ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴘᴀᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ( ᴏ ᴘ ᴇ ɴ )

[milagros]

CHARACTERS: Dr Mila Gallo and you.
LOCATION: Medical Bay; Dr Gallo's office.
WARNINGS: Terrible bedside manner. (I'll update with appropriate warnings as necessary. Let me know if I miss something!)
SUMMARY: Dr Gallo's door is always open.
NOTES: TL;DR since so much of her CR is taking on various weird and wonderful medical cases, and she's always referring blandly to her office hours, why not an open log. Do not feel obliged to be a sicky. Perhaps you actually want to visit her and she's generally easiest to find at work. Also, I will match whatever format you tag me in.

( one day is very like another. dr gallo has a regular case load she wouldn't have anticipated, when she first positioned herself with medical, but even so, plenty of her time is left to busy-work, as much because she's at work too much as for any other reason. but what else is she going to do with herself? there's only so many looping runs she can take, so many times she can punch a swinging bag she would never admit to solomon she's imagining lindberg's smug goddamn face on, so many hours that can be spent in communion and contemplation in the oxygen gardens. it is not accidental that very little of what she does in the hours not spent here involves anyone else, either, so there's that.

so she's here, a lot. she keeps meticulous and detailed notes - refreshes herself periodically on old case files, those belonging to patients no longer aboard the ship, because you never know. they might be back, or it might prove relevant to something else, or-- a hundred other things. she has blood samples for projects that have been indefinitely shelved due to a jump absence and paperwork to go along with it, her record-keeping slightly idiosyncratic but nevertheless thorough, and (mostly) available to her colleagues where required. she's not the most forthcoming of women, professionally or personally, and she's been known to make unilateral decisions about what is and is not need to know information.

it usually plays out in her favour. still.

she can be found in her office, which - after months - is finally starting to look like it's used by a particular person, and not just as a very clean and oversized spartan storage closet with a desk and a coathook. )

Comments

[troops]

...how do you know that?

[He thinks back, and- Fenris, maybe, with his tattoos, but why would he have needed to come here? No, there are other options, it could exist in another world, it could exist here, for her to know about it...

Hope flickers across his features for a moment and he leans forward in his chair, curiosity outweighing apprehension.]

-that's not a complete list of effects either, but- who was your patient? [HIPPA doesn't exactly exist in Thedas, so he doesn't really see anything wrong with asking. Sounds like a mage, if they were talking about lyrium's effects on mana, and he doesn't think that any of the mages here have had problems with lyrium in the past.]

[milagros]

A privilege you receive as my patient is that I will not discuss your confidential or identifying information without either your consent or extreme extenuating circumstance. Although my previous patient is no longer aboard the ship, I will maintain their privacy, as I imagine you'd prefer I maintain yours.

( it's matter of fact, rather than chiding - she doesn't expect him to be all up on best ethical practise in the medical field (or any other) - but it serves to firmly close the door on pursuing that as a topic. discussing lyrium, yes; discussing, in brief, that she's aware of lyrium and some of the context for it, yes. discussing details of another patient's case-- no. )

I'd appreciate elaboration on the other effects that you're aware of, however, while you're telling me what it is that you need.

( her expression is expectant. details of his case will get them further.

nothing in her manner suggests any reluctance or concerns about treating him. )

[troops]

[Cullen opens his mouth as if to argue, but stops himself at the last moment, realizing that from the tone of her voice, such a rule was most likely non-negotiable. This isn't the hill he wants to die on here, and so he tries to push the thought from his mind. Still, something to think about later, when he's not focused on... well, whatever this is.

She asks for an elaboration, and Cullen frowns for a moment, before speaking.]

Lyrium strengthens your connection to the Fade. For mages, this allows for more potent spellcasting. For non-mages, it's... [There's a pause there. Cullen decides against describing the sensation of it, and tries to stick to the cold application.] ...it allows for non-mages to sense and control the Fade- the, power source, so to speak, for all magic. Specifically, with rigorous training, non-mages can utilize lyrium to remove the source of magic from an area, be that a person or a spell's effective radius.

[Which is the long and short of it. Useful, to be sure- and in a world where magic can be easily used to slaughter, necessary. Still, that doesn't make the ramifications any easier. Cullen sighs, leaning forward in his chair, enough to rest his elbows on his knees, fingers threaded together in a look of contemplation.]

I'm here for two reasons. The first is that I want to know if it's possible to somehow obtain lyrium on the ship. I don't intend to use it for myself, but knowing that it's here would ease quite a few concerns among those from my world.

[milagros]

( she notes down what he's saying as he says it; her hand slows as he elaborates on the first of those two reasons, and when she looks up it's with a very neutral expression. )

I imagine that it's as possible to obtain as it as anything else that would have to have arrived with a passenger. Bartering with others of your world is not a medical concern. And the second?

( because you definitely did not come to her office to ask for drugs, did you, cullen. )

[troops]

[To be fair, without a continuous supply, there's a very real chance of all those nasty side effects happening. As in, it's happened to just about every other person who's been cut off after forming the addiction. At the coolness of her response though, Cullen finds himself bristling again, but- like before- accepts the fact that this is likely not something she's willing to help him with. Which leaves... Xenogen, maybe? He's running out of options.

Still, his voice hardens a little, falling to a somewhat impersonal tone.]

The second is that withdrawals from lyrium can drive someone to madness. Hallucinations, paranoia, even death- it's not something to be taken lightly. A continued application has far more benefits than it has drawbacks, which is why I was hoping that there would be a way to find it on this ship. If that isn't the case...

[He tips his head, contemplative. The next part is a little more difficult- this is more his issue than Evangeline's.]

-I haven't taken any for several months now. The benefits are long gone, but the effects of the withdrawal... in my world, there is nothing that can help, and there are no accurately documented cases of someone surviving with their mind intact. I have safeguards in place on the ship, should I become... irrational, but I wanted to ask if there was a more modern technique that could-

[Cullen shrugs, looking away again. He's been scared for months, and the fear has burned through him, leaving only this- this grim acceptance. It's unpleasant, but it's reality. Cassandra had thought that he was strong enough to endure this, to pave the way for others to follow in his footsteps. If he could do that for Evangeline, or even if he could make the first few months easier on her, it has to be worth whatever attempt he makes.]

-something that could ensure my sanity.

[milagros]

( mila sits back, regarding cullen thoughtfully, pen tapping lightly against the table. for all that she's quite understated, it's evident in this moment that that's a personality trait, rather than any kind of forceful decision to be hard to read; she isn't hard to read, emotions and moods playing over her face readily when provoked. she isn't enthused about his attitude or much of what's thus far come out of his mouth during their few conversations, but he is looking for help.

and she respects that, at least. he is afraid of what's happening to him and he's come to someone he previously dismissed-- that is difficult to do, and she isn't going to turn him away. let him walk away if he chooses to, yes, but not reject him herself. )

Whether I'm able to synthesize lyrium or not is irrelevant, ( at length - not unkindly. ) It would not be the act of an ethical medical professional to enable that addiction; I am not going to do that.

But you've come here for addiction management and I can offer you help with that, yes. We need to understand more about what's in your system and how it functions - what you're talking about is something very specific, and we don't... ( she gestures with the pen: ) Medicine - any kind of healing - isn't a broad strokes, one solution fits all problems. There are a lot of modern techniques to deal with addiction or with mental illness. We need to identify the root cause of the symptom in order to treat it, because otherwise we may be putting a bandaid on a sucking chest wound.

That means a battery of testing - blood tests, brain scans. How much of it is psychological and how much of it is physiological. Until we know the cause, we're flying blind.

[troops]

[On one hand, he feels a little like he's talking to a brick wall. She's refusing to even look into it on a ground of ethics, but Cullen is fairly certain that there are far more health drawbacks to being forced to stop than there would be if he continued to take it... if he could, that is. He wouldn't- that's what this all boils down to. And as much as he wants to push the issue for Evangeline, he knows how suspicious it would be to ask her to look into an addictive substance 'for a friend'.

She's not from his world, that's the crux of the matter. He has to accept that and move on to take the help that she will offer. Even if that... well, hardly seems promising at all.]

...blood tests?

[The rest of it seems simple enough- well, it seems ridiculously complicated, but at least she knows what she's doing and it's something he can be eased through.]

I can accept that. If you can figure out how to help me, will you be able to treat any templars who might come here in the future?

[Read as: the whole reason Cullen is actually here.]

[milagros]

( sometimes people die.

sometimes, unnatural things are done to people's bodies that twist and pervert them, and sometimes it's better they don't survive. if those things are reversible, god, let them be so; given the opportunity and the space to do so, she will work harder than anyone to preserve life. but there's no argument cullen can make that will convince mila to support and aid what she sees as an unnatural perversion. that it kills, and that the death is so ugly, only reinforces her perspective. its magical benefits are not, in her opinion, at all worth their cost.

so she will fight that, because she can, but she won't help him hold it off by giving him poison. if they can't be saved, then they can't be saved; if they can only be saved with something that ugly, it is not salvation. )

Blood tests are a medical practise that involves taking a small sample and studying it in a laboratory - many diseases and defects can be identified through it, and it's an effective means of monitoring health. I have more direct methods available to me that are substantially less intrusive to you, but I understand you aren't comfortable receiving directly magical treatment. While your options otherwise are limited, I'm making what allowances I can.

And yes, I will. Treatment will likely differ slightly from one person to another, but through working with you I should be able to come up with a gameplan that can be adapted - I won't have to reinvent the wheel for everyone.

[troops]

[It's probably a good thing Cullen can't read her mind.

He doesn't seem entirely pleased anyway, but he pretty much hasn't been since he walked through the door.]

...alright. Whatever will help others. [Considering that he hasn't sought out help until he realized that someone else would soon be in his shoes, well... at any rate, he figures that they can negotiate any blood tests when they come, as well as his comfort levels around magic. He doesn't mind the healing variety much, and he's well aware that it has its uses. He'll just have to see how far that gets him.]

What do you need from me right now?

[milagros]

Ideally, a sample of the drug would be an excellent place to start. If you're no longer in possession of the substance, I may be able to work with negligible amounts brushed off in something it was stored in. It wouldn't be nothing.

( she's writing as she speaks; )

I'll want to monitor you over time - so we can see what works and what doesn't, and keep track of your condition - which means we should get a baseline of where you're at right now to compare against what we find later. As I've said, you have options for how I perform those tests, and I'm happy to explain them to you in more detail now, so that you can take some time to think about what you're comfortable with and we can schedule an appointment for you to return and have them done.

( it's not really going to be a negotiation; he has three options, and he can pick between them. the third option is finding someone else in medical to treat him, and mila won't take offense if he chooses it. )

[troops]

Alright. I'll find some.

[He doesn't like this, but his options are limited. Cullen nods and leans back a little in his chair.]

I'd like to hear more about these tests.

[milagros]

Blood tests are the common medical practise, ( matter of fact, running through her schedule while she talks rather than anything else. she's not, even if he decides on the spot right now, going to carry out the tests immediately; she'll give him a window of time to either change his mind or become certain of his decision. mila the healer wants her patient to be sure of his path; mila the diplomat is not going to let it be said later that she pushed or manipulated him into anything.

however, she's obliged to set her device aside in order to elaborate further, taking a trolley from the corner of her office and bringing it over so he can examine the needles and other accoutrements for himself. with his eyes, not his hands. ) For that, I'll use these - probably not these specifically, as they're sterile tools intended for single use upon a single patient.

( and presumably she'll have patients between now and then. )

I will fill a small vial like this one with your blood; it's briefly uncomfortable, you'll feel a prick of pain and a sense of pressure, and then it's done, and your part in that is over. The blood will go to the labs for analysis, and that analysis will tell us more about your current state of health and what is influencing it. Testing in this way is limited - we are lucky in that I have blood samples from a patient who was exposed to lyrium, and I'll have that resource in order to test your blood for the same drug, establish the current levels of it and begin to look at what it has already physically done to your body.

Blood tests are specific tests; for example, if I were to run a blood test to discern if you were pregnant, the results are not going to tell me that I could've saved myself the effort by glancing down your trousers, they're going to tell me that you are not pregnant because your blood doesn't contain the pregnancy hormone that I'm testing for. Establishing your baseline with the first battery of tests will allow me to be more specific in the future, and monitor you more carefully; this needs to be supplemented with regular appointments and discussions. I need to know what to look for - I need to know what symptoms you experience so I can rule out causes.

The alternative test is more straightforward. I am a witch of a particular Tradition within my world that is most closely associated with the sphere we call Life. ( sex, blood and rock and roll, in the words of the only other surviving member of her coven. ) We are the demiurge, and one of the gifts of my Tradition is something called vitakinesis - a 'pyrokinetic' creates and manipulates fire. A vitakinetic creates and manipulates life.

( all life, plant or animal, down to the molecular level. her power is limited only by her imagination and her strength to wield it. )

In order to do this, I must have an awareness and an understanding of what lives; when I choose to, I can focus upon any living creature and know it. ( she says this in the same plain, matter of fact way she outlined blood testing. ) Through my medical training, I can translate this knowledge into something that can be collated in your medical records - where a healer a few hundred years ago sees a wrongness in a body to be set right, I have the vocabulary to identify it for what it is and prescribe treatment. In this way, rather than use up the resources of your body to rule out possibilities, I allow your body to tell me what's wrong with it, and address that more directly.

This manner of examination involves no real interaction between us; we can sit here in my office, quiet a short time, and be done. CMO Tsang has been examined in this fashion and been privy to other examples of my magic, and I'm sure he'd be willing to discuss the experience with you if it were something you wanted to pursue.

( she chooses not to offer to show him what she showed william; she doubts it'd be taken in the same spirit. if he comes to her later and asks, though, she'll oblige. )

I'll make an appointment for you the jump following this one to discuss your decision.

[troops]

[That's... a lot to think about. Though there is an intense negative reaction to the idea of a blood test (shadows, demons, flesh growing in slick masses from the stone walls), her explanation seems unlike most blood magic he's heard of. It might be a thing to discuss with Dorian, see if he's heard of a brand of blood magic that can discern the specific status of a patient.

Then again, there's what she describes as her abilities, which seems no less invasive and involves putting himself in the way of an even more unknown brand of magic. It all makes his stomach churn.

Of course, the third option is walking away, dealing with the remainder of his withdrawals and letting Evangeline make this choice when she reaches the end of her lyrium supply. He doesn't want to do that- but what choice is there?]

...you've given me a lot to think about.

[Cullen moves to stand then, reaching out to tuck the chair back where it had been originally.]

I'll speak to a few people and consider your options carefully.

[milagros]

Good. Obviously, the latter option is going to be the easiest in terms of forward motion, but as you've stated your discomfort with magic, ( it is impressive that she manages to say that without any hint of dryness, nothing droll, neutrally matter of fact, ) I'm happy to perform the blood tests as an alternative to treatments derived from witchcraft and I have confidence that they will be as effective.

You are also, of course, free at any point to choose to pursue a course of treatment with someone else working in the medical bay or a specialist you can locate elsewhere. Unfortunately, due to our current staffing situation, what I can offer you in terms of nonmagical treatments is essentially the only nonmagical option that we have available for your specific needs. That said, I had reached out to Xenogen for assistance with my previous lyrium-related patient.

Dr Knutson may still have some of those files-- if there are options that they can offer you and you wish to pursue, I will forward them any of my findings and my recommendations.

[troops]

Of course.

[He manages a wry smile as she presents his options again, nodding in a genuine thanks, even if he's not sure he'll take her up on her method of aid.]

I have a friend in Xenogen. I'll consult him as well.