last_ofthe_jedi: (anh: best friend)
Luke Skywalker ([personal profile] last_ofthe_jedi) wrote in [community profile] ataraxionlogs2014-09-16 02:22 pm

[closed]

CHARACTERS: Luke Skywalker and Biggs Darklighter
LOCATION: Their room, then one of the holodecks
WARNINGS: Shmoopiness, awkwardness, more cute than you can shake a stick at, dumb boys being dumb, shenanigans; EDIT: Things are becoming a bit intimate, though if it comes to it we'll do a fade-to-black.
SUMMARY: Now that they're mostly recovered from the asshole nanites Luke and Biggs have some things to talk about like how much they want to rip each others' clothes off and decide the holodecks are a good place to talk. Yes, talk.
NOTES: Stalk at will but I release myself of all responsibility for dental bills.


Aside from some residual weakness left over from having lost so much weight Luke's feeling back to his old self, though he's been eating like a bantha since the last jump. Biggs, on the other hand... well, Luke's kept a close watch on him. They said there'd be pain while his body was mending itself. Luke hopes his concern hasn't been annoying but he's found it difficult to keep from checking up on him every five minutes.

On top of that Luke's held a certain shyness around Biggs ever since they confessed their feelings to each other. He's never felt like this around him before. He's afraid to get too close for fear of going about things the wrong way, whatever that might be. Part of him still doubts what Biggs said.

He's been careful to allow Biggs plenty of time to recover but his uncertainty might be starting to show. He's growing restless and anxious and even a bit impatient. He's sitting on his bed across the room from Biggs after another shift in the gunnery. After a minute of mulling over a daring thought or two Luke decides that it's time for initiative.

"We need a break."
hisowndream: (It's my life's dream.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-09-17 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
Healing is a slow process, but it's a significant step up from dying. The mutations Biggs had suffered through were considerable and he hadn't bounced back as quickly as Luke - he finds himself bored, now that he's waiting for days to pass as opposed to clinging to life. The isolation that comes with rest frustrates him. He feels as though he's been in pain for ages, and is ready for it to be over and done with.

He'll take any excuse at all to leave the room. Sore as he is, he perks up almost immediately at Luke's suggestion, on his feet as quickly as he can manage. It was about time Luke had taken some initiative; Biggs was disappointed to find Luke's confidence in himself had died down again after the cure had been found. Why Luke second guessed himself when Biggs repeatedly vouched for him was something his friend could not grasp. When the two of them confessed, Biggs had insisted that he'd told the complete truth. All Luke had left was to convince himself. Biggs thought he'd given him enough time to do it.

They needed to have a talk, indeed, and a change of scenery would do them well. "Yeah, I'm ready for that." It seemed as though Luke had an idea, and Biggs was all ears. "What were you thinking?" Biggs had been aboard for months, but Luke was still more familiar with the ship than he was.
Edited 2014-09-17 03:53 (UTC)
hisowndream: ('Just' me.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-09-18 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
With his chest still aching as he follows, it takes him some time to catch up with Luke, but he already feels more like himself than he has in awhile. They're at the holodecks already by the time Luke's in arms reach, and Biggs reaches a hand out to his shoulder as he slows his pace and realizes where he's been lead. They'd spent years comfortable inside the other's personal space, but now each touch feels like flirtation. Biggs is aware of this when he doesn't move his hand.

He grins in response and nods eagerly. They couldn't leave the ship, but they could still see all kinds of sights with a beauty like this. The look on his face makes it clear he's excited to see how it works. "Perfect! You should have suggested it, sooner!" As if he had been healthy enough to do something like this any earlier. He watches Luke with a smile bordering on a smirk, encouraging him to program something into the console and impress him. It was his idea, after all, and he's looking forward to what he had planned. "Go ahead." This is the opportunity they had both been waiting for.
hisowndream: ('Just' me.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-09-19 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
The thrill of a new experience was something that had always been important to him, and Biggs allows himself to be surprised, not paying attention to what was happening on the monitor and instead watching Luke as he inputs commands. Colour had returned to his face, he looked leaps and bounds better than he had when he'd confessed his feelings. Of course Luke had refused Biggs' concern, but he really had been worried for him, despite being the one in danger. A very long time ago, Biggs had promised himself he'd look out for Luke no matter what the circumstances, and he's never once wavered on that decision.

Biggs meets Luke's grin with his own and assertively tightens his grip on his hand. He was already exactly where he wanted to be and whatever lied behind that door was just a hard-earned bonus.
hisowndream: (It's my life's dream.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-09-22 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
From the moment the doors shut behind them up until they decided to leave, it's the two of them in their own isolated world. When the projection begins, it is like waking up in a dream - Biggs lifts his gaze to the sunlit sky without the need to shield his eyes. Once he concentrates, he can remember the smell of the fresh, loamy soil on Yavin IV, how his boots felt sinking into wet grass. This place does not swelter, but feels crisp; the air is cool against his skin. They are enveloped completely by peace. It strikes a sharp contrast against the adrenaline of Yavin's jungles, against the desolate yet deadly terrain of their own home.

"Luke..." There is wonder in his eyes. He had looked that way many times before, when Luke had done something to exceed his lofty expectations. He nods firmly; yes, this would do, indeed. Biggs is the first to take a step forward, still holding on to Luke, wondering how far the illusion might take him. As it was, it seemed as though they could continue on for miles.

For one long moment, the two of them is all that there is to his universe.
hisowndream: (Like a space hero.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-09-23 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
When Luke is content to break the silence, Biggs shifts the focus from their environment to their relationship. He interrupts him before he has time to form a coherent thought, knowing how shy Luke was when it came to his feelings and the possibility of rejection.

He moves to destroy any suspicions of that at once. Biggs steps in front of Luke and faces him, inviting eye contact, squeezing Luke's hand in his to further attract his attention. He'd better build up the nerve to talk to him, because Biggs wasn't backing down, now. "What's the matter?" He's smiling gently, though his tone is somewhat firm. "Luke. I love you. I want to be with you and I know you want that, too." It's true he hasn't made it easy, himself, for the two of them to adjust to their new relationship - his recovery was slow, and Biggs had found it hard to gather the energy. He still needs to gauge how fast or slow Luke wants to move, something that hadn't found the right time or place to do until now. "If there's something on your mind, tell me. Right now."
hisowndream: (Times are going to be pretty strange...)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-09-26 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
Biggs answers with a gentle laugh. "I have one now," he chuckles, equal parts flattered and amused, before his smile fades into something more sober. He is deep in thought, wondering how to put his feelings to words when he has only recently come to grips with them himself. He finds himself watching Luke's hands in his during the silence. He thinks it's where they belong.

"Luke... Truth is, it took me a lot longer to see it than you." Biggs sighs in frustration; he'd made a reputation of knowing himself, his strengths and his weaknesses, well - it was unusual to be caught so off guard. He'd been with women before, he'd even dated Dantels just before his death. But all of that was just romantic interest, not love: love was something he'd felt for Kandji only to have it ripped from under him. When he'd felt it again, perhaps he'd unwittingly kept it under guard, slow to be stung twice on their fatal planet. For the first time in his life, he hadn't seen something that had been in front of him from the start.

He'll get to that. He's noticed Luke might have some misconceptions about his enrollment in the Academy. Biggs is quick to set that straight: "When we were on Tatooine, we had other things to focus on. I waited for you to come with me, Luke. I did. And I left without you because, more than I wanted you with me, I wanted you to succeed." He makes it sound like they were terribly occupied, the years they'd spent chasing their dreams. As cold as it may sound, it speaks volumes for how important Luke is to him that he would have suppressed something he'd truly wanted if it meant Luke had come to do great things. "Then I joined the Rebellion and there wasn't time for anything else. Here, I could think. When we got lost in the ship, Luke... when I believed Kandji had come back the way I did... I realized that how I'd felt about her and what I felt for you had never been any different." He breaks eye contact a moment to smile grimly, angry with himself. He's always spoken directly, and here is no exception. "Well, it was a bit different - if it came down to it, I would have chosen you. So, there you go." Luke had said that Biggs was the most important person in his life. That feeling was mutual.
hisowndream: (It's my life's dream.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-09-29 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Biggs chuckles to himself, admittedly smug to see Luke's reaction. As far as he was concerned, he had only ever done what was best for him, and if that has earned him frustration, so be it. In the very end, he's made Luke smile, and that brings him a joy that covers him completely. When Luke's eyes reunites with his he watches them closely, admiring every shy movement they made. Biggs thought Luke was at his most beautiful at times like these.

Perhaps Luke hadn't asked for clarification, but he could not stand to have things unclear between them - it would save them a lot of awkward silences and confusion in the last days of his recovery. "Good," he answers softly, bridging the distance between them with a half-step. His grip on Luke's hands tightens for an instant, and his expression turns daring. Once again, he's prepared to go after what they both need right now. "I hope this will make up for it."

Then Biggs is leaning forward, close enough to rest his forehead against Luke's. He pauses, staring into Luke's eyes to ensure he does not catch him by surprise- that Luke is giving him his full attention - and then presses his lips firmly against his. It is a kiss weeks - years- too late, and Biggs slips his hands out from Luke's to pull him closer. He is gentle to start, to make their first kiss soft and meaningful. There would be a time for hungrier kisses soon enough.
hisowndream: ('Just' me.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-10-03 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
When Luke opens his mouth, Biggs makes a low, contented hum, having anticipated Luke's pleasure. Still gentle, he pushes his tongue into Luke's mouth and gives him a kiss one only learned from years of experience: mature and practiced, with all of the love he felt for Luke within it. Of all of the lovers he had had, Luke felt, by far, the most compatible - he already knew the shape of Luke's body, how it felt close to his, familiar and comforting. Just before their kiss could become intense, he breaks away, undoubtedly leaving Luke wanting more - good, he wanted him to crave the next time. Still pressed together, he watches Luke with a grin, finding his own affection reflected back at him. He hugs him close one last time, thankful to be alive, thankful to be here with him. He can smell Luke's scent, taste him on his lips, and he is entirely satisfied.

His hands around Luke's back, Biggs can see the tips of his own fingers, how they still had the faintest hint of black to them as though they had been singed at the ends. Luke had held his mutated hands through his entire illness without disgust. It was a fact that without Luke's contribution, he would never have recovered to begin with, and his gratitude towards his lover has no beginning or end. "I love you," he reminds him, running his hands across Luke's back, speaking softly into his ear.
hisowndream: ('Just' me.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-10-21 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
Biggs lies on his back next to Luke, watching the artificial sky above through eyes half-shut, completely relaxed. He holds Luke close with an arm hooked underneath Luke's side, hand resting against his back. After all of this time, recovering still took the energy out of him, and he was thankful for Luke's discretion. It would have become progressively harder to stop themselves.

He wonders how long this will last, if the hologram would take them through a whole day-night cycle if they stayed here at Luke's suggestion, sometime. A grin spreads on Biggs' face: if they had the authority to stay in the rooms for as long as they wanted, that would make for a wonderful night. He's about to agree they try it sometime before Luke begins to laugh. Biggs turns his neck to catch a glimpse of his love's face and finds himself insatiably curious.

He knows that expression, it's the look he would make when he'd recalled a particularly great memory of theirs (and there were many). "What? What did you remember?" He could already tell Luke was winding up for a story, and he wanted to share in the experience again.
hisowndream: (Default)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-10-26 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Biggs' grin widens to see Luke blushing, laughing until he was red in the face at his own adolescent feelings. This was going to be good. "How could I forget?" He muses. It had been a momentous day for him, as well; not only because he had watched Luke succeed, but because it had been the day he'd discovered he had made himself a true friend for what might have been the second time in his life. "Of course I remember. We spent the night under the bantha pelt.." A moment passes as Biggs reflects on the memory and on what he's said. He arches an eyebrow at Luke, wondering if this is going in the direction he suspects.
hisowndream: ('Just' me.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-10-31 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
Biggs raises both of his eyebrows when the dream is first mentioned - and begins laughing to himself before Luke finishes the story. He has some vivid memories, himself, about the first night he'd spent with Luke: the temperature drop as the suns set, Luke's expression when he gave Biggs his answer, settling in for the night next to his then best friend - and all this time, he'd had no idea what was really going on with the boy laying next to him. He's surprised, but accepts adolescent Luke's desire for him as a compliment. As his laughter dies down, he shakes his head in disbelief. "...And you managed to hold on to that for five years?!" That was some dedication to a secret. They both had their reasons, of course, so Biggs won't tease him any harder - at least, in regards to his silence. His smile never faltering, and Biggs disentangles himself only to lean over Luke, pinning him against the 'grass.' He looks him in the eye, mirroring his mischievous look. He cannot push himself too far, but it feels good just to be like this. "This must be a dream come true for you, then."
hisowndream: ('Just' me.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-11-12 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Biggs can't help but be pleased to have cut off Luke's train of thought (and there was not much left to say on the subject, anyway; they had both had their reasons). Luke's response beneath him is incredibly satisfying - No, he may not have acted with consideration for his health, but it was entirely worth it to feel Luke react from his touch. It would almost be cruel to just leave him like this, even if he would be listening to Luke by backing off now.

And indeed, Biggs rarely ever backs away from something he wants, but he can recognize this isn't the time or place; not yet. He will lean in, pressing them even closer together, and steal a kiss from Luke before sitting back up, a triumphant grin spreading across his face. "...Alright. It will be something to look forward to."
Edited 2014-11-12 17:41 (UTC)
hisowndream: (Not about to pull rank.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-11-14 05:23 am (UTC)(link)
The sudden question takes Biggs by surprise - and in all honesty, it was one he had hoped Luke wouldn't ask. Biggs didn't like others to think, Luke especially, that his self-assured nature and grasp on his identity had lapses like anyone else. But it was a fair question, and Biggs is pensive a moment, wondering how best to answer.

"...Well, I've always been attracted to you. Of course, I didn't realize it until recently..." There was a lot of self-reflection to be had after discovering his appreciation for Luke's eyes and his figure had always been something more than friendly affection. He searches himself for another instance, a time he'd found a man other than Luke attractive, but can't come up with a specific answer. He's certain there was one, for his newfound interests weren't a shock, but the memory eludes him. He was a driven person, and sat comfortably at the very top of his class in the Academy - he did not spend his military career allowing his eyes to wander to the other men. The only time post-Tatooine he'd let another person complicate his thoughts was during the short period he'd spent resenting Hobbie over a misunderstanding, but that was something different. "I guess I didn't 'know'. You were the person I was interested in at home, and when I left, I was so focused on my training that it never crossed my mind. After the mutiny, Dantels showed interest in me, so I pursued her." It's a bit awkward to mention his ill-fated date to Luke, as it's the first time bringing her up since he'd arrived, but exes came and went and he and Luke had a more intimate relationship, now. There was no reason to be jealous.

"...So, that makes you the first," he chuckles, amused at his own answer. It wasn't the confident response Luke may have been looking for, but it is an honest one, and he feels better for sharing it. In spite of their experiences, they were still young men, with room left to make new discoveries about themselves.
Edited 2014-11-14 05:25 (UTC)
hisowndream: (In Memoriam.)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-11-18 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
The meaning behind Luke's admiring gaze is not lost on Biggs. He almost tells him not to get used to it, that it was one time he'd misunderstood himself in a lifetime of confidence, but the truth was that it was sometimes exhausting to make himself seem faultless. His resolute personality might be something Luke loved about him, but he was human, and Luke had surely seen his character tested more times aboard this ship than in most of the years they had spent together at home. The more of his true self Luke saw, the more intimate their relationship became, and that was fine with him.

He seems to light right back up when Luke speaks, pleased to have been his one and only partner. He'd always known, but especially now, Luke's inexperience was somehow endearing. "Jack, right? That wouldn't be a bad idea..." They had come a long way since their awkward meeting in the pool, and Biggs knew that he and his husband were people they could trust.
hisowndream: (Times are going to be pretty strange...)

[personal profile] hisowndream 2014-11-19 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
"Mm, I like the sound of that." Biggs happily follows Luke's lead and lays back down next to him, smiling contentedly. He was growing tired, but this room (and Luke's presence) relaxed him and made it a comfortable drowsiness.

As Biggs rolls over, his eyes turn up towards the sky: his lips part in surprise from what he finds there. He blinks reflexively as the first of the artificial rain is drawn towards the ground, and soon after a light and steady pour follows them. A fine mist has fallen cool on Biggs' skin, and his voice is soft and filled with wonder. "Luke..." This was an impossible sight at home, and in spite of his travels, one that he still has never seen.