr. (and also probably Padme at some point)
LOCATION: The gardens
WARNINGS: Shmoopiness and stupidity because it's the Skywalkers.
SUMMARY: Padme has told Luke that his father is on board and he races off to go meet his daddy for the first time.
NOTES: Beware. Front seats are the derp zone. You may get derped.
This time Luke was far more prepared. He'd felt like such an idiot that first day on the ship when he just happened to run into his mother of all people. What was one supposed to do when faced with a parent you never knew? Apparently twenty seconds isn't enough time to figure that out because Luke's emotions didn't finally catch up with him for days afterwards. He'd never known her and thus had nothing attached to her. He didn't even know her face or her name.
Now he's had time to ponder what it would be like meeting his father, knowing it was a possibility. He's excited and nervous and a whole bunch of other emotions that he'd actually been able to think upon long before this meeting. He'd thought about how he'd feel if anyone who he'd lost suddenly appeared aboard the ship.
All along his walk to the gardens Luke's feet keep wanting to stop so that he can take a breath and gather his thoughts. But he knows that there's nothing more to think about. It's nerves and all he can do is force himself to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Before it seems hardly any time has passed Luke is in the gardens and his heart is thudding in his chest. His knees feel like they're going to buckle under him but he keeps moving by sheer force of will. How will he know his father if he's never seen him before? Everyone keeps telling him how much he looks like him but 'a guy with blond hair and blue eyes' isn't exactly a set of all too defining characteristics when you're on a ship the size of a small city.
Still, Luke somehow knew his mother when he saw her. He felt a connection through the Force. Maybe he will this time, too.
Like right now. Luke spots him and he instantly knows it's him. He's stopped moving, though, and is simply standing there staring, unsure whether to move forward. What will his father say or do? Will he be proud or disappointed? Luke's suddenly terrified.
LOCATION: The gardens
WARNINGS: Shmoopiness and stupidity because it's the Skywalkers.
SUMMARY: Padme has told Luke that his father is on board and he races off to go meet his daddy for the first time.
NOTES: Beware. Front seats are the derp zone. You may get derped.
This time Luke was far more prepared. He'd felt like such an idiot that first day on the ship when he just happened to run into his mother of all people. What was one supposed to do when faced with a parent you never knew? Apparently twenty seconds isn't enough time to figure that out because Luke's emotions didn't finally catch up with him for days afterwards. He'd never known her and thus had nothing attached to her. He didn't even know her face or her name.
Now he's had time to ponder what it would be like meeting his father, knowing it was a possibility. He's excited and nervous and a whole bunch of other emotions that he'd actually been able to think upon long before this meeting. He'd thought about how he'd feel if anyone who he'd lost suddenly appeared aboard the ship.
All along his walk to the gardens Luke's feet keep wanting to stop so that he can take a breath and gather his thoughts. But he knows that there's nothing more to think about. It's nerves and all he can do is force himself to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Before it seems hardly any time has passed Luke is in the gardens and his heart is thudding in his chest. His knees feel like they're going to buckle under him but he keeps moving by sheer force of will. How will he know his father if he's never seen him before? Everyone keeps telling him how much he looks like him but 'a guy with blond hair and blue eyes' isn't exactly a set of all too defining characteristics when you're on a ship the size of a small city.
Still, Luke somehow knew his mother when he saw her. He felt a connection through the Force. Maybe he will this time, too.
Like right now. Luke spots him and he instantly knows it's him. He's stopped moving, though, and is simply standing there staring, unsure whether to move forward. What will his father say or do? Will he be proud or disappointed? Luke's suddenly terrified.
no subject
That revelation is the realization of an inevitability he'd hardly be wont to accept. Death is beside him, stares him in the face every time he sets foot in a warzone, every time he maneuvers his starfighter into the chaos of battle. But he stares back at death, charges toward it, fights tirelessly in spite of its mockery, because that's the only way he can keep the fear from consuming him. The only way he can protect everything he holds dear.
The only way he can ensure he won't fail again.
There have always been whispers, though, just barely present at the back of his mind, but enough to reach him in quiet moments just before he falls asleep. Whispers that tell of inevitability, that cannot be avoided no matter how hard he tries. That sooner or later, his fear would be realized. That sooner or later, his frantic efforts to avoid repeating history would spiral out from under him, and he'd fail Padmé just as he failed his mother. That he's steadily crashing into a fate he has no power to stop.
But now he knows the whispers are true.
"I sense fear in you, Skywalker."
They're no longer confined to the night (whatever night is in the middle of space), and could hardly even be considered whispers anymore. They now speak in the voice of Count Dooku, taunting him every so often without restraint and without warning; the truth brings a certain freedom. The truth that his failure extends far beyond what he could've imagined before, that begets its own fear.
And then leads to its own anger. It's hardly fair that Obi-Wan will survive and they won't, not when they're to bring children into this world. Obi-Wan will have the opportunity to experience what he, what they won't. Maybe their son is here on this ship, and maybe soon, he'll get the chance to meet him, but, ultimately, that doesn't soften the blow -
Their son.
Their son is close by.
With the way that signature practically pulses through the Force, and draws his attention toward it like a magnet, he has no doubt in his mind. There's something more than familiar about it, a kind of warm steadiness that he's only previously felt in Padmé's presence. It washes over him completely, allowing an emotion he can't give a name to take over, and locks him in place.
After what feels like an eternity, he turns at last, heart in his throat. Somehow manages to make his feet close most of the distance between them.]
Luke. [It's quiet, barely even above audible. There's no trace of a question in his tone.]
no subject
Most of his nerves have gone yet Luke still finds himself rooted to the ground. He thought it'd be different this time. He thought this scene would be different from last time, that he wouldn't freeze up and not know what to do. Yet another stranger but with that same instant connection. A stranger that he knows and how does that even make any sense?
The emotions fighting to take precedence inside him are conflicting and confusing, and once again Luke is disappointed to find that he has no idea how to handle this meeting. He's not nearly as prepared as he thought he'd be. And really, how could he be for such a thing?
He wants to hug his father. His father, standing right there. But he can't because who hugs a perfect stranger? But this isn't a perfect stranger!
Then he should say something. But what is there to say? Everything, really. So where does he begin?
Nope, that doesn't work either. Finally, at a loss for words and deciding that he doesn't care what people don't do, Luke drops his gaze to the floor and quickly steps forward to hug this stranger-but-not, his father.]
no subject
He's a child again, staring with wonder at the bright lights and bustle of Coruscant, a place he'd only been able to dream of, for the first time. He's three years and a lifetime of experience younger, and an angel is before him, joining her hands with his.
Words, thousands, millions of them, rise and seize him, only to falter and die. Over and over again. There's nothing he can grasp but the question that races through his mind. Over and over again.
What now?
- Until, at least, the answer presents itself.
At first, he tenses in response to the sudden contact. It's a reflex, one born of wartime; when success, when survival, depend on vigilance, a second's delay could make all the difference. Moments pass before he returns to himself, before it occurs to him that the answer provides nothing in the way of direction. This is his son, his family, something that shouldn't be but is, and he has no idea how to proceed.
In the end, though, some form of instinct manages to guide him. His left arm slowly encircles Luke, followed by the right. With his flesh hand, he pulls his son closer into his embrace.]
no subject
Vaguely in the back of his mind Luke registers that one of those arms feels distinctly inhuman. It's thin and the metal presses into his back, and for some reason it makes him sad, thinking about what his father must have suffered. The life of a Jedi is suddenly more real and near to him than it's ever been. A sacrifice.
Though this man seems barely older than Luke, maybe by a couple years at most, he feels like a father should, both through his embrace and through the Force. For the first time ever Luke knows what having a father is like.
Against his will and against better judgment Luke begins to feel the first sting of tears and he fights to hold them back. It's a short and inevitable struggle and soon tears are streaming freely. Luke can't speak and he can't pull away, nor does he want to. He can't show this face to his father so he hides and waits for the overwhelming feeling to subside, barely moving except for soft shaking.]