thirty-ninth jump;

[ataraxites]

CHARACTERS: Any and all.
LOCATION: Gravity Couches and beyond.
WARNINGS: Maybe some swearing, or even some violence, and more than likely some implied (and possibly explicit) nakedness.
SUMMARY: Another month, another jump, another round of new faces.
NOTES: A feeling of deep dread greets you as you stumble out of the gravcouch, strong enough to hold you still for a long moment, searching your surroundings for the source of your wariness. Nothing becomes apparent, only your fellow passengers waking up. Eventually you gather the resolve to pick yourself up and start moving, the feeling fading slowly as you progress through routine.

New arrivals will find messages spraypainted across their lockers telling them not to follow their tattoo numbers, and instead to find a room on Floors 001-010.


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There's a breathing tube jammed down your trachea, and you're suspended in a tube of clear blue fluid. Upon registering your level of consciousness, the gravity couch drains the fluid surrounding you and retracts the breathing apparatus; the doors in front of you open, and you're deposited on the floor of a stark, sterile medical bay.

ＹＯ́Ｕ̴ ̧Ａ̨ＲＥ ＮＯＴ҉ ̷ＡＬＯ̨ＮＥ҉

There are others who have come before you, others who are awakening beside you. Some may be familiar to you, perhaps even friends. Others have much less amiable plans. Some are merely alien and inexplicable, but there are always those who might mean you harm.

After you catch your breath and your vision returns, you notice a number on the inside of your forearm. Maybe it's a familiar number. Maybe it means something. Maybe it's just a number. But the number—completely unique to you—is a tattoo, and it does not come off.

If you enter the room adjacent to the medbay, you will find a small locker with your number on it, surrounded by rows upon rows of identical lockers. Inside, you will find a few of your personal items, a communications device, and a ship's uniform in your exact size. The comms device is fully powered and connects directly to the ship's network; it's your only means of communication beyond physical conversation. Upon turning the device on, a neutral, automated voice will say, "Please take the blue lift to the passenger quarters." Any other attempts at communicating with the rest of the network are met only with static.

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Comments

[circumitus]

She doesn't look to him right away. Just folds her elbow to bring the dogtags closer to her chest, which is mercifully covered for Firo's sake. Her eyes, fixed on the wall of her locker, squint.

"Yes -- and no." Rey pauses. "They were, once."

Schuyler was a different person. A different life.

But she was part of Rey now. All of those women who live inside her memories are.

[foundafamily]

He blinks. Come on, Rey, Firo doesn't do puzzles.

"...Somehow I'm even more confused than I was a second ago."

Though confusion is Firo's natural state of being, so that statement doesn't mean much. He runs a hand through his hair.

"How come you say it like they're not yours anymore? You get kicked out or whatever it is they call it?"

[circumitus]

She shakes her head.

"Schuyler died--" She stops, her brows bunching together. "No, that's not right. Schuyler was reset in order to become Stone."

Her fingers clench around the dogtags.

After a moment, Rey's eyes shift to Firo, as if noticing his presence for the first time.

"Used to be different people before coming here," she adds, though probably not doing much to add clarity to the situation.

[foundafamily]

There are a lot of unfamiliar names and strange ideas flying around right now. Firo holds his hands up as if pleading for mercy.

"...Wait, you used to be... not Rey?"

Could she mean that she took their memories like he took Szilard's? (And those of all those other alchemists, he thinks, before reminding himself that those memories aren't his.)

"How the hell does that work?"

[circumitus]

Her eyes dart away for a moment in thought, before returning to meet Firo's again.

"Told you about the memory wipe before. Remember? That's what being reset is. Old memories are rewritten to shape a new identity once the previous one has either been destroyed or compromised. Used to be other people, though none of them were aware that they were simply memories."

Only the current Rey has had that luxury of being self-aware and being allowed to live to tell someone about it.

[foundafamily]

His eyes threaten to glaze over at all the multi-syllabic words she's throwing around, but he forces himself to pay attention. He did ask, after all, and he's been wanting more details on her memory stuff since it first came up.

"...Okay. So, uh. They are yours. Kind of."

Be impressed that he at least got that much out of this.

"Doesn't it get confusin' tryin' to keep track a' all that..?"

Not that he would know from experience, or anything.

[circumitus]

Good job, Firo. Good job.

"Always," she says honestly. Her voice is heavy with all the weight the exhaustion carries her. "It's easy to get lost in a memory, and difficult to discern the real from the written ones."

It's something she's had to struggle with for a long time now. She should be used to it, but some days are more challenging than others. Especially in light of recent events.

[foundafamily]

He nods, with more commiseration in that gesture than he'd like to admit. Szilard's memories are no fuzzier than his own from several years ago; much of the way he separates them comes from the emotions surrounding the memories and the visible differences in space and time. But for some reason, he's become less able to notice those markers recently.

"Must suck. Seems cruel to do that to someone on purpose."

If he thinks about it, her situation is probably worse than his. He had something of a choice, but he doesn't know how much she did.

[circumitus]

When she was born, the first words ever spoken to Rey were simple.

You are a vessel. You are born to die. Do you understand this?

At the time it made perfect sense. She was a tool and nothing more. Her life would never be her own. Back then, this simple fact was easy for her to accept. Soldier's orders, and soldiers obey...

But she's not a soldier anymore. Actually, she isn't sure what she is now, but that thought hardly brings her any solace. And it shows in her face as she frowns.

"Was not a someone when it happened. Was just a thing, nothing more."

[foundafamily]

Ouch. Firo's only heard one other person talk about herself so bluntly and coldly and Rey's words don't bring back happy memories of those times. Did she have a Szilard in her life, like Ennis? Just the thought makes him sick.

He growls and shakes his head.

"That's bullshit. You're a "someone" now and you've always been one. Anyone who tries to sell stuff like that should just get dumped in a river."

Whoever convinced her of these things, Firo sounds absolutely certain of that judgement. The only real decision in his mind is whether to kill them first or tie them up and let them drown.

[circumitus]

There's something familiar about his tone. A flash of recognition washes over her expression for only a moment, before there's a tug at the corner of her mouth.

"Someone else has already beaten you to it." Her remaining fingers tighten around the towel, whitening. "Minus the 'dumped in a river' part, of course."

[foundafamily]

"Really?" He smiles, genuinely cheered by that thought.

"If they're taken care of, then do your best to forget about all that."

Please. He knows as well as anyone else that there are some memories you can't just erase.

[circumitus]

"Hard to forget things with a photographic memory."

This is one of those times where Rey shouldn't be allowed to take anything as literally as she does.

[foundafamily]

He pouts at hearing his only advice tossed aside so easily. "Then just don't think about it!"

Or anything! Not thinking is always a great solution. Unfortunately, even Firo can't turn his brain off as easily as he suggests.

[circumitus]

"Just don't think about it," Rey echoes, and it's half a question, half a statement. Because Firo is telling her to do something that's way easier said than done when there are so many people and so much noise that she can just flip that switch.

[foundafamily]

He nods quickly, as if what he's saying isn't incredibly detrimental and nonsensical. "Yeah. If you catch yourself thinkin' about it, just do somethin' else. Or try and keep your head blank."

Little does he realize that this strategy has only made his problems worse.

[circumitus]

"Haven't really been able to do that lately. Not since the last recon."

Meditation used to help. She had found ways of clearing her mind, of mental exercises that she had learned to cope with the memories and the timelines. But now they seem to be getting all jumbled up.

Ugh. What a mess.

[foundafamily]

Ah, the last recon. Firo's somewhat chastened, thinking of his own terrible fallout from that event. Fallout that seems to only get worse as time goes on. Likely her problem won't benefit from being ignored either.

"...Right. It messed with your head?"

[circumitus]

She starts to nod, but before she responds she freezes, eying him warily.

"Did it mess with yours?" Rey asks, cautious.

[foundafamily]

For a moment there, he did think he would get away with not saying anything. He sighs and nods.

"Calm down. Yeah, it did. I haven't been..." It's a difficult problem to explain, so he probably shouldn't get into it, right? ...And he just kind of doesn't want to. "...normal since all that crazy stuff happened."

[circumitus]

"Is anyone who's been around this long normal anymore?"

After all, a great deal of them have experienced a couple cases of space sickness, mutations, and numerous psychological and physical assaults. Rey can't really imagine many people walking away from those situations mentally intact.

But still, she gets what Firo means. It's more than just any of that.

Huff.

[foundafamily]

He sighs. Why do you have to make this difficult, pal? Huh?

"I get your point. It's less normal than the usual not normal, okay? Like, even more parts a' my brain are messed up."

[circumitus]

In spite of her being difficult, she actually gets what Firo means.

"Okay," she says. "So what's it been like for you?"

She's quick to recall what William had said over the network. That all the recon teams who made it back were experiencing various symptoms that were either emotional, physical, or behavioral. Rey doesn't have a very good fix on what's going on in her head yet. What about Firo's?

[foundafamily]

"I..."

His immediate thought is to lie about Szilard's memories, of course. That's just an unpleasant thing to get into and he doesn't exactly like to go around boasting about that time he killed an old man even if said old man was a terrible person.

But then how is he supposed to say what's wrong with him? If her issue is similar, then he should be honest so they can put their heads together and figure this out.

He looks off to the side and folds his arms over his chest. "...It's a long story, but I've got memories that are mine and memories I took--er, I mean, memories that aren't mine. Lately it's been harder to tell which is which."

And given those memories that aren't his are incredibly disturbing, it's not fun.

[circumitus]

As Firo explains his condition, Rey squints a little. Yes, she can sympathize a great deal with that...

"Have had that problem since before the recon. Can't help make it stop, but perhaps there's a way to help you better live with it."

Without her father's guidance, Rey has only her memories to go on. Fortunately, her memories are all she really needs, as she can allow herself to go back to that old moment of another time.

Of course, Firo's situation could be different from hers. But she's willing to help.