(no subject)

[jilt]

CHARACTERS: irene adler + neal caffrey
LOCATION: neal's room!
WARNINGS: probably discussion of fucked up shit, will update as needed.
SUMMARY: checking up on neal, etc.

[ there are things irene simply isn't made for. she isn't a creature meant to offer comfort. she's a creature made for fluttering away when death strikes, as if getting out of range will exempt her. but there's no place for her to fly away to aboard this ship, nowhere for her to go, and so she adapts. one must always adapt, even if she feels unsettled by it, by the way she's putting down roots, by the way she's growing attached.

but this isn't a place one survives without attachments. irene has died once. she doesn't wish to repeat that particular performance, so she tells herself that's only natural that she finds herself people to cleave to.

but neal is something different all together. neal has always been different in one way or another. and that's why she seeks him out, goes to his room and knocks gently. ianto had given the puddled corpse a name and that name was someone dear to neal, and irene just--

she wants to see him, be certain he's not been laid low and broken by such things. so she knocks gently, calls his name softly. irene adler never begs for anything, not even this, but she thinks she'd stay a little while, beg entry quietly if he doesn't answer. ]

Comments

[became]

[ with a lot of knocks, neal could happily turn his face to the wall and not suffer an ounce of guilt for it, because-- it's not about death ( although it is, it very much is ) as about keller, about the things his death means to the neal caffrey he was, and the man he is now.

he doesn't bother to try and tidy up, leaving the handful of bottles stacked neatly on his desk, the rumpled clothes draped haphazardly over a chair. ]

It couldn't be someone else to ignore?

[ neal tries to keep the words light, but they crack and break spoken through his still-wrecked throat. ]

[jilt]

[ he looks a wreck. irene's expression edges towards troubled, and she reaches up to touch his face immediately, step in close. ]

Because there are none more persistent than I.

[ her eyes move over his face as her fingers move to his neck, stroking gently across his skin. it's maternal, or a reasonable imitation of maternal, the best irene can manage. ]

Oh my darling. Come, sit down with me. Let me look at you.

[became]

Not quite true.

[ there are things waiting in the dark that make irene adler ( both of them, and every jim moriarty the world can summon back from wherever he disappeared to ) seem harmless and tame and they both know it. ]

We met in Monaco. At the World Backgammon Finals-- neither of us won, but I did scam him out of half his take before he returned the favor with all of mine. [ and that was all it took-- keller was brash and loud and that accent, and he was good. ( and much better at backgammon than neal, admittedly. ) it was like a sign, the perfect fulfillment of every movie neal ever tried to emulate.

then it wasn't, but he's never seen the point of not romanticizing when it was. ] We never got along. [ stopping, neal shrugs and falls silent. ]

[jilt]

[ irene adler never met matthew keller. her counterpart had been the one to handle it, to hold that leash. but neal's talking about him, and irene listens, expression solemn. ]

I'm sorry, Neal.

[ because it's a loss. irene's never lost someone she truly cared for, not like this. irene was the one who did the leaving, the running away, and she was always free to return when she pleased. ]

Truly.

[became]

We weren't friends. We were partners, but it wasn't...

[ but friends aren't something neal's ever been well-versed in; mozzie is too much to be just a friend, and peter's-- peter. keller wasn't either of them, but for some abstract reason it seems important to make the distinction clear. ]

He's just always been there, around the edges. For the next game. [ neal inhales, rubbing his hands over his face. ] God. I have to go through his room before someone else does, he'd never let me forget it if I let anyone break that damn lamp.

[jilt]

I know.

[ because irene understands such a thing, people who don't fit neatly into any specific category, people who belong elsewhere entirely, but who are still important, still precious. ]

Do you want us to do it?

[ her and irene, of course. who else could act in his stead? ]

[became]

Could you?

[ keller would laugh about sentimentality and how he always knew neal was soft, but the living have the advantage of not having to hear the dead's opinions on their emotional state. later, he'll go over the room with a finetooth comb, try and find the little things keller might have stashed away. now--

now he's still dead, the kind that won't be returning. ( sherlock never did. ) ]

It was Ward. [ his tone warms a little there, anger. ] Keller's never been the suicidal type.

[jilt]

[ once irene might have scoffed, quiet and turned away. but her holmes left, and irene tends to his ridiculous bird, gathered up everything he left behind and took it for herself, hoards it like a tangible link.

she understands now, what it is neal would have her do. ]

Why? Why bother?

[ it's perhaps a stupid question to ask, risky in a way irene tries not to be. but she asks anyway. ]

[became]

Resnik.

[ he lifts his right hand, shapes it into a gun and pulls the trigger, eyes going dark and faraway for a moment. ]

An eye for an eye, if we're sticking to Biblical themes.

[jilt]

[ thief.

it should be written down, underlined. if holmes ever came back, he'd want to know. irene wants to know, wants to hoard that knowledge to herself. her expression is intent. ]

Do you want to pay him back in kind, Neal?

[ the crucial question, so to speak. ]

i really viciously love this cr

[became]

I--

[ pausing, neal bites back the immediate yes. ] I hate him. [ the words are careful, measured. ] I don't know why, but I want to see him suffer.

[ there's the slightest hint in his tone of pure cruelty neal caffrey can't lay claim to, not even if he tried.

then he sighs, tension leaking from his frame as he shrugs helplessly. ]

I just want it to end. I'm tired of them both.

it's the best cr tbfh

[jilt]

[ neal might not lay claim to it, but irene could. irene was a cruel woman. it was a necessity. one had to be cruel to do what she did, lure men into love and bliss, then rip it down around their ears, take everything they'd ever offered her and more.

she lays a hand in the center of his back, presses against his spine. ]

We can find a way to make him suffer for it.

[ because he's only a man, is he not? a man with a new assortment of tricks, but even so, irene's met with crueler. ( there will never be anyone to rival moriarty, no matter how long she lives here among the stars. ) ]

We'll end it then. You needn't be caught between them.

neal and the irenes for lyfe yo

[became]

Smarter to leave it alone.

[ and that's-- neal blinks, shakes his head like a dog coming out of water and sighs. ]

Much smarter. [ twisting, he grabs her hand and pulls it up, kissing the back and resting it on my shoulder. ]

Don't go looking for satisfaction with him on my account, Irene, I'm serious. I'd rather have no Keller than no you. [ with no small amount of dark humor: ] We knew what we were getting into.

[ the punchline is no one knows, but even neal can't laugh at that. ]

resting it on my shoulder tho.

[jilt]

[ irene's fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt. she doesn't look entirely satisfied with that. irene was a spiteful creature by nature, liked to get in a parting shot. but something in his expression makes her hesitate, if only for a moment. ]

I'll leave it for now, if only you promise me you'll let us look after you.

[ keller was inconsequential; irene cared nothing for him. but she cared a great deal about neal. ]

i hate you so much don't talk to me the shame, eppy, the everlasting shame of the typo

[became]

I'll demand it, how about that?

[ tugging her into his lap, neal tries to clear the most obvious shadows from his smile. ] Until you're sick of coddling me. Ask Peter, I'm shameless when I don't feel well.

[ the consequences of believing his own con, in trusting the house of cards he's spent almost a year neatly building are finally settling in; until they either dissipate or neal can decide what to do with them, he'd rather not think about it. ]

ilu tho

[jilt]

[ he pulls and she lets him, goes willingly in to his lap, into the circle of his arms. the easy give and take between them is a beautiful thing, something irene cherishes. ]

I think I can stand to coddle you.

[ irene's not much for coddling, though she doesn't think neal is sincere in his request. ]

For a little while, at least.

ihu you so much

[became]

You'll be the best temporary wiper of fevered brows the world has ever known. Limited run, ticket price through the roof sort of thing.

[ irene will refuse to coddle him; not peter's willful ignorance of the situation ( keller was a threat, a thug and a killer; he's better off dead, so why mourn the loss of a problem ) but something closer to what moz would have done once he finished celebrating no more competition from his side of the law. ]

I do love you, you know.

lies you love me

[jilt]

[ irene winds her arms around his neck. they make a pretty picture, the two of them ( they always make a pretty picture ) like lovers, like sweethearts, but they're something both more and less, something more intimate by far. irene curls her fingers around the nape of his neck, tips her head, expression going soft. ]

And I you, my dearest. Never forget that.

[ it's the most sincere she's ever been in professing her affections. but there's no point in playing her cards so closely with neal, was there? they were playing the same game. he knew all her bluffs by heart. ]

:| okay fine

[became]

'Until the seas gang dry'.

[ might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb, after all. ]

Things are going to start moving, now.

[jilt]

Which things, my love?

[ it's a useless question. irene has a faint idea which things, and they're not things neal ever speaks coherently about. ]