Security Department [open log]

[jurisimpudent]

CHARACTERS: Any and all
LOCATION: Security offices
WARNINGS: None at the moment, but if Tyke posts, then profanity, and if Soysauce posts, then goopiness
SUMMARY: Open log for SEC for the month of December.
NOTES: This is open to members of SEC and also members of the public who want a bit of SEC-siness in their lives. So you can post in here if you're a SEC member who wants an open thread for his/her patrol route, or a SEC member who wants to thread out patrolling with their partner (bonus points for buddy-cop banter); you can also use this for interactions in the main SEC offices, or you can post in here if you're working out in the gym and need a spotter, or you can post in here if you're lost in the halls and want someone official to help you back to your halls, or you can post in here if you're breaking into the SEC offices to have SEC-s on the desks - the possibilities are endless! (But don't feel limited to this log, either.)

Comments

[jurisimpudent]

Fine.

If you think she has nothing to do aside from listen to you chat at her then you have a very inflated sense of self-importance.

[chromosomes]

Reports. Not chatting.

[jurisimpudent]

Reports which can be submitted on paper for her to peruse at her leisure if and only if something important occurs. It's charming that you're able to indulge your more social side with her - [That's said with an acrid sort of sarcasm - ] but I think we're all a little bit too busy for that sort of charm.

[chromosomes]

Via text, actually. Paper's harder to keep track of, especially considering there isn't much of it on the damn ship.

[ Eyerolling. ]

Busy. With what, exactly? We can't do a damn thing other than patrol right now.

[jurisimpudent]

[Edgeworth shoots him an acid look.]

Thank you for that correction, sir; obviously I don't know what I'm actually writing with. Tell me, is pedantry something that they teach you in basic training, or is that an advanced skill?

[And he shakes his head - ]

And the same question goes for stupidity, I suppose. Have you actually been in security this long thinking that she does nothing but listen to your reports?

[chromosomes]

Considering you're apparently the only one on the damn ship who can find paper that isn't used to wipe your ass -- or maybe it is -- my point stands.

[ There's a low, half-growl from his throat, but Reaper doesn't move. ]

I know she does more than that. But I don't know what it is that's apparently made her so busy that she'd tell you to tell me to give my reports to you instead of telling me directly. Unless there isn't anything, in which case you should either say what the fuck you mean or stop wasting my time.

[jurisimpudent]

[Edgeworth, in return, rolls his eyes towards the ceiling. His voice is flatly condescending.]

What paper I have was brought with me; I use it for personal purposes. When I said "on paper" I was using metonymy; I meant a written report. Your point was nonexistent.

Tyke's duties include, to begin with, planning patrols, assigning patrol partners, reviewing data I've compiled regarding the state of things on the whole ship, running patrols herself, training new recruits, reviewing applications to the force, exercising, reviewing the state of the equipment, taking care of discipline issues, overseeing the brig, communicating with other departments, and communicating with the captain when he chooses to speak. Shall I add to the official job description "comforting lonely, sad soldiers who just want someone to talk to"? Is that an official request, Mr. Grimm?

[chromosomes]

Yeah? Tell that to a new recruit scrambling around trying to find paper because you can't say what you mean.

[ There's a deep breath, Reaper trying to keep himself from snapping completely. It may not work. Either way, his voice is low now. ]

All of those are duties she's had since I've been here. None of those have contributed to her telling me to fuck off and give my reports to you -- and she still hasn't. Until there's an official order, she'll continue getting my reports as usual. Whether she decides to talk to me past that is her own business, and I'll remind you that you don't know a damn thing about me and to keep your assumptions out of this.

I'll also remind you once again that it's Staff Sergeant.

[jurisimpudent]

[Curtly:]

You can be Staff Sergeant when you start acting like a soldier again.

Tyke likes you. She's not going to tell you to go away because she likes you, and she's a decently kind person. Which is why it's comparatively fortunate that she has me, because I'm not remotely kind, so I've no compunctions about telling you that you're wasting your superior officer's time and reducing her efficiency.

[chromosomes]

Wasting her time. With reports that she has to go over anyway. Do you actually listen to anything that comes out of your mouth?

[ He leans in, voice quiet. ]

The last time someone told me to act like a soldier when they thought I wasn't, they were ordering us to kill a group of civilians and their children. You're damn lucky I'm not a model soldier or else I would have, and I wouldn't have cared, and I'd do it again.

[ Reaper straightens back up then and turns to leave. ]

[jurisimpudent]

[There's just a momentary thinning of Edgeworth's lips, a narrowing of his eyes; then his mask of indolence is back, and he shakes his head.]

Again, kindly cease being stupid; the time spent glancing over a report that just says "There was no trouble" is far less than listening to your idiotic blathering. As for your melodrama with that second comment - I'm not even going to respond to such caterwauling.

[chromosomes]

Only works when there's no trouble.

[ He's broken up fights on the ship before, after all, and his senses are better than just about everyone else on the team. He pauses at the door, though, looking back. ]

Melodrama. You can say that if it ever happens to you. Until then, don't talk about what you don't understand.

[ And then he leaves. ]

[jurisimpudent]

[And Edgeworth shakes his head. Well; it turns out that he'd been completely wrong when he'd taken Grimm as sensible. And reasonable. And not yet another irritatingly dramatic, self-indulgent imbecile.]