ataraxionlogs | don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got til it's gone?

Entry tags:

don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got til it's gone?

CHARACTERS: Raven Darkholme & Heather Mason, Remus Lupin, Wesley Gibson, and Christopher Pike. in that order.
LOCATION: various.
WARNINGS: fighting, cursing, angst, blahblahbloo.
SUMMARY: Raven's pissed about a lot of things, and this is the result.
NOTES: all threads take place the day following this month's jump, except for the last thread in the medbay.

( catch-all post! individual starter threads inside. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ long story short, Raven is in full-on panic mode. Jim Kirk nor Mr. Spock met her by their lockers, as they usually do after a jump, and neither of them were standing near the lifts to greet new passengers, and they weren't still asleep in their pods, so Raven- yeah, she's assuming the worst. sort of. in that fun denial-ish way. she runs to the lift without even thinking twice, heads straight to the first floor and sprints to check their rooms.

which are open, but neither of them are there. another bad sign.

she spends all of five minutes waiting outside of their rooms before heading back down to the lift, intent on starting a search of every floor if she has to. luckily she only starts with the 010 floor and makes her way down from there, making it about two more before she realizes that the better option would be just to check the medbay first. right! damnit, Darkholme, focus. so she heads back to the lift, intent on going back down, but it makes a stop along the way, on the 002 floor. which is good ( but a bit unfortunate for the person she's about to bombard with questions just because she recognizes her from the network and seeing her around since the early jumps, and she's really hoping the girl doesn't mind a blue mutant suddenly talking to her at a mile a minute ), because maybe- ]

Hey- Heather. Right? I'm Raven, Security 001. Whatever. Um. Have you seen Jim Kirk anywhere? Or Spock? I must've missed them somehow, though we usually meet at our lockers, you know? So I don't know what could have kept them. I think I might check medbay, although I checked their pods and there wasn't even much of a mess outside of them, so I don't know how they could've gotten out. I dunno. [ half of her knows she's making a lot of excuses to avoid an obvious conclusion, the other half is desperately trying to figure out an answer that doesn't include the words they're gone ]

Edited 2013-07-17 03:30 (UTC)

[ it's with a heavy, angry, broken heart that Raven makes her way back to her room, her emotions stuck somewhere between fury and deafening sadness, a jumbled mess of things that make it very easy to ignore everything going on around her until she makes it back to her room. she can't figure out if she wants to contact- who? their crew? they likely already knew. gunnery? they'd find out soon enough as well. to be honest, she doesn't have it in her to say the words out loud, they're gone just seems like too much right now, too heavy and impossible and-

no. she just needs to get back to her room and figure out which emotion she's going to focus on and vent out like crazy.

of course, she isn't expecting Remus to be there waiting for her, and she feels horrible for not greeting him with a smile, because he probably doesn't even know that they're gone, and here she is, her eyes welling up with tears before she can even stop it. so she lets her door slide shut behind her, shakes her head a few times at him please don't ask, not yet, don't make me say it before closing the distance between them tucking her arms under his so she can hug him close and try not to completely freak out. she's crying, but she's trying hard to stifle it, control herself. which is probably obvious, because her hands are bunched into the back of Remus' jumpsuit like she needs to hold onto him white-knuckle tight or she'll completely lose it. ]

Edited 2013-07-17 03:36 (UTC)

Shh--

[He holds her tightly, arms wrapping around her like a shield, angling his body forward to try and press a little closer to her-- as if it will help, as if his mere presence might make whatever's hurting her go away. It has to be someone disappearing-- or, worse, dead, and his stomach drops as he thinks that. But that's all he can think about; she'd be springing into action if it was someone injured, someone she feared or loathing coming on-board. She's proactive; the only time she breaks down like this is when she can't do anything.

So he's worried, yes, but not so much that he pulls back and demands to know what's wrong. He simply holds her tightly, rocking a little, occasionally kissing the top of her head.]

Shh-- shh, it's all right-- everything's going to be all right--

[ FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! ]

[AND THEN THERE WAS A FIGHT. AND IT WAS GLORIOUS. AND BLOODY.

and now there's just the two of them left trying to catch their breath and nurse their wounds.]

Who the fuck taught you how to fight? [it's a comment just to fill the silence. to test the waters, really. for wesley, fighting is cathartic. he uses it as a way to relax, to unwind. a way to release whatever anger or frustration has built up since his last fight. (fucking works too, of course. but offering that to raven isn't ever going to be an option. incest is wrong kids).

but he has no idea if it'll work the same way for her. no idea if she's going to come out of this worse off than she'd been heading in to it. it was a (stupid) risk, but it's one he had to take. he's never been much good at helping others, but this was one thing he could do. he could be that outlet for her anger, however long it takes.]

[ Raven can't figure out how she feels, not yet. she's laid out on the matt, tentative to move just yet because she's pretty sure she felt something tear in her shoulder during the fight, and the only reason why she can't feel it now is because her adrenaline is surging through her system at an all-time high. she feels guilty, and angry, and thrilled, and a number of other things that don't make the best emotional cocktail in the world, so for now she's just staring up at the ceiling until she can remember how to get her heart rate back down to a healthy level. when Wesley finally speaks up again, she ends up laughing, kind of, thought it sounds more like a cough ]

You can thank Captain Kirk for that.

[ saying that makes her laugh, a real one, even if it's quickly followed by a groan of pain. okay, not going to roll onto her side just yet, bad idea. ]

I've never hit anyone that hard before. [ which is why she feels guilty. even if Wesley kept fighting her through it, it's still.. scary. to lift the shackles off of something you try really hard to keep in control ] I've never landed a jumping roundhouse kick before either. [ only, for some reason, thinking about that is making tears prick at her eyes, so she'll stop ] Is that how you always fight?

[the fact she manages to say his name so easily now, that the loss isn't so apparent, actually comes as a relief. it'd been the whole point of trying to rile her up. frustration at the situation would lead to anger. that anger needed an outlet, and he did his best to provide it. and while he knows that he shouldn't have underestimated her, he had. it's only his training with the repairman that'd kept him from going down without a fight. he knows how to take a hit or twenty.

(and okay, fighting with derek may be helping there too)

sprawled out on the ground, wesley only tilts his head toward her, not bothering to go through the effort of trying to sit back up just yet. with the doors to the gym locked, there's no reason to try and make a speedy getaway just yet.]

Here, sure. I've got nothing to shoot here, so I don't waste the ammo. [which means fighting up close and person with a werewolf. or training a bunch of kids to do the same]

So you really only learnt all this shit up here? [considering she hung around with lehnsherr, that doesn't quite make sense to him. not when her ability was shapeshifting. surely he'd expect her to be using that to her (his human-hating) advantage?]

I didn't know I could fight like that, back home, so yeah. I knew I was stronger than I should've been, but I never had a reason to learn how to fight until the whole.. Shaw thing.

[ wow, that was- ages ago. almost two years ago. she can still remember training, though, the little training she got to do with Charles always looking out for her. not holding her back ( although he kind of did ), it was more about trying to protect her than anything else, she knows that now. but she remembers the frustration - watching Banshee fly, watching Havok learn to use his chestplate, and there she was. lifting weights. all day. it was definitely frustrating! then she got here and met people that didn't want to keep her in the dark, that saw she had power and helped her learn how to use it. which now, over a year later, translates into kicking major ass, when she gets the chance.

she'd be more proud if she hadn't taken it out on someone she considers family ]

I had the luck and misfortune of being surrounded by people who wanted to protect me, more than let me fight. But I think I told you about that, back when I went home for a day. I had to sit on the sidelines when I could have been helping, and I never wanted to feel like that here. [ she sniffs, closing her eyes as she keeps back a groan. she has to keep wiggling and squirming to avoid letting her body get sore, like she can feel her muscles getting stiff, trying to avoid the wrong kind of movement. ugh, body, no ] A lot can change in a year, I guess.

[ well. that happened. she knew her first fistfight with Wesley ( because she knew it would happen eventually ) would be brutal, make no mistake, she knew it'd be much different than fighting Kirk or Spock, but- wow. wow. days later, days after she woke up in her pod and ran around like a maniac looking for people who weren't going to be there, after seeking comfort in Remus only to be interrupted by a series of terrible texts from Wesley ( which lead to the awful, but helpful, fight ), she's finally decided to go to the medbay. she normally wouldn't, normally her mutation would heal up most things pretty quick, but she's too impatient. as soon as her nose stopped bleeding, she headed for the lift to get checked out by medical instead of just going back to her room. she's pretty sure her shoulder's dislocated, but her body is so used to shifting around and changing that it doesn't hurt as much as it should, it isn't right.

so she's got her arm kind of bent against her side, and she's walking with little, tiny steps - the steps of someone that's already incredibly sore and she hasn't even really given herself the chance to sit down yet. oh yeah, and over her blue form is a red dress that a certain captain ( who is no longer here, not the one she knew, and she has to accept that. right. accepting that. ) gave to her the same day he let her know that he considers her a part of his crew here on the ship. incidentally, it's a lot easier to just slide on a dress than pull her jumpsuit on over the bruises and sore spots.

it's not long before she's pulling herself up onto an empty bed, waiting for someone to come check her out, or at least help her shove her arm back into place, please. she has thing to be doing, angst to be angsting, she has no time for a doctor's appointment. not that the department is in much of a rush to get to her..

after a few minutes of waiting, waiting, waiting, she starts to actually look around and pay attention to where she is and who's around, which is when she finally spots Pike on the bed directly across from hers. who she doesn't know, but she still offers him a smile ]

I would say the waiting game is the worst part of all this, but um, that's not really true, is it? [ yes, let's make light of the fact that her nose might start to bleed again any minute because there's something a bit messed up about that part of her body as well. her mutation can only do so much, okay! ] I'm Raven Darkholme, Security team. [ like that explains why she's in such terrible shape right now. and it took her long enough, but finally she notices the insignia on the man's uniform ] ... And you're a member of Starfleet.

Edited 2013-07-17 09:38 (UTC)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got til it's gone?

for heather;

for remus;

no subject

for wesley;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

for pike;