embrace the deception learn how to bend your worst inhibition's gonna psych you out in the end

[became]

CHARACTERS: peter burke ( suit ) + jaye ( tumbleweeds ) + neal caffrey ( became )
LOCATION: Second floor kitchens.
WARNINGS: Trolling of FBI agents, waffle irons, Damned Hipsterism.
SUMMARY: Peter said he wanted to meet Jaye. ( backdated to the 10th or so. )
NOTES: "Aw, Caffrey. You made friends!"

[ space waffle mix is not exactly like neal wants it to be, and the near-blueberries aren't the real thing but in the end they're both close enough to be edible.

(so, fantastic for anyone not a picky little hipster fuck.)

he fires off two identical texts. ]

Waffles? Kitchen, my floor.

[ and no warnings, because he sucks at life. ]

Comments

[became]

[ neal grins but doesn't look up from his waffle iron, tone so very innocent. ] Jaye, meet my elderly aunt from Baltimore. Peter, this is Jaye.

[ he's refusing to allow in any thoughts that peter won't be accepted by the small, patchwork collection of friends and... god knows what to call them (family, maybe) he's collected on the ship; to love neal caffrey is to love peter burke because the neal he's become has everything to do with peter, end of story.

instead he's focusing on the dogged, gleeful hope that jaye will say something and make peter stutter and go red. life goal. ]

[tumbleweeds]

He does, [ Jaye agrees immediately, looking over at the stranger with a tilt of her head. ] They're definitely not going to last long if you share.

[ Not that she's against this man sharing chocolate with her. ] I got a text. And I said smelly aunt, Neal, not elderly. But I think Peter wins, 'cause no old aunts look that good in jeans.

[ Just a little warm-up for you there, hipster unicorn. After a beat, however, she adds: ] Smelly's to be decided. [ As is her overall opinion, but offering chocolate is a good start. ]

[suit]

I'll make sure to take my own bag for if I want to force him to make cookies later. [ Because clearly Neal would be making the cookies apparently. ( No that's not how it works at all. )

But okay then, let's just— Jaye what are you. He's not— compliment, he can take it and roll with it. No need for any sad flirting. ] I'll take that as compliment. And tell you I showered earlier.

So waffles for the three of us then. Ambitious, Neal.

[became]

Do I get a choice in these cookies, or am I chained to the oven like some horrible Lifetime movie? And I took liberties, Jaye. Deviled ham. He eats it like it's an actual food.

[ oh this is the best thing ever, please get weird at her peter. ]

I promised Jaye waffles, I promised you Jaye. Two birds, one stone.

[tumbleweeds]

No one would chain you to the oven, that'd just be a waste. [ She's just going to be blatantly horrible at both of them and see what happens, does that sound good? Sure it does. ]

You have the weirdest thing about food, Neal -- and you promise a lot of things. [ That part doesn't come out quite as carefree as she'd like, a little barb instead; he promised he would come and get her and he didn't. He promised they were on the same team and now Peter's here, so that remains to be seen -- but a reminder never hurts. ] As for the rest...

[ She slips off the counter and is a cat before she hits the ground; small enough not to be a threat, because she doesn't know Peter and would rather not get shot instead of getting waffles. She sniffs at Neal first, checking to see how he's been doing a little more before twining between his legs in a figure-eight, rubbing her little furry body against his ankles (mine). Then she slinks over to Peter, sniffing at his shoes, tail twitching -- and then it's just a jump up to the counter and a shift back like nothing ever happened. ]

Well, at least he used soap.

[suit]

No one is chained to ovens in Lifetime movies. [ Peter why do you know these things? ] And someone might. I've heard of worse.

[ The sad part is that Peter agrees with the barb Jaye makes and before he can entirely stop it, he blurts out. ] He's got a thing about promises, doesn't he? His track record has gotten a little be—

[ There's a moment where Peter just stares as if he's almost unsure that Jaye actually just did what she just did but then he finally makes a move to talk and promptly shuts his mouth. Jaye is a shapeshifter and okay then this isn't creepy at all. When she finally turns back into a human he opens his mouth, once, twice and then proceeds to finally say something. ]

That's what he meant by you speak for yourself. [ A beat. ] I can share.

[ Because spoilers: he's had Satchmo long enough to know what shit like that can mean. ]

[became]

Hey, no. No you two bullying me, I brought her here to torment you.

[ but something held stiff and nervous in neal's frame relaxes, because he knows this one. it's practically a game by now; jones or once and a while diana take his side, peter and his partner shoots them down. it passes time in the van, at least.

shared exasperation is a bonding habit he's used to by now, as is the way jaye twines around his ankles; he grins at peter, winking. ]

I told you. [ and now his own pause. ] ...I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I was the proverbial infant from Solomon's story.

[ which means: YEEEEEEEEEEES I AM THE PRETTIEST PRINCESS FIGHT OVER ME MORE DO IT. ]

[tumbleweeds]

Hey, hey. I am an equal opportunity tormentor, and I came here for waffles.

[ She sounds distracted as she says it though, thoughtfully studying the scene. She's not the best with people, definitely not the best with words -- Neal is from a completely different world, and she gets the feeling that Peter's from a different one too (not the same as Neal, not quite, but different -- stiffer, somehow, more regulated). Then there's her, and she frowns a little, checks her nails before letting her ego take over, cockiness coming up like a shield. ]

You should see what else I can do. [ Her tongue flicks out in the next instant, forked like a snakes. ] And Neal, please. You're a grown manchild. Next to you some of the gods look down right respectable -- and that includes the time Eros got fucked up and kept hitting the wrong people with the wrong arrows.

[ Oh, she didn't mention the god thing, did she Peter? Whoops. ]