ataraxionlogs | PLAYER PLOT: fear is the mind-killer

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PLAYER PLOT: fear is the mind-killer

CHARACTERS: You and all your least favorite things.
LOCATION: Shipwide.
WARNINGS: Violence, gore, monsters, psych trauma. (Please warn for any potential triggers—e.g. medical horror, eye stuff, recollection of past sexual trauma—in your subject lines.)
SUMMARY: Boggarts. See the plot post for a full timeline if you want to forward-date; otherwise, watch this space for updates.
NOTES: Whatever happens, however this ends, remember that it's Draco Malfoy's fault.

JAN 22

If you've been paying attention, you should already be on edge. Ward and Resnik have returned without many answers. There's the dead pirate again. The Tranquility is being pursued. People are talking about violent confrontation like it's inevitable, any cycle now. Any day. And now Morgoth is back, somewhere in the corridors.

If you keep an eye out, you won't find him. But you might find something else.

JAN 23

Never mind about Morgoth.

JAN 24

Despite very well-intended claims to the contrary (see above), the mounting evidence suggests that boggarts can be killed. Also, there's probably more than one. Sorry about that.

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[ This is not what Odessa expected to find in the corridors near John's quarters. She's not stalking him. ~~Honest.~~ This woman - not one she recognizes, though that's not entirely unheard of with this many passengers aboard - is menacing this man who is not precisely her friend, but isn't someone she wants to see threatened. She pulls a ceramic bladed knife from one of her boots.

That's her job. ]

A lot better than yours is about to be.

[ Her mistake - and one she makes often enough that she should truly know better by now - is announcing herself before she strikes. She could have gone unnoticed. A knife in the back, before anyone's the wiser, but she just can't help herself sometimes. Odessa's attack is parried as the woman John knows as Anna spins around. Maybe he'll be glad now that no one called for her to disarm. "Anna" pushes the offensive, and Odessa has to dance backward, the flash and scrape of their weapons ringing through the air as they put distance between themselves and Kennex. Judging from the manic glint in Doctor Knutson's eye, she isn't afraid. ]

[He looks up at the familiar voice, his eyes widening at the sight of Odessa. Was she really going to help him? His hands tremble as he tries to stand straighter, try not to look like he just saw a ghost.

But she's fighting her already. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Odessa's good, and Anna's as good as he imagined her to be. He puts a hand to his wound, his fingers slipping a little in the blood.

He watches them fight, breathless, before he decides he can't just stand there. He lets of go of his wound and takes a step forward. Anna seems to notice and aims to get her and Odessa closer to John. A deep fear is stirring in his chest. Not just of dying. Of having his life royally messed up again. Tumbled around and turned on its side, having his heart ripped out and smashed into bits. The boggart seems to sense this as Anna chances a look to Kennex now and then.]

Pretty easy to fool, aren't you, John? Did you really think I was in love with you? What easy pickings you were.

[Her taunting is working on John, but it's also making her glance over at him more often.]

[ Something the two women can agree on. Something in Odessa delights in John's fear as much as this fabrication of his mind does. They're a lot alike, and it will occur to Odessa later, after she's alone in her room and thinking back on this. (Fondly.) The gaps "Anna" leaves open are the same gaps Odessa would leave.

One of her knives finds the boggart's arm. It's a superficial wound at best, but she has its attention again. With renewed interest, Odessa is pursued once more. ]

Is this who you've moved on to, John? How much will it hurt to watch her die? Will it hurt more than your leg?

[ The light in Odessa's eyes only burns brighter. ] Oooh, I'm so scared!

[ Then cold steel cuts across Odessa's stomach, slashing through white fabric and causing it to quickly saturate to crimson. The light is snuffed out. It could be much worse. A sharp tool will draw blood, even when it doesn't cut deep. This is fortunately one of those times. She goes staggering back several steps with a sharp gasp of surprise all the same. "Anna" smiles with satisfaction, and her advance is slow, stalking. ]

[She cuts her across her stomach, and that's just too much for John to handle. He can't stand there anymore. He steps forward, his face turning ugly with rage, and he gets in a punch across its face, and another, and another. The boggart falls backward and he sits on her to hold her down. Another and another and another. If he continues, he's going to kill her, or at least the boggart might skitter away. All he can see is his rage and hurt and guilt.]

[ His sudden turnabout, the sudden re-emergence of Kennex's spine is enough to drop Odessa out of the moment entirely. She stands there for several seconds, and just watches him, awestruck. It doesn't last, however. He's going to kill her, and Odessa can't let him do that.

She drops down to her knees next to where he's holding "Anna" pinned beneath his weight, and Odessa grabs one of his shoulders with her now free hand. ]

John, stop!

Edited (more actions more words, same basic tag ssshhhhhh i'm not setting anything up) 2015-01-27 08:09 (UTC)

[John hesitates, his fist in the air. His eyes are hard, his jaw is tight. But he lets his fist slowly fall to his side. He looks to Odessa then, his brows furrowed, his face tight to hold back showing emotion, his look an unspoken question.]

[ She holds his gaze wordlessly, waiting until she's absolutely certain that he's not going to start swinging his fists again.

Then Odessa's demeanor shifts. She tips her chin downward; she has work that needs paying attention to. Her occupied hand, still wrapped around the handle of her knife, raises up. In the same motion, she shoves John back roughly. The movement is swift. It's deft. It's oh, so very practiced. There is no hint of hesitation or remorse when Odessa cuts "Anna's" throat. It's not clean, and shoving him out of the way is the kindest thing she could do.

She's climbing back to her feet again and offering John a hand up while the false woman on the floor gurgles and instinctively clutches at her neck. ]

[He lets out a choked, surprised sound, falling backwards onto the floor. And watches with wide eyes as she slits "Anna's" throat. He doesn't see knife wounds as often as gunshot wounds, and this is brutal. His face contorts in pain. It's ugly. And awful.

He looks at her hand, his mouth moving to speak, but nothing coming out. He looks up at her face, then takes her hand, wordlessly letting her help him up. He stares at her, ignoring Anna. What she did... He understands it. Is even thankful for it. But he can't control how pained he looks. That Odessa had to do it. That Anna's dying.] I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.

[ Odessa looks genuinely confused for a moment. What could he possibly have to be sorry for? She smiles at him then, wiping her knife absently on the side of her shirt before ducking down briefly to tuck it into her boot again. Then, she smiles at him, gentle and serene. ] Why? That's not a burden you should have to bear. She would have killed you. She would have made you watch her kill me first, if she'd been capable of it.

[ She reaches out to touch her cleaner hand to his face with a familiarity and an intimacy that shouldn't be welcome in a moment like this. She acts like this was nothing. For her, maybe it was. The whole thing is a quiet and insidious confirmation of her nature. A nature he has been aware of all along, really, but hasn't seen applied like this. ]

[He looks startled. As much as she doesn't understand his reaction, he doesn't understand hers. He starts to flinch away from her touch, before he allows the hand to touch his cheek. He stares at her, even more confused. He understands what she did, but... why?] Why did you... Did you do that... for me?

[It sounds awful put that way, but he doesn't know how else to put it.]

[ Because only I'm allowed to hurt you is not the appropriate response to that question, but it wouldn't actually be all that far off from the truth. For all that Odessa toys with John, she genuinely cares about what happens to him. Not out of some sort of love or affection, but because he's seen what she truly is deep down, and it's liberating in some sick way. He's privy to the winks and nods in her act, where she presents herself as a perfectly normal woman just trying to cope with the horror of this place. He knows that she's the sort of creature that the horrors craft stories about. ]

I wouldn't want that halo of yours to get tarnished.

[ She draws closer to him then, or seems about to. There's a half-step retreat coupled with a soft inhale, and Odessa presses her hand to her wounded stomach. It's more performative than is strictly necessary. See what I endured for you? ]

[John steps forward immediately, wrapping an arm around her for support. He should have thought of her injury, should have helped her sooner, should have... done something other than being a blubbering idiot.

The arm around her is strong, supportive. His eyes are trained on her wound, fearing how deep it is.] We've got to get you to med bay now.

I'm fine. It's just another for the collection.

[ She's had much, much worse, and she draws him back, back, away from the blood pooling on the floor. No, wait. What happened to the--

Odessa peers around John's broader frame, staring stunned at the floor where "Anna" should be. ]

She's gone. Another damn illusion?

[He's reluctant to let go of her, really wanting to do something for the bleeding, but he lets her push him away. He turns to look when she speaks, flabbergasted by her disappearing act.] It... must have been. Goddamn ship.

[he swears under his breath, turning back to her.] At least let me treat your wound. I have some bandages in my room.

[ There's something dubious in Odessa's expression as she turns her attention where a body should be cooling, and back to John. It's telling the way she easily accepts that what just happened wasn't real at all. This wouldn't be the first time she's fought against figments of her imagination, here or back home.

She studies him for a moment, as if perhaps deciding whether or not to trust him and his intentions. Then, something about her softens, yielding to him and his request. She smiles, coy: ] Will you kiss it better?

[His first reaction is to turn red, clearing his throat. But he thinks belatedly she might not be serious, and responds with] Only if you kiss mine.

[With a gesture to his arm wound, and flirtier than he has any right to be. But they're not serious... right?]

[ Sorry, John. Odessa is being totally serious right now. She totally just got into a knife fight and if you think she's not excited as hell about that, well... Just, sorry. ]

Don't worry. I'll lick your wounds.

[ Odessa. ]

Isn't that just like you?

[ Odessa freezes as an unfamiliar (to John) woman's voice cuts through the air. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not this. Not her. Not here. The name is breathed out as a relief and a punctuation of terror: ] Isabella! [ Whoever she is to Odessa, she must have some sort of command over her, because even when confronted with the image of the person Odessa claimed to be her murderer, she did not falter this way. ]

I've come to retrieve you, darling. This has been quite enough of your games. It's time you come home.

[ Odessa looks physically struck, despite the fact that the woman delivers her ultimatum without cruelty. She's slight in stature, hardly giving the impression of being a physical match for Odessa - especially given what John's seen of her in action - but she's got something of a presence about her all the same. ]

Bella, please...

[John feels his heart skip a beat out of nervousness. What now? Was this... whatever that was that was impersonating Anna? Or was this real?

The woman seems commanding, just naturally so, but it's still strange to see Odessa like this. His hand shoots out to take Odessa's, in case she's thinking of going with this 'Bella'.]

Don't. It could be a trap, [he whispers to Odessa.]

[ Odessa's hand is limp in John's, but she doesn't try to shake him off or pull away. He can feel the tremor that rattles her frame as physically as she is emotionally so. ]

You were so careful, weren't you? Don't say that, make sure you don't show too much interest. But then you went and flew your true colors high, didn't you? You want to do better. You want to be better, but you just can't help yourself, can you? Pathological.

[ A little sob breaks the stony silence Odessa had been adopting. ] Bella, stop.

And why should I? [ The woman with red hair and pale green eyes turns her attention to John then. ] You've seen what she is, haven't you? You know that's why she keeps you around. Why she likes having you wrapped around her little finger. Did you tell her she was a monster, and did she fuck you right after?

[ That's when Odessa finally moves to pull away from the grasp John has on her hand, taking a step toward Bella, pleading. ] Stop!

Edited (I can close my HTML tags.) 2015-01-29 03:45 (UTC)

[He listens, but he doesn't quite understand. She turns her attention on John, and he hesitates at her words. Is that what happened? It puts a little hesitation back in his mind regarding Odessa, but he's not going to let her terrorize Odessa.

When Odessa pulls away, he grabs at her hand tighter, moving to pull her behind him.] Whoever you are, Bella, you're going to leave. Now.

[ Bella's whole face lights up when she laughs. She's beautiful and even though she's clearly cutting Odessa to the bone, she still seems somehow sweet. It's different than how Odessa is. Bella can seem imperious, but there isn't anything overtly sinister about her. She doesn't tend to make a person's skin crawl, or kick in the fight-or-flight responses. ] Who am I? You mean she hasn't told you about me? Oh, 'Dessy, darling.

[ From behind him, Odessa seems to wilt, clutching lightly at his arm. ] It's okay, John... Bella is my wife.

Edited (omg html) 2015-01-29 04:05 (UTC)

[He freezes at her words. His stomach feels like he swallowed lead. He swallows, trying not to get angry. The woman doesn't seem like a threat, despite the way Odessa's reacting, so he turns his back to her. He wants to touch her, figure out who she really is, finally understand the woman, but all he can manage to choke out is] Why didn't you tell me?

[It sounds far more betrayed than he has any right to be.]

[ And it's that betrayal that sticks the knife of fear further into her gut. ] I don't know. Because we're on a ship in space a billion miles from any place any of us recognizes as home? It didn't seem relevant.

And you're so interested in what's relevant, aren't you? [ She arches a brow, casual as you please. ] Honesty rarely gets you laid, does it?

[ Odessa's cheeks burn hot with shame, and she looks sick. ]

Tell me, dear, are you still keen on astronomy now that you're among those stars you coveted so fiercely just ten years ago? You thought it would feel like freedom then, didn't you? [ Bella begins to move, one foot in front of the other as though her course is carefully plotted. If Odessa is chaos, then Bella is order. ] How lonely do you feel now? It's everything you ever feared, isn't it? All of this... Your precious sky, your escape, your fresh start, and you're more alone now than you ever were. And what's more than that, you're powerless.

[ Bella stops just within arm's reach and stares at John with unveiled curiosity. ] Tell me something, John. Tell me how this makes you feel. The monster is without her teeth, as you can see. [ Indeed, Odessa seems smaller now, more fragile than he might ever have been able to imagine her, knowing what he knows. ] Does she deserve your pity? Her second chance?

[It didn't seem relevant. Not even before they kissed? Before... His own cheeks are red with embarrassment. He listens to Bella, insanely interested but affronted about the whole situation.

Alone? Powerless? Odessa? He can't imagine it. He looks to Bella when she speaks to him. He's angry and upset and confused.] I don't know.

[He walks a few steps away from them, rubbing a hand across his face. He really doesn't know what to think or how to feel. He doesn't even deserve to feel this confused about their relationship, but he is, he's confused as hell. He turns back to Odessa.] Why are you so afraid of her?

[ She tries to hold him fast, but Odessa just can't find the conviction to grasp his arm tightly enough to keep him from pulling away, and moving along. When he asks his question, she looks helpless and confused. ]

You know why.

[ Odessa turns to look at her wife then. She can't be real, can she? Of course she can't. But she's... helping her. Even now, Bella is helping Odessa understand what she's thinking and feeling. Even when she's hitting every exposed nerve along the way. That is so like her. ] Because she knows me. [ Her heels sound on the ground as she draws up that last bit of distance between them and cups the other woman's face in her hands carefully. ] You know me better than anybody. You know my every little secret, and still you stay. And still you love me.

And still you betray me. [ Those words sting as much as the shallow wound across Odessa's abdomen. ]

I'm sorry, Bella. [ Something passes between them in that moment, something tangible but indescribable, and Odessa's arms fall to her sides again, looking somewhere between defeated, but prepared for something. She isn't left waiting long.

The blow Bella strikes with the back of her hand across Odessa's face is hard, a horrible sound of skin against skin, and Odessa drops to the ground like a sack of bricks, but she doesn't cry out or whimper, but simply presses the heel of her hand to her mouth, and comes away with blood. She doesn't look up when she speaks: ] Thank you.

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