She pales. It's easier to see now, especially when her feathers flatten all at once, and her first thought is the opposite of what usually comes to mind: please don't have seen me. He gets his shield and she just fucking knows, doesn't she? It's the same reason she's been sleeping in the vents again, never in the same space for more than a night, the reason she wakes up not screaming but unable to breathe. Jesse's bed is full now, with no room for her in it, but that doesn't mean the nightmares are over. No.
So what does she say? Oh, I remember Strela, I was there. And did you know that when you rip open a human stomach with their own guts those guts tend to split and the whole room smells like bitter, sick gore? Did you know, James, that a human jawbone clicks when you rip it off and shove it into an eye? Did you know that it's technically possible for someone who doesn't feel pain to try to walk on two broken femurs and that if you let them try they slice open their own arteries? Did you know all that? Because I didn't and I'd do almost anything to not know that again, but see at the time, at the time it seemed like the only thing to do, because when I hate something I hate it all the way down?
No. But she inches closer to him, like he moved to his shield, and the parallel isn't lost on her. Group up, stay safe, have your weapons ready. She was no real threat before, but she had no real allies either, so the idea of being close to someone to stay safe--it's new. And yet it's not. It feels as natural as breath, some human instinct left in her DNA. Stay together.
She covers his hand with her own. Just--to make sure. He's there.
"Yeah. I--I was out of it. In the waiting room. Sort of--well, I blew up my ear. Or they did. Assholes." They're fine. They're both here and they're fine and she's fine and it's fine, all of it, because it has to be. "I--fuck, I didn't--if I'd known you were in there I would've come and found you."
no subject
So what does she say? Oh, I remember Strela, I was there. And did you know that when you rip open a human stomach with their own guts those guts tend to split and the whole room smells like bitter, sick gore? Did you know, James, that a human jawbone clicks when you rip it off and shove it into an eye? Did you know that it's technically possible for someone who doesn't feel pain to try to walk on two broken femurs and that if you let them try they slice open their own arteries? Did you know all that? Because I didn't and I'd do almost anything to not know that again, but see at the time, at the time it seemed like the only thing to do, because when I hate something I hate it all the way down?
No. But she inches closer to him, like he moved to his shield, and the parallel isn't lost on her. Group up, stay safe, have your weapons ready. She was no real threat before, but she had no real allies either, so the idea of being close to someone to stay safe--it's new. And yet it's not. It feels as natural as breath, some human instinct left in her DNA. Stay together.
She covers his hand with her own. Just--to make sure. He's there.
"Yeah. I--I was out of it. In the waiting room. Sort of--well, I blew up my ear. Or they did. Assholes." They're fine. They're both here and they're fine and she's fine and it's fine, all of it, because it has to be. "I--fuck, I didn't--if I'd known you were in there I would've come and found you."