ataraxionlogs | You Are Not the Father ...oh wait.

CHARACTERS: Newt and Wash
LOCATION: Base camp and the jungle
WARNINGS: Mentions of graphic death, aliens and child death
SUMMARY: Newt and Wash both have their memories back. Some things need to be resolved.
NOTES: backdated to before the jump and basecamp destruction

It starts with nightmares, ones she wakes from, screaming and with the urge to run and hide. Her dad is always there though and that makes them a little better.

At least it does until she remembers her dad dying. The small monster ripping out of his chest at home. And after that all her memories come back in a mess. He dad, her real dad is dead. Her mom is dead, her brother is dead and she can't stop seeing them die when she closes her eyes. She can't be around people right now, she's scared and sad and ...and he isn't her dad he's going to remember that too and then she'll be alone because Ripley was still gone.

So she slips out of camp at mid morning to find the tree she's located recently. Jones she leaves in camp to sleep and also because he doesn't like heights. Finding the tree, she climbs up it with her doll's head to cry alone.

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He's been trying to piece the memories together for a while. Trying to figure out why Newtie's nightmares don't line up with what he remembers on the first ship.

And eventually it all comes back. That they're not even from the same place. That his daughter is the baby in the photos. His daughter that he'll never meet. And Newtie is just...

A scared little girl. All alone. So when he notices that she's gone, he has to go looking for her. "Newtie?"

She's in the tree still but's not too far from camp. She's still smartly afraid of what might be in the forest after all. Being tiny helped on the ship, here it doesn't so much.

But she's still good at staying silent, which is why her tears as fading as she just stares at the tree. She might be able to hear him now. She stays where she is.

He'll be able to see her soon though and she hunches her limbs closer together as though she can make herself vanish into the tree.

Wash knows Newt's a climber. She might not be his daughter, but he's still known her long enough to figure that out. So he looks up and eventually spots her in the tree.

"There you are, you had me worried there." She might be used to being alone, but that didn't mean she should. She was just a kid.

She looks down at him but doesn't move. Not the best spot for a conversation but she doesn't want to talk. She wants to hide away. She wants Ripley to show up and rescue her. She want her family to be alive and for all of this to be a really long bad dream.

But none of that happens and she's still in the tree.

River wasn't his child either, but he remembers having to talk to her like this. Having to coax her out when something he couldn't even define spooked her. "It's okay, sweetie. There's nothing dangerous right here."

He couldn't lie and say there was nothing dangerous at all. Not on this planet. She was a clever kid. She'd call him on it.

She would. Instead she watches him closely before her gaze flickers to the sides. No monsters yet. Yet.

After a long moment of staring she tucks her doll's head in her pocket and climbs down the tree.

Once she's safely down from the tree, Wash wraps his arms around her. Now's not the moment to tell her he knows he's not actually her father. She needs him right now. "I've got you, okay?"

She wants a hug, she really does. But it hurts because if this were yesterday then she'd be getting a hug from her dad. And now she knows she was wrong, he was wrong and her real dad....her daddy.

She sniffs and tries to wipe her eyes.

"I remember."

"About before Tranquility?" The things she'd been having nightmares about. The things he doesn't know for himself.

That meant she knew. But he still wasn't letting go. She still needed someone.

"Yes."

There is a long pause.

"A monster killed daddy. I saw it."

So you know, not you.

"That must have been scary." Newt's way too young to have had to go through that.

Not him. He knew that already. Not for long, but he knew it. "But you're safe right now, okay? I'm still gonna be here."

"But....you're not my daddy."

"I know." He'll never actually get to have someone call him that. Not unless time gets really strange anyway, and he doesn't want Emma here. "But that doesn't mean I don't care about you or want to keep you safe."

Even before all this, she had mattered a lot.

"Even if ...we were wrong?"

About them being family. Because it had been nice to have family. Even now with her memories of seeing them all die. She remembers having Ripley around, calling her mommy and that hadn't been betraying her old mommy. But it's really confusing now.

"Even then." He sounds so sure of that. "Family's not just blood. That's what I've been remembering. The ship I was on, the whole crew was like a family." That's how he knew Emma would be okay, no matter what.

"So if you need a dad, or an uncle, or just some family there's not really a word for, you've still got me."

She thinks this over for a long moment.

"Okay. ....can I still call you dad?"

It doesn't take these strange new abilities to realize there were a lot of complicated feelings right now.

"If that's what you want." He hadn't wanted to muscle in on her real father's territority if that wasn't what she wanted. "I liked being your dad when we couldn't remember."

He would have really liked this whole dad thing. That got more obvious all the time.

She nods. Then pauses because she has to ask.

"Are you sure you want to be my dad? I'm going to have bad dreams a lot, and I think I'm bad luck."

"Way I see it, if you're gonna keep having nightmares, it sounds like you really need a dad." And right now, he was probably the best option. It wasn't like it was out of his way to worry about her.

"Just because bad things happened to you doesn't mean you're bad luck. Just means you've had some." And hadn't they all, really? Or they wouldn't be here.

She thinks this over for a long time then shakes her head. Very serious still.

"No but everyone around me gets killed or goes away. Mommy and Daddy and Billy and everyone else in the colony. They all died but me. Then all the soldiers died but me and Ripley and Hicks and Bishop. And they were really, really hurt. Bishop got ripped in half." She's talking quickly but still serious because she likes him and what if...

"And then on the ship Ripley was there and she said we'd be alright but then they took her away from me. And...and then Evangeline said she'd look after me but she's gone too now. ....so you might die or go away too if you say that."

"I'm not going to promise to not disappear. You're smart enough to know we don't control when the ship does that." Because otherwise a lot of people would have stayed to take care of the people they loved.

He might not be able to tell where the fear was coming from through the weird ship thing. But where else would it be? "What I am going to promise is that as long as we're both here, I'm going to take care of you. For as long as I possibly can. Because I love you."

Newt goes quiet, head dropping down before nodding.

"Okay."

She's not close to tears, you're close to tears. But she hasn't heard that in a really long time, not since Ripley left and before Ripley even longer. And she's brave and tough but she's still only seven.

You Are Not the Father ...oh wait.

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