[ but it is taste like bile on her tongue. arya bites the inside of her cheek until it hurts. she likes to pin the blame on others, but it has always been her fault. the kindly man was right. everyone was right. she's reckless and selfish and proud, and it doesn't just get her into trouble. her decisions affect those around her too. it has never been for the better. gendry should know that better than everyone else.
she feels like she ought to kick or scream or cry and can't decide which — so she settles for none at all. ]
I want to go home.
[ a child's plea. an admission of weakness, her private shame. that despite knowing it as impossibility ( we're so far away, and winterfell was burnt ) she would still yearn for the grey walls and the white tree with its scary face and the northern wind rattling her shutters. she wants the shouts of the cook when she stole into the kitchens to snatch still hot cakes she would then distribute among the servants. she wants her brothers and her sister and her lord father and lady mother. she wants —
arya looks at her fingernails. sometimes she wants to be faceless again. she wishes it as much as she has wished anything. to be arya is too awful. it is her biggest secret, one she dares not breathe a word of to her brothers.
no subject
she feels like she ought to kick or scream or cry and can't decide which — so she settles for none at all. ]
I want to go home.
[ a child's plea. an admission of weakness, her private shame. that despite knowing it as impossibility ( we're so far away, and winterfell was burnt ) she would still yearn for the grey walls and the white tree with its scary face and the northern wind rattling her shutters. she wants the shouts of the cook when she stole into the kitchens to snatch still hot cakes she would then distribute among the servants. she wants her brothers and her sister and her lord father and lady mother. she wants —
arya looks at her fingernails. sometimes she wants to be faceless again. she wishes it as much as she has wished anything. to be arya is too awful. it is her biggest secret, one she dares not breathe a word of to her brothers.
— but gendry is different. ]
I'd rather be no one.