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CHARACTERS: Nepeta and Meowiarty
LOCATION: Moriarty's room
WARNINGS: i literally don't know NOTHING?
SUMMARY: Nepeta makes poor life choices and makes friends with terrible people. Yes, let's discuss god tier with a psychopath, this will go well.
NOTES: after Moriarty pings her after the jump

At an ungodly hour, a girl sneaks through the halls of the ship.

As much as it pains her to do so, Nepeta does have to pry herself away from Equius at least some of the time. It gives her a sick feeling in her heart to be away from him now that they're finally together again, just like she told him. But his presence is part of the reason why she has to be so sneaky. What if he disapproves of her meeting a guy from the internet in his room in the middle of the night? What could go wrong?

(There are reasons why she needs him as a moirail. This is one of them.)

Nepeta does her best to be as quiet and discreet as possible. It's a challenge, since the lifts and open halls don't provide a whole lot of options for hiding, but she manages to make her trek without running into anyone. So basically she's going to a strange adult man's room in the middle of the night and no one knows that she's doing this or where she is.

What a flawless plan. Ten points for Nep.

There is no uneasiness as she stares up at the numbers 005 091. Her stomach is flipping out of sheer excitement. She knows the man known as "S" only by words on a screen--something she's more than used to--but to meet him in a person is a whole 'nother level. The fact that he's been so secretive about his identity makes her all the more curious about who this guy really is.

And you know what they say about curiosity and cats.

She knocks lightly, adding in a hushed tone, "Special delivery fur Mr. S!"

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Not in, I'm afraid.

[ And there's that man being awfully polite behind her. Waiting for the visitor to finish their knock and hush-hush before stepping at the door as if it were his, and indeed, it is. In his arms are plates, bread with che— ]

Cheese on toast. Apologies, little time, little imagination.

[ A head dip in greeting as he strides along inside, bending to gently bump her along. Go in, go in!

A chain-reaction of movements: Placing their substitute finger-foods on the table, scooting in a chair for his guest, cleaning and picking at his hands for crumbs. He does toss Nepeta a small smile, met for friendliness although smiles are not quite his best, disguises or not. Simply Richard spending his time preparing in the kitchen and a Consulting Criminal right here, right now.

The mystery of one James Moriarty, Richard Brook, and Mr. S being exactly the same, solved in one statement: ]

Tea is waiting, I'll be Meowther.

[ But not Mrs. Nesbit, never her. ]

[ She jumps, tail flicking in surprise, but she quickly smiles when she sees who it is. ]

I know you!

[ It's blurted in excitement. Their meeting is a vague memory, but she can't forget a great name-pun like Meowiarty. Nep looks like she's about to hug him. Luckily she checks herself before she can wreck herself. By that I mean she regains composure and resists the impulse as she's guided to a seat. ]

Er, I mean. It's a pleasure to finally meet the man behind the screen. Don't worry, I can keep a secret.

[ She winks. Obviously Nep isn't deterred by his subpar smile. Taking some food nomnom. ]

Thank you fur the hospitality. I was going to bring you a nice pelt as a gift, but finding monstrous creatures is so hard in space!

[ ahahahahaha she isn't kidding. ]

[ There's a brief moment where the toast hangs in his mouth while shuffling around. This and that! Oh, things to do! Things to die! It's a busy life as a criminal, but more proudly, a Consulting Criminal.

And then there's Nepeta. He finally sits across from his guest and gives the snack a satisfying crunch. ]

A pelt? Well, manticores can be nasty, sneaky devils. Everyone has been raving about them, haven't you heard?

[ Gossip, gossip, gossip!

And then there's Nepeta. Right, he's actually pouring his tea for her. ]

How do you like your sugar?

[ She frowns for a minute. There isn't much sadness, not really--she wasn't too close to the latest victims (unlike Sherlock)--so it's more the frown of when a distant relative dies. Unfortunate, but the fleeting sadness comes more from seeing other people mourn. ]

Oh I've heard, even tried to go after them. This is their territory though, they know it much better than I do. So furustrating! Especially when they're causing so much harm.

[ Sighs, shrugs. Can't dwell too much on such things like this. Best to perk back up and carry on. Tea is a good motivator to bring that smile back.

And sugar. Her grin grows wider as memories are stirred up of golden skies and teapots on top of mountains. ]

I prefur my sugar in little cubes stacked so high that they create an intricate landscape with valleys that have rivers of tea at the basin.

[ Her tail flicks as she picks out a few lumps of sugar to put in her cup. ]

We each got our own purrsonal worlds in the game we played. Mine was Land of Little Cubes and Tea. [ Just let the glory of the acronym sink in, Moriarty. Embrace it. ] Better than Eridan's planet, Land of Wrath and Angels. He kept trying to get us to come visit him but he kept shooting the angels and making them angry! Even I didn't want to get near those things.

[ Nepeta can get a little chatty when it comes to her universe and its experiences. Since Moriarty invited her, she just hopes that he'll find it interesting rather than crazy or just outright strange. It's a shame more don't listen. There's so much to learn from their story!

(Like how to do things right. That's the whole point of guiding John and Dave and Rose and Jade, right? To make sure they don't make the same mistakes. Make sure they succeed where they'd failed.) ]

[ And he supposes that's what he may like about her. Although simplicity, he appreciates it. Sure, there's an odd twist to it. Perhaps in such a way that he would be giving her a pat on the head and send her on her way with some fish. It's difficult to be given respect, definitely by someone like Jim Moriarty.

But he accepts this simplicity.

( And he's still approaching the term 'friendship,' so very odd. Never seems to work out, does it? )

Yet, here they are. There is an almost natural smile to the number of sugars she shoots in. Mentally counting. ]

My, very different than I've ever heard.

[ A polite sip. Did he put any sugar in there? ]

'Land of Little Cubes and Tea?' I would say 'you don't mean literally, I know you don't,' but that is an assumption.

And assumptions are the worst around here, aren't they?

[ On Alternia, friendship is synonymous with the concept of enemies. Maybe Moriarty was simply born on the wrong planet. (Let's be honest, it's probably a though that's occurred to the people who interact with him on a day-to-day basis.)

By now the concoction is probably 60% tea and 40% sugar. To anyone else this might be sickening, but Nepeta doesn't grimace as she takes a sip. Yesss purrfect. ]

Only if assumptions cloud evfurything that follows. Judgements, evidence, that sort of evfurything.

[ Her tone is light and casual, devoid of any frustration. She's used to assumptions. She's even been guilty of it herself, but Nep is also aware of the dangers of only going on assumption alone. (Like how someone would assume that Equius has a hard heart, or that Karkat has no empathy, or that Gamzee's status as the Bard of Rage is a fluke.) ]

I don't blame you fur being skeptical. Sounds fur-fetched, right? Mountains of sugar, whole planets created fur players-- and the game! A game that transcends an electronic medium and into reality, all to serve a grand purrpose and give its players a reward beyond their imaginations.

[ Nepeta smiles wryly. ]

Well, that was the plan, anyway.

[ Oh, right, back on topic. Her grin brightens, sharpening into something mischievous. ]

I would say 'I don't expect you to believe me,' but that would be an assumption. [ shrug ] Plus I figure that we've already been taken from our own universes and put on board a random space ship. After that it's a little easier to believe things that would otherwise be deemed impawsible.

Very true. All very pawsible, around here. [ He offers a small, low chuckle.

But he always it to sink: The difference from one reality to another. What is considered mundane and what is not, well, it's a thrill. He wishes he could read her world like a book. Of course, tales are tales, but these are realities put onto one ship. The world of one Consulting Criminal and one Troll. ]

I believe you, hardly a reason to go playing with me, missy. [ He beats out that fact with a wave around with his toast. What is left of it, anyways. ] As for the 'game,' I'm sensing something bitter in the mention, but you have my attention.

Entirely.

[ Oh Jim, you really know that the way to a girl's heart is through cat puns. She smiles wider and gives a nod of appurroval. Oh yes the puns are transcending the barriers between dialogue and action what now.

What he doesn't know (nor does Nepeta know for that matter) is that their story can be read in a book-- to a point. Crucial details are redacted (marked out in the blood of the person closest to Nepeta) (~~probably by his murderer~~ ;o) ), leaving gaping holes that can only be filled by theories and patience.

Then again Moriarty loves a challenge, doesn't he?

Too bad the tome is in the hands of someone outside their session. Outside any known session. A little trickier to acquire than crown jewels.

Unaware of all this, Nepeta grins. Always good to have a captivated audience to her stories. ]

And I appurreciate your attention entirely! Beclaws you see, this game isn't a typical fantasy people play fur fun. It's a crucial part of reality, and believe me, the consequences fur playing were astronomical, let alone fur losing. As I said befur, players are meant to serve a grand purrpose.

[ She pauses briefly to take a drink and build suspense, not too long as to bore him but long enough to feel like her friend--and she has no qualms claiming Moriarty as a friend even if he wavers at the label--will hang on her words.

And then she looks up. ]

A successful session creates a brand new universe. The players' planet is destroyed in correlation to beginning the game, but if you win, you are allowed entry into the universe you created.

So,

[ Now it's his turn to tune in. He's eyes are very wide, somewhat bright, as it is difficult for those eyes to appear like a blessing, but something unholy. His hands are laced together, digits drumming in anticipation.

He's being fed information, something of a tale, and actually enjoying it. ]

what you call a 'game' is in-fact not so much of a game as it is a terrible reality. 'Games' are fun, you see? That just seems all very... hm, grim. But nothing against the twist of a definition.

[ And he places a frown in place, but a smile tickles back. He does it all the time. ]

Now, may I ask where you are placed in this elaborate game? [ A beat. ] Where you were before arriving here, now telling me and enjoying tea?

[ I'm never going to stop picturing this. Unholy indeed. ]

There were fun parts, don't get me wrong! I refur to it as a game beclaws it is a game, at least as fur as its mechanical components go. It required servers, sessions, coding... lots of other computer-type stuff. Sollux was the one who made it from some technology. I'm afuraid I can't elaborate since I'm not sure how he did it.

[ She looks down into her tea. ]

Not that you aren't right, too. There were some rather grim components.

[ But such is life. Nothing to do but shrug and move on, which she does. ]

My furiends and I had finished the game. Technically. We didn't win, really. We couldn't enter the universe we had created beclaws of... extenuating circumstances, the full extent of which is a bit hazy to me.

[ A fleeting look in directed toward Moriarty as she struggles to really convey this part of the tale. Nepeta busies herself with taking a bite of cold toast before continuing. ]

It's a little hard to explain. But when I say we finished, I mean that we were successful in creating a new universe, and a purrticular planet, in turn, started its own session of the game. Us trolls are trying to help these people to succeed where we didn't.

[ Ah, now we're getting back on track. Her eyes light up and her lips curve into a smile around the rim of her teacup. ]

I purrsume you've heard of Earth, right?

[ It's always impressive how the girl can easily shrug that off. ]

Definitely kept you on your feet, I see. [ Very different than the routine of life. Eat, sleep, etc. That et cetera definitely branches out, but he can still admit the lack of satisfaction every once in a while.

The boredom.

( But there's nothing to envy in that game, is there? )

He restrains from the look you might give a dim child, assuming there is a point to this question. ]

Of course. [ Squinting upwards in 'thought.' ] Earth.

Cats always land on their feet. [ She couldn't resist okay.

Nor does she comment on his expression. He's a hard one to read; Nepeta can never tell if he's genuine or if she's mocking her. (Which wouldn't be new experience; most of her friends have insulted or talked down to her at some point.)

So she just decides that it's easier to assume he's honest with the way he's presenting himself. (Moriarty did warn her about assumption though...) In her mind he's probably no worse than Terezi: a two-sided coin, one good and one not-so-good, with a sharp smile that could either signal friendship or an imminent noose around your neck.

Since she's fallen into the "friendship" category with Terezi, Nepeta is confident that she's done the same with her dear Meowiarty.

Still she bites her lip to hold back a laugh as he ~ponders~ about Earth. ]

Thought so. That's where the humans I knew back in my own universe were from. A human universe, so it were.

[ Casually she leans in to pour herself some more tea. ]

That was the universe we made. Of course, I have no idea if that means your version Earth was created by proxy--the propagation of reality is a complicated matter, after all--but I wouldn't be surpurrised if there was some evidence of us in your universe as well.

[ Nepeta mimics Moriarty, though she's actually looking up in thought. ] Technically that makes me a god. Pawsibly one of your gods. Too bad we didn't get the oppurrtunity to enter the human universe. It would've been nice to see Earth's history unfold in its entirety.

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gross late omg

story of my life tbh