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CHARACTERS: "Todd"/Guide, James T. Kirk, and all volunteers
LOCATION: Medical Bay
WARNINGS: Extensive description of the Wraith feeding process, and internalized self-loathing. Possible profanity.
SUMMARY: You can never win, you can only break even. With a Wraith, you can't break even - even if you are one.

He's growing used to the fire in his bones, and the thought disgusts him more than he would dare to admit. This repetition of siphoning off a bit of life and then slowly starving again is not the way of a Queen's man. It is short-sighted - but the kine are a short-lived species, as it should only be that they cannot imagine so far into the future. Yet he has agreed to this deal, and their short-sightedness is his own. It will not be long before he starves again, and then more humans will have to sacrifice themselves to him. So this vicious cycle will begin anew.

He kneads the dark vein that winds itself abound his wrist so that it does not swell with enzyme, but he closes his fist as he does so. He can grow used to the fire in his bones, but never shall he look upon a hungry hand without shame.

Guide waits in the medical bay, squinting at the too-bright lights. When he has the strength to do so, he stands; when he hasn't, he rests, sitting as regally as one can in torn leathers.

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Sulu's vaguely aware that this is the sort of scene that...he doesn't want to call it nightmarish. But it's unpleasant. It's the kind of thing he wishes they didn't have to condone, and the kind of thing he hates that Kirk put himself through. He keeps that opinion to himself, because what good is speaking it? Kirk's had arguments with everyone and their mother on this topic. He doesn't need his own crew raising hell over it.

( Though Sulu might, if Kirk goes another round. Insubordination has its time and place, Kirk taught him that, after all. )

He stands more or less at attention, hands clasped loosely behind his back. The longer this drags on the tighter his grip gets, but Sulu reasons that it doesn't matter, because who can see?

"Staying until it's over?"

It's not really a question. Sulu knows Kirk's here till the bitter end.

"Until everyone is stable and he's left," Kirk says, his gaze trailing after Nick, who becomes steadier and steadier as he moves through the line of volunteers. It's minimal, Kirk knows, what the wraith takes from them. That he's living on the smallest rations, and he isn't sure what's more difficult to watch: the deterioration of the wraith, the way his mind starts to go and he becomes weaker and weaker, or watching his people line up like cattle to be fed on.

It turns his stomach, for both reasons. His fingers dig into his bicep, just for a moment, before he forces himself to relax.

"Thought so."

It's sort of typical. Everyone in the Academy knew about James T. Kirk and his view on no-win scenarios. But Sulu is pretty sure they might have stumbled on to one. This can't go on forever. And even if it could, he's not sure the passengers would tolerate it. Anyone can see that streak of gray in Kirk's hair, and it's...

Well, all of this is unsettling, but picking and chosing things to focus on is the way people get through this.

His gaze flicks away from the wraith for a moment, just to catch on the silver at Kirk's temple, then the clench of his fingers. Sulu exhales, steps forward just enough to bump his shoudler against Kirk's. It's pretty paltry, as far as phsyical comfort goes, but Sulu isn't really sure how you go about telling your captain everything is going to be okay in a professional manner, so this will have to do.

Jim glances at him, then, blue eyes coming around to the curve of Sulu's profile. He knows why the pilot is here; even if he says it's for security, that it's probably less the security of the people and more the security of Kirk. It's almost funny, that he's somehow gathered his own personal body guard, and it might be something he jests with Sulu about at a later date.

Bones would say he warrants the supervision because he can't be trusted to his own devices.

It's all in that look, too, and Kirk doesn't say anything because anything he could say to mean thank you wouldn't be enough. That he questions his captain just enough, without being insubordinate. That he trusts him, in what he's doing. That he keeps standing by his side.

If Jim shifts his weight, just slightly, so that only a hair's breath lingers between their shoulders once the bump has been completed, it may not be something anyone else would notice right away.

Bones would say a lot of things. But he's not here, and Sulu's never really been the most vocal of men to begin with, so he settles for just being there, hyperaware of how close they're standing.

Sulu's younger than them both, Spock and Kirk. He's younger and inexperienced and freshly dragged out of Academy, and what he has under his belt is that first mission, has Vulcan and the Narada, has a handful of months on the Tranqulity, and Spock and Kirk have him beat. It doesn't feel like enough. It stills feels like scrambling and posturing, but there are things that he's made for, things he's good at. This might be one of them, sticking to Kirk's side in silent support.

What he wants to say is, you can go, and I'll stay till they're finished, but Kirk wouldn't leave so Sulu bites down around it, like he bites down hard around his objection to that gray streak in Kirk's hair.

"When it's over we can spar. If you want."

Because what better way to take their minds off this than hitting each other with swords.

His mouth quirks, despite himself. Physical activity was something he was weaning back into his life, slowly but surely. Spock had advised rest and recovery, and Jim had been embarrassed to note that it had taken longer than he'd expected. Doing anything other than jogging first thing in the morning had been exhausting for at least a few weeks.

"That's not a bad idea," Jim answers, and it's a genuine thought. Jim happily distracted himself with the physical, if given half the chance. Nothing worked to get aggression and frustration out like it. "I think I was getting the hang of that last move you showed me."

Since he and Jaye had fought, Sulu had...well, not exactly time on his hands, since he split his time a little too evenly without leaving excess, but he had time to devote to fencing. And it felt good, getting back into the swing of that, of swords and the old movements that were as familiar and instinctive as breathing.

And having company wasn't a bad thing either.

"Maybe in due time I can stop going easy on you."

This probably isn't the best place for jokes, but whatever. Sulu figures someone has to lighten the mood.

"You're still going easy on me?" Jim asks, an incredulous note in his voice, and he does glance at Sulu this time just to get the point across. He was a tough guy, he didn't need this little ninja to be taking it easy on him so his pride wasn't wounded.

Honestly, Jim sincerely hoped this wasn't a running theme. Were other members of his crew taking it easy on him, too? His brow furrows just slightly at the thought.

Sulu's eyebrows raise, and he leans, just enough to nudge Kirk off balance. This was skirting the line of professionalism, he's just about certain it is, but the situation calls for levity.

"I'm kidding, Kirk."

Maybe he was. Sulu didn't count leaving out crazy acrobatics as taking it easy, so it's the truth, as far as he's concerned. Fencing wasn't really about aerial manuevers anyway, not in the purest sense of the matter.

He sways under the nudge, just enough for his attention to flick back around to the officer at his side. Jim's gaze narrows, and it's an almost playful sense of accusation. He recognizes what this is, that Sulu is trying to distract him, however slightly. He appreciates it, even though the tension hasn't really left his shoulders.

"That gymnastics crap doesn't count, either. I'm pretty sure that's not fencing, I watched the Olympics on Earth."

There's not a lot Sulu can do. He can't take away what Kirk's feeling, can't get him to leave. But he can soften it, maybe, can blur the edges so it doesn't feel like a sledgehammer.

It's not much, but Sulu does what he can.

"I'm modifying the discipline."

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jim has priorities

lmflakjdg jim.

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