Eridan Ampora (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
uncodlyawwesome) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ataraxionlogs2012-08-02 03:14 am
uncodlyawwesome) wrote in ataraxionlogs2012-08-02 03:14 am
Entry tags:
[open] where is my mind?
CHARACTERS: Eridan Ampora & YOU!!
LOCATION: In the library, as well as up and down the halls near said library.
WARNINGS: Mentions of brainwashing, general post-assimilation woes, etc etc.
SUMMARY: Eridan doesn't know what to do with himself now that the assimilation has (somewhat) worn off. So, he wanders.
NOTES: Feel free to assume that by "halls near the library," I mean anywhere you can imagine your character running into Eridan. Seriously, just mention a different location and that's where he's wandered to. :) Dated to the day before jump, just to be safe.
Eridan's major regret in regards to the Strela Outpost Incident is that he allowed himself to be caught. He can't remember exactly what he'd been thinking, cornered in that tinywarm, lovely white room, but he's pretty sure he spent most of the hours in there berating himself for being so fucking obvious. He knows better now, though; he knows firsthand how to keep out of the way, become part of the school and not stand out or be too obvious. It'll be a good defense mechanism, if he remembers to use it.
Leaving the outpost had been the hardest thing to do in what felt like his entire life, though now he can't remember why, exactly. It had been fucking terrible, being a nameless number within some kind of fucked up groupthink type situation. Eridan prides himself in his individuality, after all, and getting stripped of that - of everything that was him - has left him with a sour feeling in his gut, like he swallowed some living, wriggling sea creature. It'll take a long while to digest, but he's got all the time in the world.
He'll get over it.
In the meantime, though, sitting in his room and watching people on the network has become some kind of chore. His room has become his during his stay aboard the Tranquility, and usually that's a good thing. He has a safe spot here, somewhere that's nearly entirely his and no one can take it from him. Lately, though, it feels too much like him - when he'd first gotten back into it after breaking through the haze of assimilation, it'd been kind of heartbreaking. It felt lonely and alone and very different from what he thinks he felt in Strela. That unease had faded over the last few days, but it still felt better to be walking, moving,left-right-left, getting his head to focus on things other than tiny white rooms and a quickly disappating feeling of belonging. So that's what he does - he wanders, pacing through halls and spending time in the library, downloading things about astrology and odysseys onto his communicator to read while he walks. A few articles on military history, shit like that. Things he likes, as an individual with good taste and a mind perfectly healthy and ready to learn. Things to get his mind off of everything.
He's going to get over it and move on and stop thinking about it. Really. The sooner, the better.
LOCATION: In the library, as well as up and down the halls near said library.
WARNINGS: Mentions of brainwashing, general post-assimilation woes, etc etc.
SUMMARY: Eridan doesn't know what to do with himself now that the assimilation has (somewhat) worn off. So, he wanders.
NOTES: Feel free to assume that by "halls near the library," I mean anywhere you can imagine your character running into Eridan. Seriously, just mention a different location and that's where he's wandered to. :) Dated to the day before jump, just to be safe.
Eridan's major regret in regards to the Strela Outpost Incident is that he allowed himself to be caught. He can't remember exactly what he'd been thinking, cornered in that tiny
Leaving the outpost had been the hardest thing to do in what felt like his entire life, though now he can't remember why, exactly. It had been fucking terrible, being a nameless number within some kind of fucked up groupthink type situation. Eridan prides himself in his individuality, after all, and getting stripped of that - of everything that was him - has left him with a sour feeling in his gut, like he swallowed some living, wriggling sea creature. It'll take a long while to digest, but he's got all the time in the world.
He'll get over it.
In the meantime, though, sitting in his room and watching people on the network has become some kind of chore. His room has become his during his stay aboard the Tranquility, and usually that's a good thing. He has a safe spot here, somewhere that's nearly entirely his and no one can take it from him. Lately, though, it feels too much like him - when he'd first gotten back into it after breaking through the haze of assimilation, it'd been kind of heartbreaking. It felt lonely and alone and very different from what he thinks he felt in Strela. That unease had faded over the last few days, but it still felt better to be walking, moving,
He's going to get over it and move on and stop thinking about it. Really. The sooner, the better.
no subject
Some part of him thinks, never know when you'll need them to guide you, but he's not really sure why he'd ever think he'd need to sail some foreign planet's seas. Or skies. He's not really feeling a mutiny.
He happens to glance up after a few minutes of being shallowly interested in his reading - it's already failing to keep in his head - and he notices Nepeta watching him. He never felt another troll during that assimilation, he thinks, so he doubts she's here to hunt him down after getting tangled up in his head along with all the others, but there's still a kind of anxiousness there.
They didn't get Feferi and they didn't get Nepeta, but he remembers distinctly hating the hivemind for even thinking about it. He can even sort of recall why.
"Oh, hey," he says, trying for casual but ending with something more subdued.
no subject
"Hey Eridan. Um..."
How are you feeling? is a silly question at this point. Bad, obviously, his tone says that much, and she doesn't expect Eridan to pour his heart out to her like Equius would. Saying sorry would be even worse; sorry for what? she can picture him saying, and should she respond with I'm sorry I couldn't purrtect you or I'm sorry you got caught and had your thinkpan assaulted would probably wound his pride, leading to an ugly discussion and making them both feel worse. Can't start the road to healing with that, now can she?
Peeking over his shoulder, Nepeta settles for asking, "What're you reading? Anything epic?"
no subject
He looks back at his communicator, almost as if he's completely dismissed her. Then, when she asks, he glances back up and says, "Somethin' about astronomy an' shit. Not really sure, I havven't been payin' it much attention to be honest. Doubtful it'll be useful, since wwe can't evven see the constellations around us." There's a pause. "Wwhat are you doin' here?"
no subject
"I wonder... I haven't found any windows on the ship, but maybe there's some monitors so we can see the stars! How else would the captain steer this thing? In that case it'd be plenty useful!"
Her enthusiasm falters when he asks her why she's suddenly here, but not for more than a second. "Me? Er. I couldn't sleep."
It's not a lie, and it certainly sounds better than I've been following you around all day.
"Decided to walk around fur a little while and wound up here. What about you? I mean you're obviously here to read, but..."
no subject
"Probably," he says in response to her theory, "Or they're all automated systems or somethin'. Wwho knowws if they evven use stars as guides in this day an' age. I'll leavve that shit to the engineers or wwhatevver."
He doesn't look like he really believes her excuse as to why she's here at all, but he doesn't call her out on it. Which should be noted as a big fucking deal, because Eridan usually calls people out on lying to him. He guesses it sounds plausible enough.
He shrugs his shoulders. "I dunno. Guess sleepin' isn't a thing I wwanna do right noww either. Besides, my room is..." Too familiar. "Kinda feelin' too small for me right noww."