ataraxionlogs | who uses a machete to cut through red tape

CHARACTERS: Sarah & Chuck
LOCATION: sarah's room!
WARNINGS: none! unless this needs to be changed, in which case...
SUMMARY: sarah & chuck talk about important talky things.
NOTES: takes place before the most recent jump

[ There were things that needed to be discussed.

That much was obvious, but while Chuck had a thing for talking about his feelings, important conversations still made him nervous. Especially ones that he had to pre-plan for, ones that involved knocking on doors and making statements and talking about important things. Not that he really had anything that important to talk about, but they needed to catch up a little more, him and Sarah. And around here, catching up usually meant talking about death and murder and mayhem, and Chuck wasn't quite sure what exactly he needed to prepare himself for.

And so here he was, outside of Sarah's door. He wasn't even sure if she'd be here or not, but he'd been putting this off for more than a few days longer than he'd wanted to put it off in the first place. He was always so dead set on talking himself blue in the face, and now that he was about to be put on the spot, he just didn't want to hear any more news he wasn't sure he'd be able to take.

Sarah, however, always wins out in the end. With another little inch of a step forward, Chuck finally knocks on Sarah's door before stuffing his hands out of sight and bouncing on the spot, the embodiment of an overly large bundle of nerves waiting to spring out. ]

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[ Rocking on the balls of his feet, Chuck's trying to keep his 'I don't know what the hell i'm doing' vibes down to a quiet roar, but he really doesn't have the slightest clue. He's out of his element, but most of all, he just wants this to work. Whatever this is supposed to be, or even what it isn't supposed to be. ]

I should probably let you start. Because if I start I don't really know what i'd be starting with and then I wouldn't really know where to stop either.

[ He tries offering up a kind of awkward smile, but really he's just nervous and all he wants to do is grab Sarah and tell her that this is what he wants. It's what he's always wanted, but he feels all stuck in a rut without the Intersect and without her and with Shaw and he doesn't know what he's doing anymore. Sarah's supposed to be able to fix it. ] But if I did start, it'd probably be with the fact that I missed you. Except I think Casey missed me too, and that's a whole can of worms i'd rather not dig through.

[Sarah was a bit surprised when Chuck said he wanted her to start if only because she didn't really have any idea what she was doing either. She was better at listening than she was with talking about her feelings so she was kind of just figuring it out as she went along.

She really did miss Chuck though, more than she realized herself until he left. Things were different without him around and she almost felt like a different person which was probably that's part of why she distanced herself when she found out. It only made this place seem that much more real to her compared to when Chuck was around and she really disliked how many unknowns there were about a person leaving the Tranquility, because it made her feel at a bit of a loss and unsure of herself because literally anything could have happened. If they were back at home, she'd know what to do and how to fix it especially if Chuck happened to just disappear like that but it wasn't as simple as that here and her options were a bit limited so she couldn't help but worry but he was back now so that's what mattered.

Sarah didn't respond right away but she couldn't help but be somewhat amused at his comment about Casey though because his assumption was far off about that from what she noticed from her conversations with him] I was getting that impression too but yes, I missed you too, Chuck.

[She smiles back momentarily before continuing] I know things are a bit complicated back home between what you've told me about us and everything else but you have to know that none of that matters. [At least what she was trying to imply is that it doesn't change how she feels about him. Even with everything Chuck told her, it was a bit difficult to judge her own actions or even know how to react to it through hearing it from Chuck's perspective since she hadn't experienced it herself yet. However, as far she was concerned, Sarah knew that she wanted to try and make this work between them] I want the same thing you do and while this place is probably not the most ideal for that, I'm willing to try if you are.

[ To say that Chuck was like a kid in a candy shop would have been inaccurate. It implied he wanted to wanted to run around and grab everything he possibly could, his mind ablaze with all the possibilities, all the things he wanted. Except the one thing he wanted, the only one, was Sarah. And everything that came with her -- her life, her past, her good and her bad. Just her. Chuck had wanted it from day one, and had believed he'd lost it numerous times. Especially when he'd traded in the potential of them being... well, them, so he could go into training. So he could go back. But he had believed he would get her back afterwards. That he'd prove he could be the one thing that would make him altogether, that much more impressive.

And now here he was, and there she was, and she was offering it all over again as if it could just be that simple. And oh, how Chuck wanted to make it work. ]

You still want to? You really do? My... being gone for months didn't change that? I mean with space and you being here and my being, y'know I don't even know where, back home probably-- you still want to try? [ Looking a little like he might skitter off and try to soothe himself or quite possibly attack her face, Chuck's barely containing his nerves. They're all smooshed and compact inside of him, as if he might explode with concern or just plain excitement all at once. Or love, maybe, if it didn't sound so lame. ]

Because I still want to try.

[The thing was that Sarah was in a different mindset emotionally than she would be if she had experienced or even knew of half the things that Chuck was talking about. She decided not to let any of that matter and really it wasn't so much that she was offering again because in her case it was the first time she was saying it to begin with, that she genuinely wanted to try make this work] Of course it didn't change anything— so yes. I really want to try.

[ Chuck is still kind of shocked that it doesn't matter, because he's gotten used to things mattering. Even if Sarah doesn't want them to matter, they do, and even if she pretends like they don't.... they still do. So the fact that they can all just be brushed aside right now, that they can just work without him having to think too much about it (for once in his life) is kind of perfect. In a really Sarah kind of way. ]

Good. Then... good. Then we're on the same page. Some kind of page. [ awkward. ] Probably not a page, more like a really long book that you can't stop reading, because it's really...

[ He might be cringing now and sort of pulling closer because that's better than saying more stupid things. ] How about I just shut up.

who uses a machete to cut through red tape

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