iron rods sewn inside our clothes to keep our glass bodies from breaking. closed.

[ex_question191]

CHARACTERS: stiles & scott.
LOCATION: their room! (014/009)
WARNINGS: nope.
SUMMARY: lydia set us up the bomb, shit goes down, bro-time, etc.
NOTES: backdated a day.


[ stiles is an angry little guy, sometimes. he reads lydia's text and writes a reply, deletes it before he can send it, tosses his comms away with a clatter so the temptation's gone. bounces on the bed, all ventless fury and agitation, heels drumming, lips pressed to white. ]

[ he has no idea what he's gonna do with this information. ]

[ there's no way scott can't tell he's pissed off about something. stiles takes a shaky breath and wonders where to begin, because it's his fault, he bought into this because lydia had sat close to him and touched his knee and made it sound like maybe, in some fantasy universe... whatever, whatever, he's over her, that's not even a thing. but he'd still believed her, and scott had believed him, and now they were— ]

[ stiles doesn't know what they are. if they're actually functional enough to be called pack. ]

Do you like being in Derek's pack?

[ he manages to ask, even though it probably seems like it comes out of nowhere. maybe he can say that he's fought with derek for like, the fifth time in the past month. or maybe lydia's texted scott, too (he's still so mad that it's a text message, but maybe it's good, too, cuts the wet-eyed duckfaced bullshit and just lets him hear her.) ]

Comments

[ex_question191]

[ stiles rests his ear against the pillow, looks over at scott. ]

I feel like shit.

[ he admits, kinda baldly. that's probably obvious. but it's not just anger, he's pretty used to anger about — everything. he just feels like a loser right now, like the fact of the lie has come along with the big old rejection he's spent so long trying to avoid. for all the times stiles has hinted around stuff with lydia, he's never found the balls to ask her out, too certain she'd just laugh at him. ]

I've gotta get over this girl, Scott.

[ he breathes it, helpless and kinda laughing at himself. ]

You know what I mean.

[ because, allison. even though that was totally different because allison was pretty perfect. for scott, anyway. apparently "nice" and "empathic" don't do it for stiles. instead he likes — lydia. but liking lydia is a comfort thing, in some ways. it's gawping at her in the playground and knocking out his two front teeth trying to get her attention on the equipment. it's middle school science experiments and finding the only person in the class who got what they were doing was his angel. she was his first wet dream, she was the girl he told his dad he was gonna marry, she set the mold for every celebrity crush he's ever used to assuage a little lonliness, thank you scarlett johansson, and she just — she was childhood innocence, from a time before his mom died, in a way even scott wasn't. but maybe it's time to grow up. ]

wow how dare you i didn't sign up for this

[workout]

Yeah.

[ because yeah, scott gets it; allison's different in most of the big ways, but there's a common thread in it: allison's something else, something good, some kind of reminder of normalcy that scott thought he had a chance at. even after he'd found out about her family, found out she was right in the middle of all of it - it didn't change anything. she made him feel normal. and when he was unquestionably not normal, she made him feel like somehow that was fine, too.

he didn't have that anymore, and there wasn't any grudge for it. you can't hold a grudge against someone for being more than an idea, for having their own needs and wants. but it's the reason he understands without stiles having to elaborate, and it's the reason scott offers him a small, sympathetic smile. ]

You will.

[ it's not strictly true. scott doesn't think he'll ever get over allison, but he knows he'll live. maybe that's as good as it gets for the both of them, but at least they'll have company. ]

Maybe this is a good thing. I mean it's not good— it's really, really awful. But sometimes you need a reason to let go.

[ allison had one. it seemed to work out pretty well for her. ]

are you sure because i see your name on the sign-up sheet

[ex_question191]

Yeah.

[ stiles nods as best he can from this angle, lips pressing together for a moment, determined. ]

Yeah, you're totally right. I'm gonna give myself 'til the jump. To just. Mope about it.

[ get really drunk with remus, fight about pack with derek, go on a weird date-thing with cassie, eat a lot of snacks — like, a lot of snacks, thank god for handcuffs. ]

Then it's — brand new Stiles. Moving right on.

[ ha ha ha. ]

i almost tagged you w/josh's account awk

[workout]

[ that sounds like a coming of age comedy film, stiles. scott will be so proud. ]

Stiles 2.0.

[ which is to say: not an entirely brand new stiles. scott's fine with you staying just the way you are, buddy. it's said with a grin, and even if there's a somber note beneath it, it's surprisingly genuine.

but speaking of moving on - that enthusiasm drains slightly, and the hesitation's back. not with stiles, though; he trusts him. it's more the situation as a whole that's got him uncertain. ]

I think I might have messed up.

[ex_question191]

[ stiles' pre-jump september life was a coming of age comedy film tbqh. ]

[ stiles' eyebrows twitch upwards, because he knows scott doesn't mess up as often as he thinks he does, especially not anymore, but he doesn't think praising scott's perfection is the right response here, or an honest one. he needs more details. ]

Messed up how?

[ he tips his head. scott had just listened to his woes, he's willing to be reciprocal. ]

[workout]

[ that reluctance is back, but his guard's not really up. if stiles wants to lay into him for this, it'll be deserved; there's no point in trying to dodge it. ]

I lied.

[ a pause to sort out the words, and when he continues it's in the tone of a completely honest, completely guilty confession. ]

I asked her what was going on two weeks ago and she told me. I thought it would be better if she told everyone the truth herself, but...

[ it's kind of made a mess. with derek, with the rest of the "pack". he hadn't really banked on taking the fall for the lie when he decided to make lydia correct it herself, but he doesn't strictly regret it. ]

[ex_question191]

[ stiles pushes himself onto an elbow suddenly, body tense and intent. for a moment he can't breathe, because — okay, lydia lied to him, and that fucking hurt, and he still doesn't know how to text her back, but he also knows a lot of how he feels for lydia is a one-sided thing. but scott? ]

[ he has to swallow around nothing, swallow back something mean. ]

Wow. Uh.

[ he grimaces. but i lied is wrong, he thinks. it wasn't scott's lie. he'd kept lydia's secret. stiles would have too, stiles keeps secrets — just not from scott. ]

[ still. it's a sick hurt that reminds him of scott chained to the radiator, shouting how lydia had kissed him. a double-whammy of betrayal. he drums his fingers, agitated and not sure what to do or say. ]

Holy god. Two weeks.

[workout]

[ it's a change in the air that scott probably would've noticed even without the werewolf senses. as is, he's acutely aware of it, and it's hard to ignore the sharp wave of regret he gets hit with.

it'd been easy to stay steady and stand by his decision with everyone else. or if not easy, then easier to approach like he approached most things that scared him - put his head down and bear it. but this is stiles, and there's no defense against the fact that he's hurt his best friend. ]

I know.

[ it sounds more like i'm an idiot than an agreement - or maybe that is the agreement. he's got reasons (excuses), not wanting to drag stiles into the lie, hoping that somehow lydia would make it sting less. but they don't make up for the mistake, not really. ]

I didn't think— [ she'd wait so long? of course she would. he might, too. ] I should have told you.

[ex_question191]

Yeah.

[ it's sharp. stiles is already hurt right now, it's not easy for him to just let this go. a moment ago it had been him and scott against lydia, sort of. not really, but enough to be comforting. now it's suddenly not. ]

[ and stiles can hold grudges like nobody's business — this is the kind of thing he needs to get even on or he's going to wind up nursing it into eternity. ]

I'm gonna sleep.

[ because he can't deal with this right now. later, later there'll be other reminders of friendship, remus' steady advice, wichita's sympathetic ear. and then the jump and it won't matter anymore. but right now he's pillow-punchingly mad again, just like when he first read lydia's text, and he hauls the blankets around him and rolls onto his other side. ]

lmao this tag gives me flashbacks to awkard university housing HOSTILE SLEEPING

[workout]

[ scott flinches slightly at the barb in stiles' tone, but he doesn't argue. scott knows exactly how well he can hold a grudge, and drawing this out won't lead to anything other than stiles digging his heels in.

besides, this is fair. stiles deserves the chance to feel (rightly) pissed off, and scott deserves to deal with being shut out until stiles decides it's time to let him back in.

but that's the other difference; with the others, with isaac, that resolution doesn't feel guaranteed. knowing that they'll be okay eventually doesn't make this any less shitty, but it's an anchor that makes it easier to let it play out. he doesn't move for a few seconds after stiles turns his back to him, then there's a slight shifting of blankets as he settles in to sleep. or try to sleep, anyway. ]