[He's never really heard that tone in Sirius' voice. Even early on, even when he and Sirius were at each other's throats in that first month, there was a great deal of nasty condescension back and forth, sure. A lot of sarcasm, a lot of unpleasantness. Petty condescension. Sure. But never that sort of...anger. Never that rage. Maybe sometimes he's heard some shadow of it directed at other people, but...He's never heard Sirius speak his name like that - never heard his name spoken like that at all.
It's...This isn't going like he'd planned. Sirius isn't supposed to be so livid over this. He's supposed to just - be okay with it. Sad, in an abstract, poetic sort of way, but not furious. Maybe there are supposed to be a few compassionate words of farewell, something that will leave them both feeling gently sorrowful but at peace. Not this fury.
(And even though Sirius' face looks strange, even though there's some odd feeling of suspicion and dislike and mistrust that's foreign to him, it's - He doesn't doubt for a moment that this is his friend. Because only his friend would be so furious.)
Miles looks at his dad. Dad's scowling; he lifts his chin in a stubborn, angry sort of way - a very familiar sort of way. He doesn't back down at all, for all that Sirius is close to him. He responds, angrily:
You will stop cursing at Miles this instant, young man. You are a guest in this house, and I am perfectly willing to retract that right if you keep abusing us both. You - ]
Dad.
[Miles interrupts, a little quietly - but Dad falls silent, looking at him. And Miles steps forward and takes Sirius' arm. Trying to draw him away from Dad.
And he says those words that have been so difficult to utter - so far beyond difficult.]
You need to...understand this. Out there, on Arima, I let them die. People died, and I did nothing to stop it. I just sat back, because I was scared. I am a coward. I do quit. And I don't deserve you being this upset.
[He swallows.]
I never deserved your friendship. I was fortunate to have it, and it - It's made me happier than anything else over the past decade of my life. But I never deserved it. Do you understand?
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It's...This isn't going like he'd planned. Sirius isn't supposed to be so livid over this. He's supposed to just - be okay with it. Sad, in an abstract, poetic sort of way, but not furious. Maybe there are supposed to be a few compassionate words of farewell, something that will leave them both feeling gently sorrowful but at peace. Not this fury.
(And even though Sirius' face looks strange, even though there's some odd feeling of suspicion and dislike and mistrust that's foreign to him, it's - He doesn't doubt for a moment that this is his friend. Because only his friend would be so furious.)
Miles looks at his dad. Dad's scowling; he lifts his chin in a stubborn, angry sort of way - a very familiar sort of way. He doesn't back down at all, for all that Sirius is close to him. He responds, angrily:
You will stop cursing at Miles this instant, young man. You are a guest in this house, and I am perfectly willing to retract that right if you keep abusing us both. You - ]
Dad.
[Miles interrupts, a little quietly - but Dad falls silent, looking at him. And Miles steps forward and takes Sirius' arm. Trying to draw him away from Dad.
And he says those words that have been so difficult to utter - so far beyond difficult.]
You need to...understand this. Out there, on Arima, I let them die. People died, and I did nothing to stop it. I just sat back, because I was scared. I am a coward. I do quit. And I don't deserve you being this upset.
[He swallows.]
I never deserved your friendship. I was fortunate to have it, and it - It's made me happier than anything else over the past decade of my life. But I never deserved it. Do you understand?