open-ish | i'm just trying to find my way to you

[uncurse]

CHARACTERS: EMMA SWAN and HOOK, SIX; and GOLD; others as they happen
LOCATION: Medical Bay ; Floor 013 ; others as they happen
WARNINGS: None
SUMMARY: Catch-all for September closed logs.
NOTES: If you wanna hit Emma up for anything, feel free to drop your own starter in this post, or get in touch with me.

Comments

[uncurse]

[ Her weight shifts from one foot to the other, and her hands raise to rest at her hips. As if she's squaring off to battle the topic rather than easing into it. The tension in her shoulders betrays any attempt to look at ease, and she—well. She looks awkward. Before Mary Margaret, she never really had a friend to talk to about this. She has Kate now, and with her needling, it's getting easier, but she still can't dig into her feelings, wants, thoughts.

This should be easier, though. Facts. What happened, nothing more. Except that what happened will indubitably lead to more questions that she doesn't have answers for because she doesn't like the idea of casting too hard a glance inward.

Shrugging her shoulders forward, her eyes roll up and around, searching the room in an ardent effort to fix on anything that isn't her mother's face. Finally, she exhales a quick huff, steadying her gaze on something outside of her right-side peripheral. ]

Hook.

[ Defensive, and seeking some kind of approval, validation, or judgment all at once, her voice starts out flat and lilts up despite any striving to keep her tone even. Slowly, finally, her eyes flicker back to her mother, looking quite like she's just taken her lipstick to color on the walls. ]

[rebelprincess]

Hook. [ Snow repeats it, because she knows she heard right, but likes to give the impression for just a moment that maybe she hadn't. Give Emma the opportunity to retract and make a correction. But that wouldn't be right either. She asked for honesty, after all. ]

Okay. You're obviously conflicted about that. He has a bit of a mottled past but... so do we. [ Banditry, piracy... Grand theft auto? Kind of similar, really. ]

[uncurse]

[ Reaching one hand up, she pushes her hair behind her ear, shrinking before her mother. Conflicted, yes. But maybe not in the way her mother thinks. After all, all things considered— ]

I know, I know.

[ She seems to struggle to put to words, then, exactly what is conflicting her. Pressing her lips together, she turns to start to take a step out, then thinks better of it, shifting her weight and turning to the other side without ever truly pacing. Finally, she lets out a sigh. ]

And so did Neal.

[ There. That easy. "Easy." Her voice is flat, as if that says everything. She looks up, dropping her hand and looking haplessly at her mother. How does she just forget that? Neal's past hadn't been the problem either (well, it had, but not in the way one might think). Being a thief, a pirate, that didn't matter.

Moral qualms weren't really at hand here so much as paranoia. It's what Hook might do in the future that spooks her, which has nothing to do with the piracy, and everything to do with making her heart vulnerable to anyone that she honestly gives a damn about. Letting people in means giving them the chance to leave her (or worse). ]

[rebelprincess]

And Neal let you down.

[ Not technically finishing Emma's sentence, but she thinks - or rather hopes - that she's caught the sentiment behind the comparison. ]

I know there's a lot of heartache there. Believe me, I understand. [ Because she dated so extensively before she met Charming? Shhh. Not her point. ] But if you close yourself off to every opportunity, you'll never find the path to your happy ending.

[ An immediate wince. The topic of the validity of happy endings is always a touchy one. She even has trouble with that one herself. ]

Or even just a good year! You... You know what I'm saying, don't you?

[uncurse]

[ While Emma's fairly certain Hook could give her a happy ending, she sincerely doubts that it's the same kind her mother is thinking of. (Not entirely true. A tiny part of her that she thought she'd lost after she lost Neal still holds onto some sense of hope, and it's reignited by the way her chest swells where Hook is concerned. She chooses to violently disregard that sentiment.) ]

You sound like Kate.

[ Or, more accurately, Kate sounds like her. This is like the moment she realizes she married her father, except with friendship and her mom. Which is exactly the same, shut up. Sighing, Emma shakes her head. A beat. Her eyebrows raise and a wry smile pulls across her features. ]

This is killing you, isn't it?

[ That the word happy ending just entered a conversation about Emma sucking face with a pirate. Better to deflect from sorting out her own feelings on the subject and instead address how Mary Margaret is dealing with it. ]

i'm sorry i'm apparently incapable of being wholly serious in a tag rn

[rebelprincess]

Good. I'm glad I'm not the only one around here giving much-needed pep talks!

[ See, Emma? Snow approves of your friend! Don't you have the coolest mom? Maybe you can all hang out sometime! Maybe? ...No? ]

I just want you to be happy.

[ La la la, this isn't about me, Emma~ ]

serious tags = overrated

[uncurse]

And you think that I would be with Hook.

[ Is she asking Mary Margaret's honest opinion here or putting her on the spot for the sake of deflection? The world may never know. It's a little from column a, a little from column b. She seems somewhat reticent to accept that conclusion, at least outwardly. The possibility has, of course, occurred to her before this point. ]

this is why we are friends

[rebelprincess]

I think you could be with Hook.

[ A+ mothering, throwing in a disclaimer so that if it doesn't pan out, she can't say but you said! Good job, Snow. ]

I think you'll never know if you don't try. And believe me, a missed opportunity can weigh so heavy on your heart.

[uncurse]

[ Emma's lips part as she gears up to say something, but she falls silent in the face of Mary Margaret's last remark. A soft sort of misery strikes in her eyes, squeezing her chest. Of course she knew. They both knew what missing out on something that could have had was like. Regina and Gold had denied them so much.

And now she was ready to throw away the opportunity for something better. Was it so much better, clinging onto years of abandonment and loneliness, refusing to even consider moving forward? Taking a chance?

It seems to strike an effective cord, because Emma can only drop her gaze, turning slightly away as it really hits home. She lets the fact that she has this choice sink in, realizing it's never been up to her before. ]

We didn't miss all of it.

[ A good wrap on the Hook subject. She'll give it more thought, that much is evident, but for now, she wants to do what Emma does best: push it down. Blue eyes level up against Snow's, and she tries a faint smile. ]

[rebelprincess]

[ It's not necessarily easier for Snow to smile, but relief that, this time, she seems to have said the right thing helps immensely. ]

No, and thank goodness for that.

[ Her smile fades again, and she squares up her shoulders. ] I suspect I've nagged at you enough for one day. [ She doesn't see it as nagging, but she suspects Emma might. It's easier to put the onus on herself. ] I should leave you be, let you have your space. But... you know you can always call me any time, right? For anything.

[uncurse]

I know.

[ And judging by the look on her face, it means more to her than she knows how to say. Pulling her lips briefly between her teeth, Emma gives a quick nod and takes a step back, ready to excuse herself. ]

I—Thanks.

[ Before things can get more awkwardly emotional, she turns to leave. ]