mathematically: (pic#5013875)
lчdíα ( вєttєr thαn αnч σthєr αlphα ) mαrtín ([personal profile] mathematically) wrote in [community profile] ataraxionlogs2013-04-07 10:58 pm

seventeenth jump;

CHARACTERS: any and all
LOCATION: Gravity Couches and beyond
WARNINGS: maybe some swearing, or even some violence, and more than likely some implied (and possibly explicit) nakedness.
SUMMARY: Another month, another jump, another round of new faces.
NOTES: Keeping up with the tradition and copy pasted like always from the last one 



You wake up in darkness.


There's a breathing tube jammed down your trachea, and you're suspended in a tube of clear blue fluid. Upon registering your level of consciousness, the gravity couch drains the fluid surrounding you and retracts the breathing apparatus; the doors in front of you open, and you're deposited on the floor of a stark, sterile medical bay.

You are not alone.

There are others who have come before you, others who are awakening beside you. Some may be familiar to you, perhaps even friends. Others have much less amiable plans. Some are merely alien and inexplicable, but there are always those who might mean you harm.

After you catch your breath and your vision returns, you notice a number on the inside of your forearm. Maybe it's a familiar number. Maybe it means something. Maybe it's just a number. But the number—completely unique to you—is a tattoo, and it does not come off.

If you enter the room adjacent to the medbay, you will find a small locker with your number on it, surrounded by rows upon rows of identical lockers. Inside, you will find a few of your personal items, a communications device, and a ship's uniform in your exact size. The comms device is fully powered and connects directly to the ship's network; it's your only means of communication beyond physical conversation. Upon turning the device on, a neutral, automated voice will say, "Please take the blue lift to the passenger quarters." Any other attempts at communicating with the rest of the network are met only with static.

This is your welcome party.
lacksgrace: (pic#5794007)

[personal profile] lacksgrace 2013-04-09 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
Shouldn't that tell you something? [ All they have isn't enough, hardly that when people just keep leaving. He presses in close, forcing him back against the counter so they're standing intimately. But Bells' expression is a mix of anger and agony, eyes hinted red from crying before. ] How good is it if all we've got is stuff we don't even have any control over? You're gonna leave me too.

No one ever stays. [ Bells squeezes hard at his wrists then. ] No one.
showbizpanache: (pic#5003154)

[personal profile] showbizpanache 2013-04-09 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not. I'm not.

[He's crying openly now. It hurts to see Bells in so much pain. The hands on his wrists hurt too, though, and he starts to struggle a bit.]

Please, just tell me what happened. Who left?
lacksgrace: (pic#5796721)

[personal profile] lacksgrace 2013-04-09 06:07 am (UTC)(link)
[ Usually, when Kurt cries, Bells tries to make it better. He doesn't like seeing him cry, hates being the one to cause it, but this time, he's just looking at him a little blankly, as if he doesn't understand quite what's going on now. He feels him struggle and does nothing about it--only grips him tighter, drags him forward so they're almost nose to nose. ]

Doesn't matter now. [ He breathes it quietly against his mouth, staring at him. ] He always said I was selfish, but he just left without me. Not a damn word about it. Maybe he didn't--

How can you love something like me, Kurt? I'm not very good for you, you know.
showbizpanache: (distressed)

[personal profile] showbizpanache 2013-04-09 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
[He starts to struggle harder. He's really scared right now.]

I-- I don't know. I just do. But I d-don't understand what's going on right now. Please help me understand. Please? [His fingers are starting to go numb, which is unreal. Why is Bells hurting him like this?]
Edited 2013-04-09 06:11 (UTC)
lacksgrace: (pic#5796733)

[personal profile] lacksgrace 2013-04-09 06:22 am (UTC)(link)
[ He rests their foreheads together, oddly gentle given how tight he's holding him and how he's beginning to shake. His legs aren't going to keep him up if he continues to do this, but he refuses to let him go. ]

I've been around so long, and I thought, I dunno. I figured it'd get easier. Humans are fragile. They live seconds, and I'm still there. Alone. [ He bites out the word, breathes hard. ] I don't wanna feel like this anymore. You're gonna end up doing things to me no one else ever has, and-and—

Don't you get it, yet? I'm not made for this. I wasn't made to love you and lose you too.
showbizpanache: (Default)

[personal profile] showbizpanache 2013-04-10 05:02 am (UTC)(link)
[He can't believe what he's hearing. The tears tumble out, sloppy and sticky and everywhere, and he begins to realize--]

It w-was Lor.

He left. Am I r-right?
lacksgrace: (pic#5624306)

[personal profile] lacksgrace 2013-04-10 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ A jerk of his head is the only answer he gives, hating that Kurt is mentioning it, and he feels like he's being stabbed in the chest over and over again. ]

Don't say that name. [ It's a hiss, and god, he's so stupid for doing this. ] Don't-- Just stop. [ And then, he's dropping Kurt's wrists and pressing his face into his shoulder, unsteady and all over the place. ]

What am I gonna do now?
showbizpanache: (crying; grief)

[personal profile] showbizpanache 2013-04-10 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
[Kurt's arms explode with pain but he ignores it. He forces them up so he can wrap them around Bells, cradling his head close. He's still crying, startled and worried and heartbroken, but still he tries. He can only try.]

Just stay with me. I've got you...
lacksgrace: (pic#5519850)

[personal profile] lacksgrace 2013-04-10 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
[ He owes him an explanation. Eventually, some time soon. But now he's sliding his arms around him and clutching at his back, trying to take that reassurance so he feels better. It's not working. It's not working at all, and Bells doesn't know how many more are going to end up hurting before it does. ]

I told you to go away. [ His breath is ragged, close to tears. ]
showbizpanache: (tearful)

[personal profile] showbizpanache 2013-04-10 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
I can't.

[He sobs.]

I can't go away.
lacksgrace: (pic#5795180)

[personal profile] lacksgrace 2013-04-10 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
I'm just gonna hurt you if you don't. [ But his hands are pulling at his shirt, telling him to stay. Don't go, please. ] And I won't even mean it. I didn't mean it. Look— [ Bells fumbles, not making much sense as he puts enough space between them to take hold of Kurt's elbow and draw his arm where he can see what he's done. ]

I already... You think I wanna do something like this to you? This is not okay.
showbizpanache: (pic#5926028)

[personal profile] showbizpanache 2013-04-10 06:25 am (UTC)(link)
[Kurt looks reluctantly down at his own wrist. It just looks red and purple now, but he knows there will be bruising later. His stomach flops.]

I didn't realize...
lacksgrace: (pic#5693411)

[personal profile] lacksgrace 2013-04-10 06:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ He sighs and feels sick, resting his thumb over the finger-shaped marks. Bells doesn't want to think about Lor because thinking about Lor is going to make him crazy, make him lose it, make him angry. He needs Kurt. He needs Kurt like he needs air. ]

I didn't mean it. [ He says it again - I swear I didn't mean it - and uses his free hand to wipe at the tears on Kurt's cheeks. ] I'm sorry.
showbizpanache: (uncomfortable; please go away)

[personal profile] showbizpanache 2013-04-11 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
[Something changes. The hand on Kurt's cheek is so gentle compared to the ones that had been gripping his wrists, and now he's desperately confused. Why did Bells hurt him, and then now why is he being so gentle?

What's going on?
]

Maybe I'll sleep in Rachel's room tonight.
lacksgrace: (pic#5790434)

[personal profile] lacksgrace 2013-04-11 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
[ Usually, Bells would have said okay. Or something along those lines because he feels like he should put space between them; he had told him to go away at the start of this. But he's selfish. So, so selfish, and he isn't about to let that happen. ]

No. [ And the words leave his mouth in a rush, voice tight. ] I need you.
showbizpanache: (Not sure what to believe.)

[personal profile] showbizpanache 2013-04-11 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
--Okay. Okay.

[He's so confused.]

Let's just-- Go lie down, then, okay? Let's just rest.
lacksgrace: (pic#5624306)

[personal profile] lacksgrace 2013-04-11 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
[ He doesn't trust himself to say anything else, not entirely sure he actually could say something that makes sense. So, he nods instead. Numb, hurt, disgusted that he's done this because he can't cope. Can't handle it.

Bells doesn't move though. Just stands there and stares down between them, like he's ready to wake up from this very bad dream. ]
showbizpanache: (you really think so?)

[personal profile] showbizpanache 2013-04-11 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
It's gonna be okay.

[It's not. He knew this was going to be dangerous, they are dangerous, bringing together two worlds that aren't supposed to touch. But he wanted to try so badly--and despite everything, he doesn't regret it.

Bells saved his life, after all. He can't forget something like that. But they're both in too much pain to sort anything out right now.
]

Come on. [Lying down is a very good idea. At least it'll get them out of the kitchen area, which is starting to seem unfriendly.]
lacksgrace: (pic#5795180)

[personal profile] lacksgrace 2013-04-11 06:52 am (UTC)(link)
[ Bells knows that, once he lies down, he isn't going to want to get back up again, but he's come to a point now where it doesn't even matter. He'll listen to Kurt because it's Kurt. Because he loves him and he hurt him and that's just not something that's supposed to happen.

He feels empty, running on automatic even as he grips at the hem of his shirt like he's ready to go wherever he leads without protest. ]


Yeah, sure. Let's go. [ It doesn't even sound like him talking. He hates this. ]