we're building it up [closed]

[lacksgrace]

CHARACTERS: jo (swedge) & bells (lacksgrace)
LOCATION: corridors around 015 » 048
WARNINGS: language, stuff, idek right now
SUMMARY: bells is a little more than pissed jo's avoiding him. after this & this & dramaaaa basically


[ He thinks he's done pretty good about giving her space. Granted, it hasn't even been that long, but he's not actually counting. They'd just gotten her back anyway, so he doesn't need any of this i'm mad, gonna stay mad and not talk to anyone behavior right now. He feels like he's fucked up, not sure how or why, and that's enough to keep him waiting for her.

She has to come around some time, and he's stepped back a little, half hidden in some of the shadow cast along the corridor with his arms crossed. He'll wait there all damned night (day?) if he has to. But he doesn't, which is both relieving and unnerving.

Bells steps out and grabs her by the arm, a bit defensive in case she actually decides to punch him. He knows better, but he really just can't get it through his head to care. ]

I need to talk to you, and you're not gonna ignore me this time.

Comments

[swedge]

[ jo's been ignoring just about everyone she knows from home at this point. sam, unintentionally, mostly because she doesn't know he knows. dean and cas? definitely. and then there's bells, who if she really thought about it she shouldn't be avoiding. but she is, because he's a part of it and he just reminds her of how mad she is at everyone else.

so she avoids them like the plague, working all the time and ducking out if she notices any of them coming into the bar. besides that, she's spending all of her time by herself, trying to act as if she hadn't found out what she did as she plans.

when bells jumps her (not literally) in the hallway, her fist balled up and ready to fly. but she sees who it is before she throws the punch, and instead immediately jerks her arm out of his hand, the anger rearing up in her again. ]

Yeah? And what are you going to do about that? [ and then she's trying to move past him further on into the hallway. ]

[lacksgrace]

[ Nope. Not happening. He does this when he doesn't want to face whatever's going on in his head, and he isn't going to let Jo get away with it. Not without an answer or two. Bells starts after her immediately, reaching out to grab her arm again.

If he needs to use force, he will. She should know that by now. ]

Whatever I have to. [ Not entirely aggressive just yet, but he's glaring at her. ] What the fuck is going on, Jo?

[swedge]

[ and again, she jerks away. but instead of continuing on down the hall she does stop this time, sending a just as bad if not worse glare right back. was that a threat? no, she doesn't think so, but close enough for her to be on her guard. defensive. ]

The fuck do you think? [ she breathes out of her nose for a moment, giving him a chance to try and think before she continues. ] You get on my case about hunting monsters, just for me to find out you're buddy buddy with the demon that killed me?

[lacksgrace]

[ So they're going to do this right here. Okay. Bells steps into her space, ignoring that look in an effort to swallow the anger that's building under his skin. ]

I was just asking. All the stuff we've been through, and you think you'd have mentioned something like that. [ But it's not what has him staring hard at her. ] Are you even listening to what you're saying, Jo? Dammit. I talked to her a few times. That doesn't exactly make us friends.

You think I would've said anything to her if I'd known?

[swedge]

[ it's saying something that the space doesn't bother her. that as soon as he's there she's just leaning closer, trying to make her glare darken. ]

I told you that I didn't want to talk about it. I'm dead, that's great, the details aren't really important. Well- weren't. [ and that makes her laugh, her eyebrows shooting up before her eyes themselves start to roll. ] She's a demon, Bells, you shouldn't be talking to her at all. No one should. She should be exorcised and sent back to Hell and that's it.

[ which, okay, yes she's acting really immature about this whole thing. but as far as jo's concerned she has reason. bells is her friend and shouldn't be talking to meg at all. ]

[lacksgrace]

[ But they are important. At least, they're important to him, and that's saying a lot considering how little he tends to care. This is on an entirely different level though; he's protected her, looked for her, missed her, bled for her. It matters. ]

I know she is. It's why I decided to keep talking to her. [ And he needs to explain that, so he's locking his hand around her upper arm to keep her still and keep her close. ] I thought it'd help get things straight, you know? I spent a long time in Hell, and guess what? Demons outnumber everything except the souls put there. It's what I'm used to.

[ Even if that's as close as he's ever going to get to admitting he sort of misses being there, it's not an excuse. His grip tightens, and he's looking at her like he's trying to find something in the hate he sees there. Understanding maybe. He swallows hard. ]

I asked her what happened. I know what she did to you. And exorcising her isn't gonna change that.

[swedge]

Are you serious? [ and that's when jo tries to jerk away from him again. she'd run, if she could. she's tired of having these conversations, of getting mad and finding out everyone she's trusted doesn't seem to care. ] She killed me, Bells. I'm dead because of her and you're just going to keep talking to her because it's what you're used to?

[ her hand goes to his wrist to try and pry him off her. there are flashes of the last time this happened, but then again, this time they're at least clothed. jo does dig her nails into his wrist when he talks about how it won't change anything. ]

I don't care what it will change. She's a fucking demon and doesn't belong here. What about the girl she possessing? What about all the other people she's killed? I'm going to exorcise her because I actually have the chance, and that's it.

[lacksgrace]

[ That's not how it's going to be, not with him. He hates that he needs to overpower her too, using his other hand to grab the one trying to push him away to hold her still. Bells has always been bad explaining what he wants to say, and the fact this is happening just like every other time... ]

Stop it, Jo. Fuck. Listen to me. [ He's mad now, having tried to be passive about all of this. If he's honest, he doesn't care about Meg. They're not close, and he would never betray Jo like that. ] I can't let you do something stupid. You don't know what's gonna happen if you do. You said it yourself--she's a demon. What if she hurts you instead, huh?

[ He's pushing her, edging her back so she's cornered against a wall. ] I can't keep losing you.

[swedge]

No. [ it's the fact he can over-power her so easily that has her writhing even harder. if she really wanted to get away, she'd probably start kicking, but at this point she just doesn't want to feel trapped. being pushed up against the wall isn't help, and she looks up at Bells with such a glare. as dark of one she can muster. ]

So? What does it matter? I'm getting my revenge now and that's it. I don't care what you or anyone else says.

[ because right now? she's feeling pretty alone in this. cas has gone off the deep end and dean is taking his side and jo is done. done with them all. ]

That's not really your choice, now is it? [ and then her eyes change, look a little more desperate than angry, and she stops trying to get out of his grip. just long enough to look at him, so he can see how serious she is about this. ] I'm going to do this Bells. I've made up my mind.

[lacksgrace]

[ Revenge. The word tears through him quick and hard, so fast that he drops his hands away from her. Bells doesn't move though, watching her face and trying to figure out just what it is she's saying. He knows what she's feeling though, knows that if anyone from back home - especially his brother - showed up, he'd tear them apart without even thinking. He doesn't know why he's defending someone he hardly even knows over someone he's grown to care so much for. He doesn't get a damn thing anymore. ]

Jo, I-- [ He bites his lip and kind of deflates, and the next time he touches her, it's the barest skim of his fingers over her arm. ] Okay.

[ What else is he supposed to say to that? ]

I'm not gonna stop you. If you think killing her will fix everything, go ahead and do it. Just know that whatever you do, you have to live with it. Here. This ship sucks, but it's the closet thing to home for — [ He bites his tongue so hard he almost tastes blood. Bells swallows, voice quiet. ] And you matter, you know. You matter to me.

[swedge]

[ jo doesn't really know what she was expecting with how much she was trying to escape, but when his hands just drop away like that, maybe she should question it. maybe, but she doesn't, because that anger is still boiling up under the surface of her skin. she rubs her hand over the area where he'd been holding her, just breathing for that moment of downtime before her eyes shoot back to him. ]

What, Bells? Wha- [ okay. the contrast between how tightly he'd been grabbing her before compared to the light skim now almost makes her shiver. she doesn't, though, just lets that fury seep out of her a little. okay. okay. he's not going to fight her. and without that opposing force, a lot of jo's fight just leaves.

she holds onto as much of the look as she can, but the real power behind it is gone. ] I'll live with it. [ her voice is stern, but not angry. not anymore. when he tries to talk about home she just shakes her head. ] Stop, I don't- [ that's not what she wants to hear right now. not because it's bells or deep or just too much of everything to handle, but because she just can't. ] I know, okay? But I have to do this. [ and finally she looks back up to him, more torn open that she has for this entire conversation so far. there's a vulnerability there that she can feel, and she sets her jaw as if she can push it away through the grind of her teeth. ] I have to.

[lacksgrace]

[ He lets out a breath, mostly at a loss for words as to what he should be doing. Something in him says it's wrong, wrong to let Jo do this without helping her as much as he can and wrong to kill someone based on past experiences. Something else in him though, the part he's buried so far under the failed coping mechanisms and tastes of Hell, says she should. She deserves this chance.

Bells meets her eyes and stands absolutely still, pausing half-heartedly in his attempt to find something to tell her before he reaches up to brush his thumb along the line of her jaw. He feels the tension, tries smoothing it away. ]

I get it. [ He does, and then again, he doesn't. He's watching the way his fingers move, slipping to touch her hair after a while. ] But you just got back. We just got you back, and I— [ It's his turn to clench his teeth, hand coming to settle on the back of her neck. He's not even paying attention to how close they are now. ] I need you, dammit.