Arthur Pendragon (
king) wrote in
ataraxionlogs2012-11-30 02:52 pm
Entry tags:
closed.
CHARACTERS: Arthur Pendragon & Merlin.
LOCATION: Twelfth floor, Merlin's room.
WARNINGS: Nope.
SUMMARY: Arthur is discontent, Merlin gets the brunt of it.
LOCATION: Twelfth floor, Merlin's room.
WARNINGS: Nope.
SUMMARY: Arthur is discontent, Merlin gets the brunt of it.
[ It's been about three weeks, and the learning curve has been sharp. Arthur's only just reaching the point where he's beginning to be able to separate the need-to-know information from the, well, people are going to try to instruct him but it doesn't really matter sort. Such as space radiation. He can't fight it, there's very little he can do about it, and therefore he chooses not to dwell. Unlike others he could mention. ]
[ Merlin's chambers are exactly the same as his, but Arthur quite likes spending time in them, if only because the presence of the other reminds him of home. Of course, the moment he walks in (without knocking; giving Merlin a taste of his own medicine) he toes at a shirt on the floor with a derisive snort. Hypcrotical, of course: as though he's any less messy when left to his own devices. But honestly, you'd think given he's a servant Merlin's own room would be spotless — just another sign that he's terrible at his job, really. ]
Merlin.
[ He dumps his armful of armour down on the small table, the chore unspoken, and then flops down on Merlin's bed as though he's going to stick around and watch him polish it. Not actually the most interesting activity, given Merlin seems to go into an embarrassing sort of commune with it, but he needs something to do or else he's going to go mad turning everything over in his own mind. ]
[ The upcoming "jump". Science and magic. The rubble of Camelot as he'd left it in the wake of the dragon's attack. Bloody — Flobberworms. Arthur's got plenty to be preoccupied by, and none of it's pleasant. ]
[ Merlin's chambers are exactly the same as his, but Arthur quite likes spending time in them, if only because the presence of the other reminds him of home. Of course, the moment he walks in (without knocking; giving Merlin a taste of his own medicine) he toes at a shirt on the floor with a derisive snort. Hypcrotical, of course: as though he's any less messy when left to his own devices. But honestly, you'd think given he's a servant Merlin's own room would be spotless — just another sign that he's terrible at his job, really. ]
Merlin.
[ He dumps his armful of armour down on the small table, the chore unspoken, and then flops down on Merlin's bed as though he's going to stick around and watch him polish it. Not actually the most interesting activity, given Merlin seems to go into an embarrassing sort of commune with it, but he needs something to do or else he's going to go mad turning everything over in his own mind. ]
[ The upcoming "jump". Science and magic. The rubble of Camelot as he'd left it in the wake of the dragon's attack. Bloody — Flobberworms. Arthur's got plenty to be preoccupied by, and none of it's pleasant. ]

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[As for Merlin, he has fewer chores on board the Tranquility. There's no stables to muck out, little...things clean the floors, and there are even machines that do the laundry (though one of Arthur's tunics does fit a little tighter than usual thanks to a little trial and error of Merlin learning how to use them). When he arrived, Merlin worried about what he would do to fill up his days.]
[Okay, 'worried' might be a strong word for it. But as it turns out, Arthur is still finding ways to make demands on his time, if only by criticizing his unmade bed or bringing him his armour to polish, even when it's not dirty from the day before.]
Arthur, I was-
[But it doesn't really matter what he was doing at that table, now does it. Merlin sighs and gets his polishing cloth. He can see smudges on the vambrace.]
What's wrong?
[Merlin pauses when he sees Arthur's expression, the cloth held in both hands as he sits back down.]
You look like someone just told you that your birthday's been cancelled.
[Not such a big deal for Merlin, but he's poured wine at a couple of Arthur's celebrations.]
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[ He hadn't even been thinking about his upcoming birthday, but now that Merlin mentioned it, it was actually supposed to be quite soon. Though he hadn't been keeping good record of the days passed since his arrival. This would be the first since he was very young that it was not a big day. There would be no tournament, no jugglers, no acrobats, no feast, and no visit to the tombs below the castle where his mother's body lay interred. ]
Thank you, Merlin, for that thoroughly depressing reminder.
[ A scowl, and he tries to put the thought from his mind, but it stays alongside all the other stains of circumstance which darken his mood. ]
I'm fine.
[ Because that phrase can always be taken at face value between the two of them, of course. ]
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No you're not. And you're going to give yourself indigestion if you keep things bottled up.
[Listen to your mother, Arthur. For a moment Merlin is rubbing that armour like he thinks it'll spit out a genie, but he looks over at the prince.]
So what is it?
[Softer this time.]
Are you worried about Camelot? Missing your father?
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[ It's the kind of no that is actually a yes, obviously. He's not going to admit to such childish homesickness, of course, even couched in the more adult worry of a prince for his kingdom. ]
It's just...
[ He huffs, looks up at Merlin, whose blue eyes are always so open and honest. It must be nice, he thinks sourly, to have no guile and no responsibilities weighing on the heart. But Merlin has demonstrated a surprising ability to be a good listener, when Arthur needs it, so he holds back on saying that it's nothing. ]
That woman, talking about science and magic. Do you think she's right?
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I miss Gaius. And Gwen.
[Because Arthur isn't depressed enough without Merlin mentioning her name. But he does miss them, and it seems only natural to him to say so.]
You mean River Song?
[He's not forgetting a name like that. It sounds like poetry! But Merlin turns in his chair, the armour ignored. Because he's surprised to find that that conversation is even a part of what's weighing on Arthur's mind.]
Oh, I don't know. I was told that she's wrong.
[By a wizard. But it's probably best not to mention that. He studies Arthur for a long moment, something almost hopeful in his face. Merlin finally forces himself to turn away, his posture stiff as he halfheartedly resumes his chore.]
I suppose she could be. I thought the showers were magic when I first arrived. Turns out they're just plumbing. Do you think she's right?
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I don't know either.
[ He's not certain he trusts the young man who told Merlin that she was wrong, either. ]
But if they're the same thing...
[ No. It's too ingrained, his prejudice, to speak it aloud just yet. To question his father, and wonder if what they've been persecuting has been anything more than what they don't understand. ]
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Weren't exactly the only ones who were confused. Seems like everyone's answer was different from the last.
[And it's strange for Merlin to think of his magic that way, as something scientific and not so different from what Gaius practices every day. But science is just laws of nature, and nothing is more natural for him than magic. His life would be so much easier if it were true.]
Either way, I think she made a good point. People fear what they don't understand. Perhaps...
[Merlin presses his lips together so hard that they lose their color and practically disappear. But he can't leave his words unsaid.]
Perhaps if we were sorcerers we'd see things from a different perspective.
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[ But Merlin doesn't look as though he's joking. ]
[ Immediately Arthur starts to lecture him. ]
It's not about fear. Magic is an unnatural corruption in the order of things, which is science. But if they're one and the same, how can magic be treated differently from any other advancement?
[ And that's the question at the heart of it. Because treated differently is something of an understatement, when his father has executed hundreds of men and woman and children for having magic. Sometimes barbarically, yes, and Arthur can't condone that, but his father has always ruled harshly, and it is not his place to question that. The law is, in the end, the law. ]
[ Arthur flops backwards onto Merlin's bed, still turning it over. ]
But how is it that some men are sorcerers and others are not? If it is merely some — some trick of advanced science, where did they learn it? Gaius is a scientist and —
[ But hadn't Aradean, and his father himself, said Gaius was once a sorcerer? Arthur falls silent again. ]
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[Merlin's heart is pounding in his chest. This is a conversation that he's only dreamed of having with Arthur. But he knows how careful he must be, the damage he could do with a few wrong words. It's like a physical weight on his shoulders.]
Gaius has left such practices behind a long time ago.
[Maybe that's what he needed, because Merlin's voice is suddenly sharper when he speaks of the old man, protective. He gives the cloth a toss onto the table and turns to face Arthur fully.]
How is that you're so good at fighting when others aren't? Yes, you've been trained since birth. But aren't some men just naturally a little faster? A little stronger? You're gifted. Anyone who's seen you fight would have to admit as much. Maybe those born with magic are just gifted in a different way.
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[ His tone is more an allowance than agreement, to demonstrate he's listening to Merlin rather than ignoring what he's saying simply because Merlin couldn't know what he's talking about. It's not poor reasoning, either. But then, for all his lack of education and courtly graces and for all his general buffoonery, Merlin could have a sort of intuition about him at times. He'd make a good advisor someday, if he applied himself to learning the way that Gaius had. (In Arthur's opinion that's what advisors are for, to have read all the books he doesn't have time for.) ]
I don't know that I'd call it a gift.
[ Corrupting influence or not, it never exactly seemed pleasant to be a magic user. ]
And those contradict each other. If magic is the workings of natural universe that we simply don't understand, then like any science it has to be studied, surely.
[ But then he doesn't think he's gifted either: that undermines all the work he's done over the years. He picks at a scab on his thumb, clearly still unhappy wrangling with the problem. ]
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[Merlin watches him struggle with it, like a coin spinning before it falls on one side or the other. He starts drumming his fingers nervously against the edge of the table, the sound unnaturally loud in the silence. Merlin stops it when he realizes what he's doing, and before he speaks.]
At the very least, magic and science can coexist. It does here.
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I can't tell one from the other here, really.
[ Every time Arthur thinks he's started to find equilibrium in his knowledge of the ship, something new comes flying out of nowhere. ]
Space radiation and tacos and Flobberworms and showers and toasters and Jump Cycles and curses... I've had about enough of all of it.
[ And it's right back around to being homesick again. He looks over at Merlin, and feels a little sympathetic, because it's obvious something's bothering him, too. He's got that antsy, hunted look about him that seems extrordinarily melodramatic for simply missing Gaius, but then, Merlin did tend to overreact to things. ]
All right. Your turn.
[ Arthur's still looking at him consideringly, pushing up onto an elbow. ]
Out with it.
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[Merlin doesn't know that one, isn't sure he wants to know. After the wildren, he doesn't trust Arthur to tell him the truth anyway. There's a quick averting of his eyes when the question is turned back on him, and it's as if the blinds that give a glimpse to what's going on inside him have been drawn closed.]
I'm just worried about what's going to become of us.
[Even if it's not really what's on his mind, it's not a lie either. The ship still feels strange and ominous nearly a month later. Getting them back home is beyond his power. There's no way to move forward with his destiny.]
I'm going to start training with a sword. So I can help.
[Merlin sounds a little unhappy about it. But it's more that every strange aboard this ship can talk to Arthur about magic and he can't.]
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[ Arthur scoffs, looks at him with the same dubious amusement he'd held when Merlin had stood forth to face the dragon with him. He'd held a sword then, too, and hadn't been as totally incompetent with it as when he first came to Camelot, which, all right, probably wasn't saying much. ]
[ He kicks out a leg, pokes Merlin's shin with his foot, somewhere between cheer up and get back to work. ]
I was considering finding someone to teach me how to use a gun. They seem to be the weapon of choice aboard the ship.
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[Last time he checked, at least. Merlin turns in his chair and picks up Arthur's helmet. He holds it up, using it as a mirror to look at himself and Arthur behind him before he gets back to polishing.]
A gun?
[To be honest, Merlin doesn't know anything about guns. Weapons just don't have the same appeal for him.]
I think you'd be better off with your own sword. A weapon you're familiar with.
[Merlin glances back over his shoulder, a little bit of a smile finally on his lips.]
Then again, if these guns don't require sharpening, I'm all for it.
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[ he's mocking merlin, of course. the idea of someone else teaching merlin rankles him, a little bit. because what happens when merlin inevitably injures himself? or them, and gets in trouble? who'll be his servant then? arthur isn't sure he should allow it. ]
[ it's not as though he could succeed, surely. after all, arthur had tried and failed, and he's an excellent trainer and commander. the thought that he may not be the best is, well, displeasing to say the least. ]
I'm hardly going to give up the sword. I'd just prefer to expand my capabilities. Guns have range — and no, no sharpening. Though I'm given to believe they do require a polish on occasion.
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[Merlin pauses in his current task, lifting his head thoughtfully.]
You know, I bet he'd let you train with him, especially if you asked nicely.
[And for all Merlin was just talking about taking care of a virtual stranger's weapons, he still makes a face and mutters when Arthur mentions the maintenance of his own.]
If magic does turn out to be science, maybe you should learn that. I wouldn't have to polish you.
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[ Arthur doesn't exactly seem excited about the possibility of training with someone, but that's mostly because he's already got his ducks in order there. It has, of course, nothing to do with the fact that he's decided he doesn't like Luke for absolutely no reason. ]
[ At that last comment, he turns his head towards Merlin, flummoxed. ]
I couldn't learn magic, Merlin.
[ Even if it were science and not treason. He says it as though it's obvious, though he doesn't really have a reason for it being so. It's just that... he couldn't. Wouldn't. It would seem too... no, Arthur shakes his head, obviously troubled further by the idea. ]
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[But not for any of the reasons that Arthur's thinking. The idea of Arthur wielding magic though...well, he doesn't have the patience for it. He'd probably turn himself into a toad, and then Merlin would have to scour the gardens for hours every day collecting flies.]
There, finished.
[Merlin inspects his work with a proud little smile. He dares anyone to get armour that shiny without proper polish.]
We're going to have to get back into those tanks soon, aren't we?
[He frowns, folding his arms on the table and resting his chin on them.]
I don't want to.
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[ following that, he stands, inspecting the armour. it is surprisingly well-polished, all things considered. ]
Help me on with it, then.
[ because merlin looks as mopey as arthur feels, which means he ought to be kept busy too. ]
The goo tubes aren't pleasant. But the alternative is less so. Besides, I'm given to understand that people sometimes return home again during a "jump".
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Really?
[The hope and comfort that offers is brief though. Because of course Merlin sees the downside and has to ask about it.]
But what if only one of us gets to go? You know your father would never believe me if I got sent back without you. He'd have me in the stocks just long enough for the executioner to sharpen his ax!
[And the idea of Arthur going back without him? Equally disconcerting.]
Maybe we should get in the same tube.
[Oh, god no.]
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[ Of course, Merlin's suggestion has its own drawbacks. ]
[ Arthur turns his head slowly to fix Merlin with a steady gaze, one eyebrow flicked up, hoping that he's considering the implications of his words. ]
No.
[ He looks away again, lifting an arm for Merlin to armour him. ]
I'm sure it will be quite odd enough, skinning down with everybody else.
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Oh, I'm not skinning down with anyone.
[He circles back around Arthur to pick up the next piece, and this time he's the one giving Arthur the dubious look.]
I'd rather wash that snail slime out of my clothes than undress in front of everyone. They don't even separate the men from the women, it's indecent. No. Just no.
[Merlin shakes his head like a child refusing to take his medicine.]
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Feeling modest, are we?
[ He speaks as though it's an emotion he's unfamiliar with (maybe it is) and gives Merlin a half-smile, a challenging look, and tips his head in the pretense of being bemused. ]
I didn't know country boys could be such prudes.
[ Like he didn't grab himself a towel quick-smart upon arrival. But Arthur, while perhaps a little embarrassed by all that flesh on display, isn't going to ruin his clothes for some outmoded idea of decency. ]
[ Man, that sure is going to come back to bite him in the ass when Gwen shows up. ]
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It's not like that.
[Well, okay, it's a little bit like that. But he can hardly expect Arthur to understand, all golden-skinned and muscled. Merlin's pale and gangly, and while he might accept himself for what he is, that doesn't mean he should just give it away.]
What if the Lady Lucrezia's there? Or that woman with the whip! It's not just about modesty, I might need protection.
[Merlin pauses before making another face at Arthur.]
And we still wear clothes in the country. Peasants aren't animals.
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Come off it. It's not fair if you get to look at them without giving them a show in turn, is it?
[ Whoops, Arthur seems to be encouraging Merlin to take off his clothes. But mostly he's just amused; on his personal scoring system, that particular expression of outrage is worth a good fifty points. ]
It's just bodies, Merlin. I'll admit, it's a little uncivilized, particularly where a lady's modesty is concerned, but worrying about your own just makes you a bit of a girl.
[ He says it airily, teasing, before flicking his eyes deliberately over Merlin. ]
Unless that's the problem.
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[Not that it wasn't nice. Merlin's a sorcerer, but he's still human, a boy, and at an age where his mind would be consumed by such thoughts if he weren't so busy thinking about-]
[Moving on. Merlin hastily picks up a voider.]
And it's not just myself that I'm thinking of. I doubt they want to see me either. I'm not their husband or-
[Wife. By Arthur's teasing accusation. Merlin huffs.]
Fine. But you'll have to dress yourself after Jumps. I'm not going to be standing around with my arse on display any longer than it needs to be.
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Probably best for everyone concerned, really.
[ Arthur isn't too concerned about having to dress himself, since he can manage the bare minimum there. ]
At least stop by my locker and let me know you're alive.
[ A beat, and he straps his own sword, adjusts it, armoured and ready. ]
After getting dressed again, preferably.
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Right.
[He's distracted, taking a step back to look Arthur over. He's an expert in this by now, not about to fail in his destiny because of a lose strap. Merlin sighs after a quick glance, satisfied.]
I think you're all set.
[But that's when his brow draws together.]
For what?
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[ he's already turning to go, but he glances back, slyly smug, to catch merlin's expression: ]
With a demi-god.
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[Merlin's barely repressed smile gives his teasing away though. And then, with more sincerity:]
Good luck Sire.