embrace the deception learn how to bend your worst inhibition's gonna psych you out in the end

[became]

CHARACTERS: peter burke ( suit ) + jaye ( tumbleweeds ) + neal caffrey ( became )
LOCATION: Second floor kitchens.
WARNINGS: Trolling of FBI agents, waffle irons, Damned Hipsterism.
SUMMARY: Peter said he wanted to meet Jaye. ( backdated to the 10th or so. )
NOTES: "Aw, Caffrey. You made friends!"

[ space waffle mix is not exactly like neal wants it to be, and the near-blueberries aren't the real thing but in the end they're both close enough to be edible.

(so, fantastic for anyone not a picky little hipster fuck.)

he fires off two identical texts. ]

Waffles? Kitchen, my floor.

[ and no warnings, because he sucks at life. ]

Comments

[became]

Do I get a choice in these cookies, or am I chained to the oven like some horrible Lifetime movie? And I took liberties, Jaye. Deviled ham. He eats it like it's an actual food.

[ oh this is the best thing ever, please get weird at her peter. ]

I promised Jaye waffles, I promised you Jaye. Two birds, one stone.

[tumbleweeds]

No one would chain you to the oven, that'd just be a waste. [ She's just going to be blatantly horrible at both of them and see what happens, does that sound good? Sure it does. ]

You have the weirdest thing about food, Neal -- and you promise a lot of things. [ That part doesn't come out quite as carefree as she'd like, a little barb instead; he promised he would come and get her and he didn't. He promised they were on the same team and now Peter's here, so that remains to be seen -- but a reminder never hurts. ] As for the rest...

[ She slips off the counter and is a cat before she hits the ground; small enough not to be a threat, because she doesn't know Peter and would rather not get shot instead of getting waffles. She sniffs at Neal first, checking to see how he's been doing a little more before twining between his legs in a figure-eight, rubbing her little furry body against his ankles (mine). Then she slinks over to Peter, sniffing at his shoes, tail twitching -- and then it's just a jump up to the counter and a shift back like nothing ever happened. ]

Well, at least he used soap.

[suit]

No one is chained to ovens in Lifetime movies. [ Peter why do you know these things? ] And someone might. I've heard of worse.

[ The sad part is that Peter agrees with the barb Jaye makes and before he can entirely stop it, he blurts out. ] He's got a thing about promises, doesn't he? His track record has gotten a little be—

[ There's a moment where Peter just stares as if he's almost unsure that Jaye actually just did what she just did but then he finally makes a move to talk and promptly shuts his mouth. Jaye is a shapeshifter and okay then this isn't creepy at all. When she finally turns back into a human he opens his mouth, once, twice and then proceeds to finally say something. ]

That's what he meant by you speak for yourself. [ A beat. ] I can share.

[ Because spoilers: he's had Satchmo long enough to know what shit like that can mean. ]

[became]

Hey, no. No you two bullying me, I brought her here to torment you.

[ but something held stiff and nervous in neal's frame relaxes, because he knows this one. it's practically a game by now; jones or once and a while diana take his side, peter and his partner shoots them down. it passes time in the van, at least.

shared exasperation is a bonding habit he's used to by now, as is the way jaye twines around his ankles; he grins at peter, winking. ]

I told you. [ and now his own pause. ] ...I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I was the proverbial infant from Solomon's story.

[ which means: YEEEEEEEEEEES I AM THE PRETTIEST PRINCESS FIGHT OVER ME MORE DO IT. ]

[tumbleweeds]

Hey, hey. I am an equal opportunity tormentor, and I came here for waffles.

[ She sounds distracted as she says it though, thoughtfully studying the scene. She's not the best with people, definitely not the best with words -- Neal is from a completely different world, and she gets the feeling that Peter's from a different one too (not the same as Neal, not quite, but different -- stiffer, somehow, more regulated). Then there's her, and she frowns a little, checks her nails before letting her ego take over, cockiness coming up like a shield. ]

You should see what else I can do. [ Her tongue flicks out in the next instant, forked like a snakes. ] And Neal, please. You're a grown manchild. Next to you some of the gods look down right respectable -- and that includes the time Eros got fucked up and kept hitting the wrong people with the wrong arrows.

[ Oh, she didn't mention the god thing, did she Peter? Whoops. ]