( open ) why are you my remedy?

[mindtricks]

CHARACTERS: cassandra anderson + you
LOCATION: her quarters, kitchen, gunnery, gym, etc.
WARNINGS: blood tbh
SUMMARY: anderson dealing with the physical effects of the current plot
NOTES: starters in comments!

Comments

open ▶ kitchen

[mindtricks]

[ anderson has some practice in ignoring pain, but the headache makes it hard to focus on anything but that, pounding in her head and resulting in a trickle of blood from her nose now and again. she's taken to carrying a tissue with her, flecked with red more often than not.

even with the headache and bleeding, she still needs to eat. she's never been much of a cook, but now her diet consists almost entirely of some bread. anyone making their way to the kitchen might find her hunched over, usually straight posture broken and her shoulders curving in while she steadies her head with one hand or presses the tissue to her nose, holding her food with the other.

she'll offer apologetic smiles, maybe even a sorry if anyone's reaction to the blood is disgust or worry about hygiene. ]

Re: open ▶ kitchen

[cantfixtime]

[Serah's one of the last people to be affected-- which is why she's lucky enough to actually make herself a decent meal in the kitchen, but that doesn't mean she isn't noticing Anderson. After watching her struggle for a while, Serah decides she can't continue to ignore the lady, even to save Anderson some dignity. Serah comes to stand next to her, bending over to try and look her in the face.]

Are you alright?

[mindtricks]

[ anderson hadn't been the first - but she's in the first third or so to get the symptoms and if she hadn't realised that the duration of their stay here has an impact, she would now.

anderson looks up when serah addresses her now, though she's of course been aware of her presence before. her mutation means that even with her eyes closed, it's impossible not to notice people around her, unless they're like severus snape - him, she couldn't read at all. ]

Not really. [ but her tone is resigned more than anything else. she isn't all right, but there doesn't seem to be much any of them can do about it. ]

[cantfixtime]

[Serah puts her arm on Cassandra's shoulder, looking around for something like a towel for her to give the girl. She looks in her bag, too, for her chocobo. Maybe they could heal this up.]

What can I do for you? You can have some of my food, if you like, once I make it.

[mindtricks]

[ it's such an easy gesture, unthinking physical touch offered as comfort, and anderson drops her head forward and smiles despite the pain. ]

I'd like that. [ really, she's getting a little tired of sandwiches, but she hardly has the energy to make anything more involved. ]

[cantfixtime]

Okay.

[Finally finding something towel like, Serah hands it over.]

It's just gonna be eggs or something like that. Is that okay with you?

[mindtricks]

[ she takes the towel - or dish rag, really? - and presses it to her nose, not to still the bleeding so much as to keep it off everything else.

a little muffled: ] That would be great.

open ▶ gym

[mindtricks]

[ she's been offering self-defense lessons for almost as long as she's been here, but the headache is debilitating. still: inactivity sits ill with her, and so she forces herself down to the gym where she's supposed to meet her 'students'.

each time one of them shows up, she'll force her shoulders back and her head up, a poor copy of the soldier's posture that usually comes so naturally to her. there are tired lines around her eyes, and dried blood under her nose, if it isn't bleeding at the time. ]

I can offer some pointers, if you want to train. [ she has to close her eyes for a moment to brace against the headache. ] But I can't spar today.

[glacius]

[This month has become particularly rough for Glacius. The headaches hadn't been too bad--he'd been forced to operate under far worse pain many times before in his life--but when the pain had picked up and the persistent bleeding had kicked in, he'd found himself getting more and more worried. These sort of symptoms were troubling enough as is; but here, he was separated from his own kind and all of their medicine. If this was the predecessor to something more serious, he could be in a whole hell of a lot of trouble... with no one to turn to.

The best he can do is try to keep himself in good shape; eating, drinking, and sleeping regularly, plus exercise when he felt like he had the strength. So when Cassandra valiantly brings herself into the gym, she'll see a massive icy alien trying to weather this whole ordeal in a similar fashion. Though he's doing his best attempts to hide it, the stress and pain is really wearing him down; the blows he's landing on the punching bag he's chosen lack their usual vigor, and he's breathing heavily.

When the alien hears someone address him he whips around and stumbles, backing up a few steps. He's getting more used to humans being accepting of him, having been on board the Tranquility for two months now... but the fear of being caught out while he's weak is still prevalent. There's a clearish purple blood leaking from his nose and his green eyes look tired, wary.] Ah... it is... it is fine. I find myself in similar straits.

[mindtricks]

[ anderson is a little past the point of trying to keep up a healthy lifestyle to counter the headaches and bleeding. drinking a lot of water doesn't seem to help, and painkillers have less of an effect than physical contact does, which is strange but at least it's a solution of sorts.

only she can't constantly cuddle someone, and inactivity doesn't sit particularly well with her. still: there's some relief in her expression when he doesn't take her up on the offer. she'd rather not have to pay close attention, for all that she's willing to, for all that she offered. ]

Ah. [ that's a noise of acknowledgement. then, not quite an offer, she adds - ] Physical contact helps with the symptoms.

[glacius]

[The alien grunts, squinting at the human. One of his brows twitches as another jab of pain bolts through his skull.] What do you... how? [It's not exactly good news; being a highly reclusive being, he'd ever considered getting up and close with someone. He's not even sure who would offer that sort of thing to him if he was seeking it out.]

[mindtricks]

I don't know how.

[ when the jab of pain bolts through his skull, anderson winces. she's generally good at separating her own self from others and her own mind from that of the people around her, but the headache is wearing her defenses thin and her mutation conveys thought and emotion and sensation all the same. ]

Just that it does.

[glacius]

Wonderful. [The alien resists the urge to rub at his throbbing temples. This is absurd... if it's true. The human could be attempting to fool him, though he somehow doubts it given that she seems to be suffering the same thing as him.]

[mindtricks]

[ anderson nods, slowly, and then holds out a hand to him, palm up, a silent invitation to take it. even just holding hands helps with the headaches, and it'll alleviate his doubts at the same time. ]

[oversight]

[ It just so happens that Blake and Anderson are of similar minds. Having no interest in suspending his typical routine hasn't served him too well so far, but Blake's something of a creature of habit and he just can't get past the urge to stop by the gym — if he was a wagering man he'd say a couple sit-ups won't do him much harm one way or another.

Of course, this isn't his usual appointment. He's generally around when no one else is, sometimes on a different level all together, but for whatever reason he was drawn here on this day. ]

—Anderson, hey. Not interruptin' am I? [ He hitches a thumb in the direction of the door. ] If you're teachin', I can go.

[mindtricks]

[ a couple sit-ups probably won't do him much harm, but that isn't to say they'd be particularly pleasant to do in his current state. anderson's reached a point where she knows that strenuous physical activity isn't really possible, not with her head pounding as it is.

she hears him coming before she sees him, and her expression is as friendly as she can still manage with blood crusted underneath her nose and light hurting her eyes more than she'd like to admit. ]

I'm in no state to teach. [ that's the sad truth of it, and it's an invitation for him to stay at the same time. ]

[oversight]

[ He suspects it's okay to stay even if she's not specifically saying one way or another. Of course, that means he needs to actually do something.

Blake nods and drifts over to the wall to brace himself while he takes off his shoes. ]

It's been kinda tough doin' anything, lately. The damn headaches— [ He gestures vaguely. ] Christ, find myself sick of thinkin' 'bout it, but it's always on my mind.

[ ... ]

Bad joke. Sorry.

[mindtricks]

[ anderson doesn't quite laugh, but the next exhale is a huffed out breath, amusement that doesn't quite manage to penetrate the haze of exhaustion and pain. ]

It was terrible.

[ the joke; talking about that is at least better than talking about the headaches. complaining it doesn't really fix it.

after a moment, she lifts one hand. ] We could - [ wiggling it a little, shrugging. hold hands, she means. ]

[oversight]

[ It doesn't quite register — his head hurts and he's certain for a second she's wiggling her fingers at someone behind him, but there's a wall there so— Eventually the idea sinks in and he lets out a huffing breath and then offers his hand out in concession. ]

Yeah, okay.

[ Contact is... generally on his terms and fleeting at best, but he can't imagine this being too uncomfortable for either of them. ]

This isn't the workout I was imaginin'. You sure you don't wanna skip 'round hand-in-hand?

closed ▶ charles xavier

[mindtricks]

[ the symptoms are alleviated by physical contact with others, and while anderson doesn't quite understand the why of it, touching someone is relief enough from the pain that she doesn't really care about the why of it. it helps; that's enough for her right now.

of course, there aren't a great many people aboard that she's willing to just ask for prolonged physical contact, that she'd be entirely comfortable touching for long periods of time outside the context of sparring or training. charles is perhaps the one person she's most comfortable with, and she's sought him out for comfort before. it reminds her a little of that time she'd showed up on his doorstep hungover and with the world tilting dangerously around her. she'd known the why of it then, and that it would be temporary. the sensation isn't entirely dissimilar now, and she rests her head against the wall next to his door while waiting for him to open.

he'll know why she's here, anyway. it's not like their minds are not constantly playing off one another, almost intertwined when they're near each other. ]

[forgodssake]

[ He does know she is there. He does know why. With his ability back and more active than it's been in a long time, this entanglement settles in like an embrace even beyond the scope of his deliberate will. It's an odd kind of immediate exposure; she can tell he is in pain in the same way she is in pain, that the smell and taste of blood seems to be borderline constant, and also, for some reason, that his own chronic pain condition is beginning to return, creeping up his spine with the inevitability of creeping vines.

But it doesn't stop him from getting out of bed, and waving the door open. He is dressed comfortably, for a day of rest already, all his clothing standard issue from the Tranquility save for the cardigan he has pulled over his T-shirt. There's a labrador settled on the second bed, who sleepily lifts his head and pricks his ears in interest. The gentle thump thump thump against the bed linens, of his tail beginning to wag. ]

Hello, [ sounds a little raw, glad enough to see her, though. With all the bleeding, Charles is foregoing drinking alcohol, or even smoking -- water, mainly, and a constant but not inappropriate course of NSAIDs from medical. ]

[mindtricks]

[ there isn't any comfort to be found in the fact that others are suffering the same way she is. if anything, the opposite is true. even if the pain of others didn't intrude on her mind, anderson has never appreciated seeing others hurt. ]

Hi. [ he opens, and she steps inside, smiling first at charles and then at the labrador. her own german shepherd is at her quarters still.

quietly, perhaps unnecessarily given that she only needs to look to be able to tell - ] How are you?

[forgodssake]

[ He lets her in, sort of-- indicates to her, through swift and subtle mental nudges, the things she is welcome to, like the water jug and glasses on the dresser, the painkillers he has stashed in his drawer, if she's not already on top of it.

Charles retreats, meanwhile, back to his own bed, settling at a crawl to where he'd been reclined before she arrived, sitting up against gathered pillows atop bedsheets. It's dark, in here, the lights dimmed right down to a gentle sort of ambient glow. There is tangible relief she can pick up on from him once he is settled and unmoving. ]

Never better. You?

[mindtricks]

Great.

[ it's an absent-minded answer, not overly sarcastic in tone for all that the word is, of course, entirely untrue. she takes his invitation to some water and one of the painkillers.

once she's swallowed it down with long sips of water, she stands at the edge of the bed, glass still lifted halfway and hovering there. hesitation is probably unnecessary, and yet she pauses, a quiet nudge to his mind, can i- an unasked question.

physical touch helps, and that's why she's here, but she can't quite bring herself to crawl onto his bed and settle against him without explicit invitation. ]

[forgodssake]

[ Fair enough, really.

Charles has tucked his arm up over his eyes while she sorts herself out around water and painkillers, because beyond medicating, perfect stillness and darkness seem to be ready helpers against the sharp shocks of headache knifing through his temples. Maybe if he is obedient in this way, he won't also bleed a lot from the face.

When he feels Cassandra hesitate, that arm lifts, opening up his body language. A burst blood vessel or two has flooded white with crimson at the corner of one of his eyes, more noticeable in flicking glance aside to regard her as he holds out a hand to help her into settling with him as she likes. ]