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ataraxionlogs2012-12-10 10:38 pm
suit) wrote in ataraxionlogs2012-12-10 10:38 pm
Entry tags:
roll away your stone, i'll roll away mine; together we can see what we will find.
CHARACTERS: Peter Burke and Neal Caffrey
LOCATION: Room 013 » 074
WARNINGS: You'll cry tears of blood. No, um, talk about not too pleasant things with Peter and Neal. I'll warn of the exact things as they come up.
SUMMARY: Once upon a time, Neal Caffrey was on the Tranquility without Peter Burke. Neal made some very bad life choices and was changed. This is the story about how he tells the one person he really does trust in the world about them.
NOTES: Takes place after the jump and everything hurts pretty much.
[ eleven months or jumps as neal and everyone had told him. eleven months and neal hadn't seen him once beyond maybe a dream and figment of his imagination. just the idea of it makes peter sick to his stomach, makes it twist and makes him feel almost like he let neal down. their relationship is supposed to exist in a way that is supposed to have him be the rock, the specific thing that is supposed to be there to say not do something or to just pull him back when he's going down that wrong road. ( if the looks of some of the passengers gave him any ideas, oh, he senses neal went down that road because peter was never here to stop him. and peter has to hold back the growl he feels build within him with regards to that. )
eleven months and neal is almost clinging to peter's pant legs and peter can't help but be quietly pleased about it. it shouldn't be that hard to keep track of him if neal is staying in his sight like with such ease. but the downside, because isn't there always something that goes wrong with their partnership; the downside comes with how neal calls him Himself before peter has to shake him and tell him that he's actually peter burke. not whoever Himself is. when neal finally realizes it, they don't talk about it. they don't talk about it because i'm covered in blue goo, shower and then we'll talk about it later and peter would normally let it go but eleven months is a long time and peter wants to know what's happened and why tyke had reacted the way she did to neal being around peter like he was. so he says my room and there's no questions because it's not up for negotiation.
they finally get there and now they're in the room and peter waits until neal is sitting on one of the beds and he finds himself sitting on a chair after putting his various items from the other bed and he moves it to be sitting right in front of neal before he speaks. ]
You said we'd talk, now talk. [ and then. ] Big events first and then the other details. Eleven months is a long time.
LOCATION: Room 013 » 074
WARNINGS: You'll cry tears of blood. No, um, talk about not too pleasant things with Peter and Neal. I'll warn of the exact things as they come up.
SUMMARY: Once upon a time, Neal Caffrey was on the Tranquility without Peter Burke. Neal made some very bad life choices and was changed. This is the story about how he tells the one person he really does trust in the world about them.
NOTES: Takes place after the jump and everything hurts pretty much.
[ eleven months or jumps as neal and everyone had told him. eleven months and neal hadn't seen him once beyond maybe a dream and figment of his imagination. just the idea of it makes peter sick to his stomach, makes it twist and makes him feel almost like he let neal down. their relationship is supposed to exist in a way that is supposed to have him be the rock, the specific thing that is supposed to be there to say not do something or to just pull him back when he's going down that wrong road. ( if the looks of some of the passengers gave him any ideas, oh, he senses neal went down that road because peter was never here to stop him. and peter has to hold back the growl he feels build within him with regards to that. )
eleven months and neal is almost clinging to peter's pant legs and peter can't help but be quietly pleased about it. it shouldn't be that hard to keep track of him if neal is staying in his sight like with such ease. but the downside, because isn't there always something that goes wrong with their partnership; the downside comes with how neal calls him Himself before peter has to shake him and tell him that he's actually peter burke. not whoever Himself is. when neal finally realizes it, they don't talk about it. they don't talk about it because i'm covered in blue goo, shower and then we'll talk about it later and peter would normally let it go but eleven months is a long time and peter wants to know what's happened and why tyke had reacted the way she did to neal being around peter like he was. so he says my room and there's no questions because it's not up for negotiation.
they finally get there and now they're in the room and peter waits until neal is sitting on one of the beds and he finds himself sitting on a chair after putting his various items from the other bed and he moves it to be sitting right in front of neal before he speaks. ]
You said we'd talk, now talk. [ and then. ] Big events first and then the other details. Eleven months is a long time.
no subject
so he fusses with his cuffs, unbuttoning and rebuttoning and smoothing the fabric, staring down at the wrist his nanite tattoo is on intensely before buttoning everything again and looking up. ] Broad subjects there, Peter.
[ he's stalling. ]
Anything a little more specific?
no subject
but neal has spent so long acting like he's got a foot in the door peter props open for him and one foot out of it that to have him so close worries him. it's almost as if he thinks peter is going to disappear. ( if only he knew. ) peter doesn't let his eyes focus anywhere but neal while he fiddles with his cuffs and when neal finally refocuses on him, peter can't help but raise an eyebrow. you're stalling it says because no one knows neal caffrey better than peter burke. ]
It's a broad time frame. [ maybe he's playing a game, maybe not. ]
You really want me to be specific?
no subject
he licks his lips, swallows. it's the worst tells in the world but seeing peter is like being stripped clean with sandpaper; sure, he's cleansed but he's raw, bleeding and open. ] Eleven months is a long time.
[ peter's words given back to him, repackaged as a warning. things change, and he's never been strong enough to stand alone. he cannot be, has never been able to be, anything but the man he was born to become. ] I do.
[ his lips quirk into a bleak smile. ] God help me, but I'd love that.
no subject
it's a tell and an obvious one and it makes peter worry even more. because neal doesn't give him obvious tells. he makes peter work for them. it sets peter on edge because what happened to you. ] So is four years.
[ because hadn't it been almost three that they had started this whole deal? god when did they become so old, where did all that time go? the way neal says it adds another worry to the pile because being specific and being neal caffrey doesn't go together.
but peter burke is nothing if but the man who says neal be specific and can prop him up to where he can get out of his own mess. ( faith, he likes to call it. stupidity is what others like to. ) ]
Your friends. I know you well enough to know if you've been here eleven months you have a network of people. [ start him off easy. then they'll move on to Himself. ] Tell me about them. I won't interrogate them. [ yet but at the same time, peter tries to think that maybe his lesson on picking the right people got through. ]
no subject
[ he learned his lessons early and he learned them well; nearly four years of even their relationship can't untrain them all.
space is vast, and neal waited but he's never ever been all right with being alone. ]
I'm not the ringleader of the black market, if that's what you're asking. [ a tiny hint of his old verve, there-- and it's even true. ] But I have friends, you're right. The Irenes-- one you'll love and then hate, and then one you're going to tell me is trouble and love anyway. [ because he knows exactly what peter likes, and pretty delicate brunettes with quick minds is heading the list. irene will want to take his measure, the man who's going to so casually lay claim to her darling neal, and she'll find him as delightful as neal does.
(that she won't is unthinkable, even now.) ] Wichita-- before you say it, she was like that long before we met. [ his lips twitch into a grin. ] Jaye.
[ someday when he's annoyed with peter and can bear to have his space, he'll sic jaye on him and watch the results with a space age video camera for posterity. ] Sark you met-- [ sark peter will most certainly not like, but he'll handle that later-- ] and Castiel you'll actually approve of.
...he's an angel of the Lord.
no subject
[ because peter believes neal can change with the right incentive. con men can become like him, you just have to teach them that you get everything with a little work and that even if you can't having friends that don't depend on trades and trickery is always a good thing.
hush now neal, you're not really alone any more. ]
Not a fair stretch. I wasn't here and it looks like this place would have a thriving one. [ it's not an accusation, more a statement, an acknowledge me that if he was it'd be something peter could handle. ] So they're like El then. Might love them both if that's the case. [ he knows exactly what peter likes, but it's the one thing he's obvious about, because it's not something someone can use against him if it's just something that proves he loves his wife. he wants to meet them, see if they're bad for neal, but if they're a friend like mozzie, it's useless to say don't be around them. ]
Parents conceived her there or a slightly amusing alias? And Jaye doesn't get a special note, you don't hang around boring people, Neal.
[ because he's not boring and neither is el or diana or jones. or sara or anyone neal is with sometimes. there has to be something about jaye for neal to latch onto. ] Sark I met and was judged by. I'm not that bad about your passions.
[ and then p a u s e. ]
An angel of the Lord. [ there's a point where neal can probably tell peter is trying to stop down on what he's going to say but it bubbles up with an amused upturn of his lips. ] Does he have wings to go with that title?
no subject
[ it's not a taunt; more mournful, because he was going to tell peter it all someday, he thinks, but things have gotten-- confusing. ]
It's not down to me-- too much responsibility and I'm too selfish by far. I stockpile, I don't sell. [ half true; he's also given away, but that's a closely guarded secret. ] I'm going to remind you about that, after you meet them. [ he will love them, wrong side of the law or not; how could he not? ]
That you'll have to ask her-- and Jaye speaks for herself, you'll see.
[ affectionate, not condescending; she's also his only friend largely on the up and up, save one angel. peter should like that about her. ] Yes-- you are, but I even find that endearing right now. Eleven months is a long time. [ now it's a thank you, tilted sideways. ] He has Latin.
no subject
[ it's the one thing peter truly wants to know more than anything else. maybe if he knew where neal came from he could do more, make it so he can really see the benefits. ]
I want to see that stockpile later. [ because this isn't new york and if they keep a secret like that, it has the potential to wreck every part of them. ] Fair enough, I'd worry you lost your touch if you didn't. [ he can't. but for appearances sake, maybe he'll pretend he doesn't like them. ]
And that make me think just that fact might be why you do.
[ because part of peter thinks neal has to see bits of sara in jaye if that's the case. but he doesn't say it, instead choosing to wait for a full judgment until later. after he's met her. ] And if I eat one of my horrible sandwiches are you going to find that endearing? But you're right, eleven months is a long time.
[ it's an agreement and then: ] Proof enough.
Monthly big things next, Neal. [ it's not a question and it almost seems like an order the way he makes it sound like neal can't lie about this not now. ]
no subject
[ special, he means. linear conversation: even less his thing than usual. but peter keeps up, he always has. ]
It's clothes and books and tie pins-- not priceless art or jewelry, don't-- well. [ neal's mouth twists, half abashed and half... something, close to ashamed but not quite. ] And a certain Raphael, but considering we're in space without a proper authority in sight and the weird ship gave it to me, I really think I should get to keep it.
[ he's wheedling now, because that's what they do; neal cajoles and wheels and deals, trying to drag peter into his scams, and peter... peter has made quick work of knowing when to say yes and when to curb things.
he could just say "i want to have something beautiful" but honesty was a hard won and easily re-lost habit. ]
...half a sandwich. [ he can afford to be magnanimous, after all. ]
Should I start with demons, mutiny, or almost dying of blue? [ or with wandering lost and returning found, but he's hoping to skip that one until peter calls him on it. ]
no subject
[ peter doesn't need to curb neal about the raphael. if they ship gave it to him, it gave it to them and technically no one other than sara wanted it and she wasn't here, ergo nothing to punish him about. though a part of him does slightly bristle and proper authority comment. last he checked, he counted as one. ]
To go along with your angel friend, demons sounds like the best start. I take it that went along with possession. [ oh, he's saving it for the big one. he knows better than to lead straight off with something neal doesn't want to answer. ]
no subject
[ and his anklet, and a key that would open it if it were locked once more; his ankle is uniformly pale, now, not a strip of discoloration to be found. a year is a long time for things to grow back to their original states. ]
He needed people who can speak Latin, and I follow directions nicely when I feel like it. [ a brief pause. ] And for what it's worth, he has a piece of my soul. I don't feel any different; but then again I'm not a believer, and he is. [ with a small grin. ] Somewhat obviously.
The demons were over without a lot of fanfare, in retrospect. The mutiny was the same-- I didn't even participate in that, on either side. [ no, instead he went exploring. perhaps a bad habit-- a first invitation-- given the latest happenings. ] The blue was.
[ his face goes distant for a moment, stricken; he lost too much weight on an already thin frame, out in the wild, and for a moment the stark planes of his face seem gaunt, afraid-- wild himself, in a way he has never been before.
that was first time this space game, this fabulous new place to explore, became truly frightening; he was absolutely certain he would die-- not for the last time and he's not been right yet, but you never forget your first. ] That was something different.
nope gonna use this icon and you cannot stop me.
[ which is mostly the question of the anklet, he supposes, but asking neal right out seems a bit unwise given everything. it's a symbol of him forcing neal to be tethered to him and despite kramer's commentary on neal. a tiny part of peter always does worry that as soon as it's off, there really isn't a reason for neal to keep himself tethered to him. ]
If he wasn't a believer there'd be a bigger problem to deal with. God's angels can't be rebelling against him. It's just not right. [ it's playful, the way he says it, like a joke even though none of this should really be a joke. ]
Mutinies aren't really your style anyway. [ there's a pause and peter takes a good long moment to just look and neal. he's always had a thin frame but he seems even smaller now and peter, in the back of his head can hear el fussing over neal telling him neal, you look like you're skin and bones; eat something and it sends a stab of hurt through peter because el wasn't here and isn't that the worst thing even beyond this.
( they're equal. maybe. ) ] What happened with the blue. What made it different than a demon attack and a mutiny.
[ why did it effect you more? ]
fuck you dude. FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOU
The ship sent me one of Satchmo's leash and collar sets-- I blame Keller for that one-- and... right, one of your awful ties. [ beat. ] Sorry, your ties.
[ sometimes peter can be jollied out of moods; if neal's trying it seems to extend some leeway. it's likely a lost cause here, but may as well try.
and he wants to keep the anklet, desperately and with a fierceness that scares him, a little. ] I'll leave the philosophical discussions to the two of you.
[ he pauses at the question, and sighs before rolling up his sleeve to reveal a stark black 002 clearly labeled. ] I'm second wave, Peter-- the sickness was in. God, wave-- six? No. Midway between seven and eight.
[ rolling his sleev back down, neal uses the chance to compose himself. ] In a lot of cases, the longer you'd been here, the sicker you were. There were a couple close calls from the first jump.
[ and the second, neal among them. ]
that hurt me more than it hurt yoooooou.
Keep the collar. I want the leash back. And if my tie is so awful, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you'll give it to me easily.
[ peter can be jollied out of his moods because he wants to be. it's a reward system, neal tries, he gets rewarded with that. but this time, for once it's one of those times where a reward is something a long time coming.
the truth of the matter is, if he knows about the anklet it'll be neal's to keep. just as long as peter sees it somewhere near him at all times. even if it doesn't work, it's their connection. the sign that even if peter was gone for so long, they're still connected; that neal still is with him as a partner. ] I'll make sure I'll have them with him and regale with you with the stories later.
[ and then he listens, hears about the sickness and a part of him feels scared even if neal is right in front of him. he could have lost neal and not even known and who cares if he couldn't have controlled what was going on. he should have been there.
he doesn't care ( well he does, but not as much as he cares about neal in this moment ) about how close the first wave people came to nearly dying. yes, it would have been tragic had they died, but neal could have— died. and it makes peter's jaw clench before he has to clear his throat. ]
And a few from the second. [ a pause. ] You included.
[ it should be a question, but peter knows better than to word it as such because nothing is easier to answer with a lie than a question peter should know the answer to. ]