october bantum. (
gothchicklit) wrote in
ataraxionlogs2013-07-18 09:36 pm
Entry tags:
( closed )
CHARACTERS: October and Bells.
LOCATION: October's room.
WARNINGS: Mentions of gore, character death, general horror movie-esque things.
SUMMARY: Bells comes to comfort October after a bad dream.
NOTES: Nadda.
LOCATION: October's room.
WARNINGS: Mentions of gore, character death, general horror movie-esque things.
SUMMARY: Bells comes to comfort October after a bad dream.
NOTES: Nadda.
[ The pills were supposed to help. That's why she'd gone to talk to Dexter, why she'd actually caved and asked for help from medical. They were supposed to make sleeping possible, make it so she could get an entire night's rest without waking once. Whether she dreamed or not, she didn't really care so long as she didn't remember it in the morning.
Then Kirk left, at least the one she knew, and she grabbed the leftover pills he had in his room when she went to say goodbye. (It didn't feel like it mattered at all, though; it was just an empty room without him in it.) She took one of his tonight because they'd worked before but tonight...
It's Phin's lifeless body in front of her, contorted and shockingly pale beneath the dark red blood, that pushes her through the haze of sleep. She doesn't even realize the scream she's hearing is coming from her, even when it breaks as the same time that the tears start. Her hands grip the edge of the bed - the covers had been kicked off onto the floor at some point during the night - but she can't seem to get a grip on herself.
The pills were supposed to help her sleep, not make her an uncontrollable, sobbing mess. ]

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Tonight? Tonight, it's not either.
He's passing by October's room when he hears the scream, the noise that seems to bleed through the walls and into his ears. Bells stops and turns to go towards it, alert and trying to listen. He wants to be sure there's no one in there, no one hurting her, and really, it doesn't seem to be the case since she's not calling for help or screaming again. That doesn't mean he isn't going to do something about it because he's testing the door to see if it'll slide open for him. Oddly enough, it does—which may or may not say something about the entire situation. But he's in, eyes immediately focusing on her and nothing else. ]
Hey. [ It's meant to be soothing, something to get her attention and distract her from whatever it is that's going on, but it's almost like a question. He's no stranger to bad dreams, and this has nightmare written all over it. Bells eases closer, entirely unaware of personal space. ] It's gonna be okay.
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Both hands move to cover her face then and she curls in on herself, feet on the frame of the bed, hands and face pressed against the tops of her knees. All she wants is to get control of herself, to be able to breathe and act like a normal human being again, but she can't. She can't and she hates it, and that makes her cry even harder, body shaking slightly with the intensity of it. ]
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October. [ Saying her name as quietly as he does seems weird, and he can't shake the fact this seems to be more than what he's normally capable of handling. ] You're here with me, okay? It was just a dream.
[ As far as he can tell anyway. Maybe they'll talk about it. Maybe he'll pry and see what he can get out of her since they've, at the very least, moved into the sharing part of their friendship. Bells slides his hand around to press it against her back, idly brushing at some of her hair. ]
You're safe. I'm not gonna let anything get you.
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She manages to get herself under enough control that she can talk, but her face is still in her hands so her voice comes out muffled. ] It wasn't. [ She swallows, tries to keep her voice from cracking, but it doesn't help. ] It wasn't just a dream.
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Wanna talk about it? What happened? [ He really doesn't know what else to say. ]
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Wiping her cheeks off, despite the fact that she's still crying (silently now, at least), October drags her hands through her hair and grips her shoulders. She keeps her forehead pressed to her knees and tries to breathe slowly, to get a better semblance of control.
No, she doesn't want to talk about it, but burying it doesn't help. Especially with how foggy she still feels thanks to the pill she took. ] My brother-- [ Her voice cracks and she forces herself to sit up, arms wrapping tightly around herself, but she doesn't look at Bells. Her gaze stays focused in front of her, not really seeing anything, just refusing to look at him. ] The fucking idiot went off by himself and she...
[ But October can't finish that sentence. Can't even finish thinking it, honestly, so hopefully Bells will figure it out himself. ]
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Bells knows what it feels like to suffer over and over the things he could not change.
And she doesn't need to spell it out for him, the other conversations they've had piecing themselves together slowly. It doesn't paint an entirely clear picture, but it's enough so that he knows. He sighs and shifts just a little closer. ]
You don't have to say anything else if you don't feel like it, okay? I get it. [ Sort of. He thinks this is one of those times he should keep his mouth shut, and he isn't going to tell her he's sorry because it's not going to bring her brother back, it isn't going to fix this. Besides, Alex had told him, once, that people only said they were sorry when they didn't know what else to say.
He can think of something now. ] I won't leave you.
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With the grogginess still in her system, all October really wants is to lay down and go back to sleep, but she knows that it's impossible now. Even if she could get back to sleep, there's no way she'd be able to do so without more nightmares and that's the last thing she wants.
She swallows roughly and closes her eyes for a moment, brow furrowed. ] I miss him so much. [ Her voice is quiet and scratchy, even a little strained, and it cracks again. If she weren't so emotionally raw and mentally foggy, she'd hate herself right now. ]
this somehow got lost in space /bad puns
That's something that's never gonna go away. But uh. He probably misses you too, you know.
[ Wherever he is. He doubts it's somewhere bad. Most people didn't deserve to go there. Bells hopes it's a small comfort. ]
boo.
No offense, Bells, but I don't exactly believe in the whole afterlife thing. [ Besides, she came here instead of going to Heaven or Hell (though she'd argue this is the latter), which means, to her, that neither of those are an option. They're just fairytales told to people so they'll behave or repent their sins. ]
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I'm not the only one either. [ But that's not really relevant, is it? Bells reaches out to touch her face, just a gentle touch of fingertips. ] Maybe try thinking about that for a little while instead. Forget this damn boat.
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That's easier said than done. This place-- [ She sniffles and reaches up to wipe off the cheek he's not touching. ] It makes thinking about anything else fucking impossible.