DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS

[thecoldshoulder]

CHARACTERS: Algidus (thecoldshoulder) and Carlisle (tongueamok).
LOCATION: In the jungle that lines the camp.
WARNINGS: BIRDS
SUMMARY: Shrine-building adventures turn into self-esteem building exercises at the expense of local wildlife.
NOTES: Backdated to the beginning of February.


It has been some time since the mysterious Crickets had decided to make themselves known to the survivors living in the shadow of the Tranquility's wreck. Algidus had been among the group of people working the wall that had first spotted the returning crowd; out of everyone that had been taken, Carlisle had been one of the only one he'd recognized. He also recognized the fact that the man was probably going to be the easiest to get to cough up information... and even though there wasn't much available at the time, he'd agreed to let Algidus know if he learned anything else about them in the future.

So today the ice alien was going to take him up on it. He'd been out in the jungle hunting quite a bit, and those excursions had brought him into direct contact with the maddened, infected wildlife. He'd gotten used to those brief and furious bursts of conflict; he even reveled in it. What was considerably more surprising was when a group of the Crickets themselves showed up during one of the scuffles; at first Algidus had been defensive, wondering if they had come to attempt and take him prisoner as they had done with the others. Apparently they had other plans, working with quick efficiency to help him put down the pack of creatures that he'd been fighting with. After that they vanished into the jungle as quickly as they had come, seeming just as wary of the ice alien as he was of them.

What had started out as a chance occurrence quickly became repeated impromptu hunting sessions. They Crickets appeared to have a vested interest in controlling the population of the infected animals, and Algidus had provided himself adept at hunting them. Through these semi-frequent encounters, he was even able to develop a rapport with specific Crickets that recognized him... and had learned to interpret their odd bursts of telepathically projected images and colors as sorts of "names". For all intents and purposes, the other aliens seemed helpful enough, but Algidus was not ready to let his guard down just yet. He needed more information; he needed to know if anyone else had made contact with the Crickets in a similar manner. Carlisle had promised to let him know if he had learned anything else, so the man was a the natural starting point. Lucky him.

The ice alien didn't know exactly where the man had settled, so he spent some time picking through the camp, poking his head under awnings and looking in tents to try and find the timid human. It was probably one of the least efficient ways of searching, and it forced Algidus to make a mental note to keep better track of the people that were agreeing to be his informants. Luck was on his side today, however, as he eventually caught sight of the man heading towards a particular dwelling... it looked a little run-down, which must have happened while Carlisle had been in the custody of the crickets. He didn't seem like the sort to let his living space go to ruins. Algidus was quick to swoop up on the man, but the moment he poked his head inside he saw an odd furnishing, comprised of rocks and bark and other miscellany, and his questions about alien life and their potential schemes were waylaid for the moment.

"What are you... what is that?" The alien asked, frowning, forgetting in his curiosity that he had basically barged in on the man and hadn't even properly greeted him. It was definitely not the best way to go about striking up conversation with Carlisle, especially given how easily frightened the man could be, but Algidus had a lot of questions on his mind and they were taking up his full attention. Sometimes it was hard to stay his inquisitive streak.

Comments

[tongueamok]

Since his return to the camp, Carlisle had been trying to get his life back in order. The changes to the camp, while necessary, had left the site feeling foreign to him, as though he didn't belong there anymore. Repairing his ramshackle abode seemed like a logical first step toward making himself at home again, but no matter how he tried to push the walls back into position or replace the ceiling, it just didn't feel like a sanctuary. It never would, if he was honest with himself, but there had to be some way of making it, at the very least, acceptable.

Rebuilding his shrine seemed like a far more manageable goal, and so, upon fixing his roof to where his shelter would be tolerable if it rained, he turned his focus toward the comforting familiarity of his religious practices. Much like the rest of his home, the shrine had been in complete disarray upon his return. That had partially been his own fault -- it had been outside the shack before, so moving it inside seemed like a grand idea. Reconstructing it would take but time and new materials: he had plenty of the former, but the latter had sent him into the jungle a few afternoons, and even then, his scavenging hadn't been terribly successful.

Curiously, his mind had turned to the wreckage a few times in the past several days, pondering what he could gather there for his endeavor. Those thoughts were quickly dismissed -- the wreck was dangerous, as he'd seen well enough with the salvage team. That, and the Camisou favored the natural elements of the world. There was nothing natural about that ship, nor anything it had done... and yet, he couldn't fully pry that notion, that inkling that he should scavenge the ruined vessel, from the back of his mind.

And so, Carlisle had busied himself instead. Scribbling down a small list of objects he still needed for an appropriate altar, he didn't hear Algidus approach his home -- so was his distraction that it wasn't until the alien spoke that he was even aware he was being watched. His pen scratched sharply across the page of his journal, a jagged line following behind it on the paper as he stiffened in alarm. So much for that list.

"Des—" He stopped himself, turning to his visitor as he substituted a politer profanity. "Cisth, don't do that. Knock, heavens."

His shrine was in as many pieces as his home, but it looked like he was beginning to put things in order: a tower of small, metal boxes served as a pedestal, atop which sat two long pieces of bark. Pebbles were arranged atop the wood, following along the outside -- there were a few gaps in the lines, pieces not yet found. On the ground next to the shrine was a pile of assorted treasures: smooth stones, branches, colorful leaves and flower petals, all awaiting their placement in the final design.

"It's a shrine," Carlisle answered, capping his pen and closing his book. "Or what I've been able to make of one. I thought having a suitable place of worship might help my nerves, as well as make this a proper home. Well, as proper as it'll get."

[thecoldshoulder]

Carlisle's reprimand gets little more than a sneer from the alien, who has found amusement yet again in how easy it is to startle the man... nevermind the fact that if had been the man barging in on his residence, he would have requested the exact same thing. He seems to realize that belatedly, the importance of space, so his glee at the expense of the other quiets somewhat and he very briefly dips his head. It's not a very committal display of apology, but it's better than most people get with Algidus.

When he lifts it again, his eyes immediately go to the shrine. "So you humans have Makers too, then?" He doesn't seem terribly opposed to the idea, but then again he was not a religious person, himself. Let other ice aliens squabble over the idea of whether or not all species spawned from their Makers--if their gods were the only gods in the universe-- or if each had their own; that was a conversation he was decidedly not interested in getting into right now, when there were much more pressing topics at hand. Still, he can't help but notice, "... It doesn't look very proper. It looks like it's... missing some things. To say the least."

[tongueamok]

"Ah, yes!" Carlisle answers, thrilled to hear someone speaking of makers, gods, deities -- it's a subject he holds in high regard, and not just because of his chosen profession. His enthusiasm is stifled almost immediately as Algidus, a complete stranger to his religion, both notices and points out the flaws in his shrine. "Ah, yes," he repeats as he looks back to his altar, somber. "She is missing a few teeth, isn't she? Not actual teeth, as I don't think I could get any here, but I haven't yet found the proper stones I need, nor anything even remotely appropriate to use for her eye. And then there's the tongue, which, um... hm."

He returns his attention to Algidus, scratching at his chest, feeling the lump where his holy symbol hangs beneath his tabard. "I was considering heading out again to look for materials for it, if you'd like to accompany me."

[thecoldshoulder]

Algidus stares, taking a moment to process the invitation. Normally he'd be all too ready to wave it off and head on his way, especially given Carlisle's skittish nature, which provides amusement here and there but could wear on the steely alien over time. However, he's come with a purpose, and he imagines the man will be much less likely to play along if his request for help is blatantly shirked. There's always give and take in these sorts of arrangements and when a matter as intriguing as the crickets are involved, Algidus does not want to risk spurning a willing informant. Getting other humans to play along with him can be like pulling teeth, and the green icy creature doesn't want to subject himself to it any more than is strictly necessary.

So he flares his nostrils, snorts, and shrugs. "Why not, human. You head into the jungle alone and you're likely to be little more than lunch for some of those beasts out there. So you want me to what... beat one into submission and then take its teeth for you?" Not quite getting it there, but at least he's trying to play along.

[tongueamok]

"Er, no," Carlisle corrects with half a smile, despite the fact that Algidus had openly stated a lack of confidence that he could scavenge the jungle alone without getting mauled. To be fair, the clergyman had been captured while wandering alone -- it was better to partner up, to have someone watch his back during even mundane tasks, at least for the time being. They were not alone in the woods; perhaps they never had been.

"I don't need real teeth, though it'd be nice to get my hands on some," he continues, picking up his badger-pelt back and throwing the strap over his shoulder. He pauses, taking one more look around what's left of his home, thinking. He finally decides on what he wants to say, trying to sound as friendly as possible with his suggestion as he gives Algidus a cautious look to accompany his nervous grin: "And, um. Again, my name is Carlisle."

[thecoldshoulder]

For that, Carlisle merely gets a dull, unimpressed stare from the alien. There were very few humans that he gave enough of a shit about to put himself on a first name basis with them... and yet here he was, trying to keep the clergyman at least happy enough with him to keep offering his services as an informant and healer. "Right... Carlisle." When he says the name it sounds more like he's trying to be conciliatory than actually accommodating, but even that effort is more than most people would get from the aloof alien, so there's that.

"If you want real teeth, I can get you real teeth. It won't be pretty work, but it will be fun." His cheekbones pull up into an evil sort of sneer, fully intended to throw Carlisle off-balance again. He likes reminding the man how dangerous he is; he knows it makes the clergyman less likely to wrong him, or try to stab in him the back should he turn out to be that sort of person.

[tongueamok]

That silence that accompanies Algidus' stare seems to stretch on forever; Carlisle manages to hold his anxious, pleading smile until the alien finally relents, saying his name. He lets out a relieved sigh -- being called 'human' rather than his name made him feel less like a person and more like a potential meal, but asking for Algidus to do otherwise had been terrifying in its own right.

But at least it's over and done with -- now comes the hunt, which Algidus describes as though it'd be a recreational activity. "Fun?" Carlisle asks incredulously, sliding past Algidus and out the door. "I'm not sure I'd describe anything involving the acquisition of real teeth..."

He trails off as he glances back toward the alien, catching sight of that sneer and losing his voice as the rest of him stiffens. Though not the outright terror he's experience in past conversations, he's visibly rattled as he tries to continue. "... Er, as fun, though I'm sure it might be for s- someone more, um. Uh."

His mouth opens and closes a couple more times as he struggles for a word; he finally buckles under his anxiety and averts his eyes, despite his best efforts and much to his inward annoyance. He's not sure if it's Algidus' towering height, the spikes jutting from his monstrous form, or the fact that the alien has made a hobby out of intimidation, but he certainly has no trouble unnerving him, even when they're on fairer terms than most.

[thecoldshoulder]

Carlisle's timid mannerisms are only making that sneer widen; as long as he's the source of the clergyman's fear and isn't expected to relieve it, this will probably never get old. In fact, he can't resist the urge to prod a little bit more. Algidus actually claps a large white hand over Carlise's shoulder, letting him know he's not off the hook just yet.

"No no, go on, Carlisle. Someone more what? More alien? More... monstrous?" He lets the implied insult hang for a moment, staring intently at the man. At first he'd merely been continuing to tease, but when that particular word was out of his gills it reminded him of all the unfairness behind the circumstances of his creation. Because he was a monster, wasn't he? A tool created by depraved Technicians to destroy and replace... he'd gotten so used to people seeing him as such that he'd started playing the part, even though he'd very much like not to be...

Algidus huffs out of all eight gills, realizing that even this is getting too close to the dreaded feelings territory. Before he can lose control of his expression he pats Carlisle's shoulder once and then removes his hand, leaning back up. "Well, you're not entirely wrong, I suppose. But don't you humans have a saying about 'being yourself'?" And now he's sneering again, feeling confident that he's swerved out of the way of that touchy subject.

[tongueamok]

"That's not what I meant," Carlisle utters in a hushed tone, his eyes on Algidus' hand rather than meeting his gaze; he shrivels at the touch, as though the physical contact would kill him if continued too long. His relief as Algidus removes his hand is short-lived: the alien's resumed sneering is easily felt, piercing what little stubbornness Carlisle has under his nervous demeanor.

He rubs his shoulder where Algidus' hand had been only moments before, smoothing out his tabard. "I meant someone with more of a taste for violence," he finally clarifies. He swallows down his nerves, taking the only route he knows for deterring the alien from any unfriendly behavior: flattery. "Someone more capable of dealing with the dangers this land has shown us. I can hardly hold a weapon, let alone w- wield one, but you clearly have an abundance of skill to match your imposing appearance."

[thecoldshoulder]

For once the flattery isn't enough to get Algidus to immediately puff--that remark about having a taste for violence seemed to be just another jab--but as Carlisle continues on, he seems to begin gradually taking heart. Sometimes it's just nice to hear someone say nice things about you... even if you have a sneaking suspicion that in this instance, they may only be saying them to save themselves from getting an icy lance through the gut. The alien will take what he can ge;, anything to salve over those deeper-rooted insecurities.

"Well," the icy being replies, straightening back up to his usual proud bearing, "Your assessment is correct. I am a very skilled warrior, and I fear not what waits out in the jungle... and with such a force at your side, neither should you. So. Shall we proceed in your... teeth hunt?" He's still not quite sure what else is supposed to go into this bizarre shrine, so for now he's focusing on the information that he does have, even if it's the most grisly aspect.

[tongueamok]

"Yes," Carlisle agrees, pleased his attempt at to redirect Algidus' threatening glares worked for the moment. "Yes, let's."

He cocks his head in one direction, a motion to follow, and leads the way out of the camp.

"Now," he starts as they near the fence that surrounds the settlement, his voice edging on excitement, "again, I don't need real teeth, though it will be fantastic for the teeth to actually be teeth rather than stones. And then there's the tongue, but I would prefer to use a root for that. More thematically appropriate, and not as grisly as putting an actual tongue on an altar. I can't imagine anyone actually doing that, can you?"

Carlisle chuckles to himself, as though he hadn't been talking more to himself at the end there.

[thecoldshoulder]

Algidus sighs, tosses his head and rolls his eyes, and then follows after Carlisle as he leads the way out of the camp. So this is still happening. Sure. He put himself up for it... now all he can do is hope that he doesn't regret actually lending a hand to a human. They have a tendency to get on his nerves... and it's already starting.

"The only real tongue I'm thinking of taking is yours," the alien groans, kneading briefly at his icy temples once. "I already said that I could procure real teeth for you. Why waste time with any other stipulations? You will get what you seek, hu--Carlisle, but only if you stop second-guessing yourself at nearly every step."

[tongueamok]

That gets him to shut his trap. "Er, right," he utters apologetically. "Yes, real teeth then. We'll have to find something out there with teeth to take, but teeth it is."

He's silent for a minute or two after that. After they've put some distance between themselves and the camp, he slows his gait, not sure if Algidus wants to take the lead on the part where they find something and pry its jaws open. "My apologies for my uncertainty regarding this. I do appreciate you coming with me. It's been some time since I tried anything beyond scavenging for my shrine. Hunting isn't exactly my favorite hobby, if you couldn't guess."

[thecoldshoulder]

Algidus does not seem particularly intent on taking the lead this time around. As far as he's concerned, this is Carlisle's expedition; the man knows what he's looking for, while the alien is just hear to keep an eye out and hopefully kill something, or many somethings. He slows when the clergyman does, an air of disinterest about him.

"I could guess," the alien shrugs, "You're far too timid for your own good, you know. Every now and then I have to wonder why; doesn't it only make life harder to bear? If this was just reserved for me I would say you had proper sense, but I get the feeling that isn't the case here. What makes you so... afraid of everything?"

[tongueamok]

He watches as Algidus slows, and realizes he's being given the reins regarding this venture. While he doesn't look terribly thrilled by the idea, he does start walking again the moment the alien questions his demeanor.

"Do we not all fear our own demise? What awaits us on the other side?"

[thecoldshoulder]

"Not all of us. Some of us have come up against our own demise so often that we have learned to accept it as another eventuality of life, and are able to face it boldly. Particularly if we know we have walked an honorable path, in service of our people..." But that makes Algidus trail off again. Is that something he could say he followed any more, every since he was cloned and fell into a life of bitterness and resentment? Algidus would likely say yes; he would say that his conflict with humanity and even Glacius--his own double and an alien of his own flesh and blood--was all to protect them. He had to; the alternative, that he might be spurned by his people for his distorted nature, was far too painful. Often times the thought of returning to them was what kept him going...

The icy alien doesn't want to go down that path right now. Instead he bulls on in the conversation, trying to pin something on Carlisle now instead. "... And the fear of what awaits us on the other side depends entirely on your beliefs. So then, Carlisle, have you done something that makes you fear so openly? Do you fear the judgment of your Maker?"

[tongueamok]

The question strikes Carlisle a little too hard, cuts him a little too deeply. His head turns only a hair as he keeps walking, as though he'd thought about glancing Algidus' way and changed his mind at the last second.

"I've done nothing," he answers quickly. "It's not the gods I fear, but rather what awaits me after life. The, ah" —he stops for a fraction of a second— "they say the Land Beyond Living is not a place anyone wants to see too soon, as that is where we all go in the end."

That much was true -- everyone was told that; however, he didn't need anyone to tell him what it was like. He'd seen enough of it as it was on his first trip.

[thecoldshoulder]

Carlisle's twitchy motion and quick retort are enough to snap up Algidus' attention, but he decides not to push this for now. After all, if he's going to entertain any sort of arrangement with the clergyman, he doesn't want it to be one where they're trying to dig up each other's secrets. He doesn't see Carlisle as enough of a threat for that to be warranted, and of course the alien always wants to keep his own affairs to himself...

... So he latches onto the other topic instead. "And what is the Land Beyond the Living like for you, human?" It's a lapse in the protocol that Carlisle requested earlier, but since Algidus is asking about a culture concept here, the impersonal wording feels more apt. At least the name of the concept is approachable--"hell" is a learned term for him. The closest analogue in his species' vocabulary would be "fire", which might give some clue as to what their perception of it is like.

[tongueamok]

Though Carlisle catches that lapse in protocol, he doesn't address it this time around: he keeps walking, his eyes ahead, searching for movement in the woods.

"Barren," he starts, his tone flat. "Colorless, and cold. Those who are trapped there are damned to wander the plane, their souls never finding rest. I have learned here that other worlds have other gods, and therefore, they likely have some equivalent of the Land Beyond Living as well."

He finally looks over his shoulder to his companion. "Is that the case where you come from, Algidus?"

[thecoldshoulder]

"It is, though I don't know how much of that I personally buy into. My people's gods are called Makers, and as such, are believed to be grand and powerful beings that were responsible for the creation and shaping of my people, our homeworld, and the system around it. They do not exist in the physical realm, and some believe that our Makers were responsible for the creation of every galaxy, every universe... but after seeing what I have, I do not believe that to be the case."

The universe that he was pulled to before he was dragged here, to this humid ball of dirt and plant life, had been a deeply twisted one where they were all condemned to suffer to keep some dark gods placated. If gods of one universe were real then he supposed it stood to reason that his Makers could be, as well, and anything that created his wonderful and just people could never be so terrible or corrupt... those seemed to be remarkably human traits, and so he did not believe that his Makers had any hand in the creation of that universe.

Anyways, he's not about to touch on his past... even if he's curious to learn if anyone else here had come from the Box like he and AJ had, he doesn't want to risk giving out any information that may reveal his cloned nature. He bulls right on by. "So yes, we also have an equivalent of the Land Beyond Living. Your realm is cold and barren, but ours is a land scorched by ever-burning flames, flames that are to sear the souls of the damned clean from both the physical and metaphysical planes... is a slow, long-lasting agony. But our Makers are not vengeful. They care for their creations, so to cast any one of us away causes them such pain... and so they are always waiting for the lost to redeem themselves, so they do not have to damn them to such a fate."

[tongueamok]

"They do sound generous," Carlisle notes somberly. "The deities who created the world I'm from -- the Camisou and the Domu -- are not quite as benevolent to those who would break the rules they've set forth."

He catches how awful that sounds somewhere in the pause after the statement has left his lips -- he is speaking ill of his gods and their decisions, talking as though some laws should be rewritten. It's not something a man of his status and profession should honestly express, and he does his best to cover for it immediately, just in case his gods are listening in this strange world.

"Ah, but the number of the irredeemable are minimal," he clarifies. "Most of us are meant to return to the earth, as that is the way they would rather it be."

[thecoldshoulder]

"If that is true, then surely you, a man of faith, have little to worry about from this 'Land Beyond Living'. Or do you believe yourself to be one of the few irredeemable?" Algidus watches the man carefully as he speaks. He know he pledged in his mind just a moment earlier to not go digging for secrets, but the way Carlisle is speaking and behaving about this topic is making him intensely curious. He'd always assumed the clergyman was just naturally timid, but now he's wondering if he's jumpy because he's trying to cover something up, and is perpetually worried about it being revealed. What that could be, exactly, the ice alien has no idea--but if it could be something dangerous, he'd prefer to know about it.

[tongueamok]

Carlisle's response is immediate -- and defensive. "Of course not," he insists with a glare over his shoulder, his voice louder than before as Algidus cuts too close to things he'd rather left unsaid. The suddenness of his remark breaks the relative silence surrounding them, and the trees shift with life as a few winged lizards go flying from the nearby vines. Their appearance spooks Carlisle: he freezes and pulls in a gasp through gritted teeth, his eyes casting themselves to the trees above, watching for anything that might attack them.

As the creatures climb into the canopy and vanish completely, he exhales in relief, his fingers still tightened around the strap to his badger-pelt bag. As he continues, he lowers his voice so as not to disturb any more of the local fauna, even though hunting is the reason they're out there.

"I am a cleric in service of the Camisou herself," he responds, turning to Algidus. "I, of all people, have no reason to be one of the irredeemable."

[thecoldshoulder]

That immediately defensive posturing is doing absolutely nothing to convince the alien of his innocence, but fortunately for Carlisle it isn't in his nature to go prying into someone else's personal affairs. Besides, he doesn't really care if a human is damned or not; as far as he's concerned that's something the entire species should be more worried about. He just folds his arms and stares dubiously as the man gets spooked yet again, completely unbothered by the fleeing wildlife.

"If you say so... Carlisle." Algidus swerves, just barely remembers that he's supposed to be using this human's name now. "But actions speak much louder than words, and if I may say so, you do not seem entirely sold on the matter yourself." Maybe that's why he's being so adamant about this shrine business... an attempt to appease this "Camisou", perhaps? As if he's just now remembering why they came out here in the first place, the towering ice alien finally pries his skeptical gaze from the man and starts looking around idly.

"Is there anything here that you can use, or do we need to progress further?"

[tongueamok]

Willing to drop his offense in favor of changing from what was, ultimately and obviously, a touchy subject for the clergyman, Carlisle looks around. He beelines for one of the trees, taking the excuse to avert his eyes from the icy giant.

"I could use some of this bark," he says as he reaches into his bag, producing a crude knife. Jamming the blade's edge into the tree, he yanks downward on the weapon, scraping off a sizable piece. "I think we'll need to go deeper if we want any actual teeth, though. What might have had teeth around here just took off into the sky, so unless you're better at climbing than I am, I expect we'd be better off continuing our search."