prefectly: (happy ✧ optimistic)
lιly evanѕ ([personal profile] prefectly) wrote in [community profile] ataraxionlogs2013-04-19 04:06 am
Entry tags:

/enter meaningful lyrics here ( closed )

CHARACTERS: James Potter & Lily Evans
LOCATION: the Gardens
WARNINGS: n/a
SUMMARY: James found out about ~*~their future~*~ and now they're going to talk in person. surely this won't be awkward at all.
NOTES: a continuation of this.


[ it actually takes her about twenty-five minutes to get from her room to the O2 Gardens, and alright, she feels a little bad about it. making him wait. but only because she's sure he'll think she's doing it on purpose! intentionally stalling. or maybe not even showing up at all. which, honestly, isn't like her. but does he know that? ... since when does she care if he knows that? that's the real question here. oh, Godric.

she finds herself sort of jogging down the hallway to the entrance, notices because she's stopping before she gets there, twirling her wand between her fingers just for the distraction of it. she probably won't even need her wand. but then, who knows? she can't know for sure. it could be dangerous. there could be dangers in the Gardens! right. that's why she's stalling now. that's definitely it. nevermind that she was just worried about doing just that a second ago. she's actually kind of rocking back on her heels now, like maybe this wasn't such a good idea. what is she even going to say to him? she doesn't know. she has no idea. and she can only imagine what he'll end up saying to her.

but.
]

Pull it together, Evans.

[ she's been reduced to talking to herself now, good. that's healthy. yes, world class sanity right there. brilliant. eventually she finds herself walking through the wide door of the room, chin up, all very confident here, yes, no worrying from her. but then, she's not expecting him to be right there waiting for her. ]

Oh. Hullo.

[ like she's shocked that he's here even though he was the one that sort of suggested it first??? ]

I mean. Hullo, Potter. ..James.

[ WHY THE CORRECTION? why is she so overwhelmed? oh. right. the future. and the fact that she knows that he now knows. she sighs, like that might excuse her ridiculousness. maybe she can save the moment, erase the awkward intro with something clever, a brilliant deduction about the situation, perhaps- ]

This is all a bit mad, isn't it?

[ she's doomed. ]
heorot: (64)

random other headcanon whooooo

[personal profile] heorot 2013-04-22 08:32 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe.

[ He repeats her just because he can, because if she's talking about what he thinks she's talking about then they are seriously going to end up spending the entire day in his garden making sure they remember all the same things. which honestly, he's quite okay with. it's just too bad there isn't a pub to go to afterwards. he could talk her into another second date, her first second date, if this doesn't already count.

because yes, as always, his priorities are in he right place.

James follows after her easily enough into the jungle, not really thinking about how he's never been this far into it and wondering if it'll be a problem. actually no, that's a lie. James doesn't even wonder if it'll be a problem, just walks head-first into it with Lily leaving because he is old enough to apparate. which means he can always get him and Lily out of necessary. ]


False. [ he answers quickly, hesitating for only a moment before he breaks out into a grin. ] It was actually Remus' handiwork, so he should get credit, and you forgot the sock. Those were there for weeks. [ and he laughs a little, thinking back on the memory, how they'd almost run into Dumbledore while under the cloak, but how the man had just stared at them with that little twinkle in his eyes before moving on again. he's lost in thought for a moment before he looks back up at her, his grin a little devious. ] True or false - you actually did attend the Quidditch Cup game our fourth year when the bludger caught my broom and I was in the infirmary for the weekend. [ he doesn't mention they lost that year, only the game itself. ] Despite vehemently refusing to show your face on the pitch when I asked you earlier that day.
heorot: (question ж you really think so?)

[personal profile] heorot 2013-04-22 09:40 am (UTC)(link)
[ so first there's the grin, because he knew he saw her in the stands. he knew it, which might have been why he'd been distracted in the first place, but no one but Sirius knew that. or he guesses he should say Sirius and Remus and Peter, because information flies between the four of them faster than any broom on the market.

and it doesn't matter what her explanation is, because the smug grin doesn't fade until she's onto her next memory, which was much closer. just a few months before christmas break, actually, and James pauses for a moment just to think back on it. and maybe he feels a little guilty about that one, but she'd gotten her new cauldron (that he found a way to pay for completely, mind you) and they'd had a decent conversation and James considers that a very positive memory in his books. ]


True. [ ah, feel smug all you want, Lily. James detected no hint of bittnerness or malice or anything of the sort when she recounted the memory. he shrugs a little, before he's grinning again, turning it back on her. ] That's only because you've been so successful in adamantly refusing any of my advances for that whole semester. [ granted, his advances had been a little crude, and possibly consisted of a lot of on-the-spot moments and calls across the green, but none the less she wouldn't have gone with him if she didn't have to. so he made her have to. ]

But- [ because the story doesn't end there, not when Lily's apparently from that Christmas Break so he's perfectly allowed to bring this up- ] true or false. You wouldn't have agreed to go on our first date if it wasn't for that Hogsmeade trip. And you have to admit, you had fun on our first date.

[ meaning: it had been worth it. ]
heorot: (snark ж indeedy)

[personal profile] heorot 2013-04-22 10:24 am (UTC)(link)
[ ah yes, there it is. her laugh. ] That's what it felt like, honest! Judging my performance for a grade, perhaps.

[ her very pointed false is actually a little surprising, and he raises his eyebrows at her in response. no? you sure about that, Evans? ]

What was it then?
heorot: (37)

[personal profile] heorot 2013-04-22 10:43 am (UTC)(link)
[ he matches her steps, interested in whatever detail she's about to give him into her psyche and thought process, so it can be one more thing he remembers. keeps in mind for the next date or time where a date could possibly arise.

but then he stops and stares at her because he needs a moment to let that sink in. ]


Remus Lupin. Our [ because the marauders always speak in the royal 'we' ] Remus Lupin. [ a pause, for effect, before: ] You're going to have to explain this one to me, Evans, because I'm not following.
heorot: (question ж come hither)

[personal profile] heorot 2013-04-22 11:14 am (UTC)(link)
[ it's partially the fact that Lily is so calm and collected about all this that makes James even more confused. Remus - bloody brilliant Remus - somehow convinced Lily Evans to go on a date with him. somehow. and sure he knew the two were friends, it was kind of hard to ignore with that kind of connection, but he hadn't known that his friend was playing such an active role in his love life. because while, yes, Remus might have gotten Evans to agree to the first date, James could take pride in the second. and third. and...well.

he scoffs, though, for good measure. ]


That's a ruddy lie and we both know it. If you thought I was just a bully you wouldn't have agreed to go with me, Remus' persuasive skills or no. [ but he laughs, anyway, shaking his head and continuing on to catch up with Lily in their walk. ] But it does seem I owe him a great thanks. If I hadn't got you on that first date, I wouldn't- well. [ and then he just keeps on walking. care to catch up? ]
heorot: (neutral ж first love)

[personal profile] heorot 2013-04-23 11:24 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's a good thing James has grown up to realize that arguing about the semantics of bullying and how he hasn't actually bullied anyone in years (okay, maybe since last year, but everything this past year has been purely for humor) would not help his case, or else this conversation might have taken a turn for the worse.

Instead, he just rolls his eyes. And makes a mental not to dangle this piece of information over Remus' head. ]


Ridiculous or no, you agreed. And you had a wonderful time.

[ and then James just grins, and shrugs a little. ]

Dunno if I have the right to say, future shenanigans and all.
heorot: (question ж yeah?)

[personal profile] heorot 2013-04-24 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
Fantastic, marvelous, brilliant, phenomenal. I could go on, if you'd like.

[ When she finally catches up, James looks at her with the most nonchalant expression he can muster. With just the right amount of smuggness, as if what he's talking about isn't all that important. ]

I don't know, Evans, you could go and try to change it.
heorot: (snark ж say it again)

[personal profile] heorot 2013-04-24 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
[ He shrugs a little, letting that sit in the air for a moment before he sighs and gives it. Since he was fighting it so much and all. ]

You didn't think that'd be our last date, did you?
heorot: (neutral ж first love)

[personal profile] heorot 2013-04-25 08:23 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, well, where I'm from you have agreed to a second. And third. And fourth, and depending on if you want to count that one time...

[ Just grinning. All the grins. Mostly because this conversation with Lily is going much better than planned. She hasn't slapped him and walked away, yet, which is always a plus. ]

However complicated you want to make it out, my unwavering attempts to gain your favor must have worked. To a degree.
heorot: (51)

[personal profile] heorot 2013-04-27 10:32 am (UTC)(link)
We have. And then some.

[ and maybe his grin drops a little - not completely, because he's still reveling in the whole fact he knows and she seems so surprised by it (james loves throwing lily off, if he can), but enough. it's just a smidge disheartening to thinking that they're back to before term. that she doesn't remember their whole last semester. some of his favorite memories with her were from there, and if she hasn't lived through them yet, it's literally as if it's just all in his head.

he shrugs, though, at her comments. ]


Doesn't really matter much, does it? [ and no, he's not talking about her inability to see him like that, and before she can chime in, he continues. ] I mean the dates. You might've agreed to them and as far as I could tell, enjoyed them, when I'm from; but if you haven't had them yet... they might as well have never happened.

[ now it's james' turn to turn away, suddenly very very interested in the trees around them. and yeah, okay. james isn't so self-centered and horrible that he doesn't recognize a lot of how he treated (sometimes still wishes he did treat) snape was a little horrid, but it gets downplayed by how horrid he is as a person, in his mind. but he knows, and he knows it bothers lily more than anything, and then it turns around and bothers him that she's still seeing him like that. he might not have changed drastically, but the fact she'd given him a chance made him think he'd changed enough. and now they're basically back to square one - or one and a half, at least. ]

Guess I just have to start over again.
heorot: (question ж did you...)

[personal profile] heorot 2013-04-27 11:43 am (UTC)(link)
You sure about that? Because you've definitely spent a majority of our school years trying to convince me of the opposite.

[ that's a tease, which Lily should be able to tell by the fact she can almost hear a slight smirk on the edge of that. even if neither of them are looking at each other. yet. we say yet because James does eventually turn to her when she starts on about hypothetical situation of their, well, situation. there's too much he can pick out of there, things to repeat to make her realize what she's saying when it comes to describing him, but he doesn't. mostly because he realizes she's being a little more serious about it, and mostly because he wants her to realize he's taking it just as seriously. ]

Is that how you see it? Really? [ it's an honest question on his part, because it's a little hard for him to be able to see Severus in that same light. even trying to imagine Remus being like him, in position alone... but he takes a breath, slides his hand through his hair, and makes an effort. ] Well, from your story alone - hypothetically speaking - I wouldn't give the girl the time of day.

[ and maybe it's said a little bluntly, but this is Remus they're hypothetically speaking about, and James has always been a little overly loyal to his friends. and protective, even, of Remus. ]

But then again, I'd have to take Remus' reaction into account. [ suddenly James realizes how difficult it is to speak in hypotheticals like this, because it's Remus and just the idea is difficult, but he tries. ] Because there's only so much I could do to stand up for him, if he went out of his way to...well. Instigate things with this girl. Called her daft, idiotic, followed her around with the intention of getting her in trouble - so this girl's response might be a little extreme, if I don't know about how Remus responds when I'm not around, but it's not unprovoked. Not entirely.

[ he opens his mouth to go on, to mention and then, of course, I might take into account just how close I am to Remus, how this girl would see it but he doesn't. doesn't want to get into his own jealousy over that, not in front of Lily. ]

So could I say yes? Yeah. Especially if it was just for a first date, because I like giving people a chance to prove themselves outside of what might be more complicated than I think it is. Beyond that it'd depend on the girl, and on Remus.

[ and maybe James doesn't know the full story behind Lily and Snape. maybe he's only heard rumors and made assumptions over the way they'd seemed to look at each other in the halls, during that second term. how Lily hadn't seemed to care at the fact Snape would glare at them, constantly, no matter where they were. something had happened, there, sure. but he hadn't asked Lily, no matter how curious he might have been. ]
heorot: (anger ж you don't know)

[personal profile] heorot 2013-05-03 12:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[ James watches Lily shift, in their conversation. watches her drop the hypotheticals, instantly, and he almost wishes he could take it back. maybe, in another place, he would have reared back up at her. his voice might have gone up and he might have yelled back, because she's attacking him and how he dealt with this. it bothers him that she's still so attached to someone like severus snape, bothers him deep down in his core, but he can't really blame her for reacting like this.

if he wasn't so emotionally drained, already, he might have responded a little more extreme. but after a day of dealing with his death, his marriage to lily and then her death, the war and their future and everything that comes with it, he doesn't have it in him to be angry at anyone else. and Lily's just upset, because yeah maybe Snape was her friend at one point and yeah, okay. maybe James could have been a little more mature about it, but he was just a kid (still just a kid) and Snape was just as bad. and she's sitting there, expecting him to be the better man here? or expected him to be the better man? it makes him angry because it's not his fault Snape was a prick to everyone, professors included. it's not his fault. and it bothers him more so that she's still sticking up for that prat when he knows they're not friends anymore. he knows it. ]


How are you mad at me? And standing up for him? I'm not the one that called you- [ he can't even say it, not when she's standing right in front of him. when she's obviously torn up about all this. but Snape had called her that, he had, and James had seen it and it still infuriates him. how Lily could even stand to have been friends with someone like that, he doesn't know. doesn't understand.

James just stares at her while she finishes, because he'd tried to interject but couldn't even finish his comment, and then she's all but screaming at him. yelling, shouting, like it's still his fault, everything is his fault, and he wants to match her. he does. but he can't bring himself to react beyond setting his jaw, standing his ground and weathering through her outburst, staring at her. and when she finishes, gets embarrassed and tries to apologize, he has a hard time shifting back out of it again. ]


No, don't-- don't apologize if that's how you really feel. [ even when he doesn't know how to react to it, because there's not enough in him at this point to get angry. not over something that, in retrospect, seems so idiotic and insignificant as severus snape. but he figures Lil deserves something more than just his empty stare, so he shrugs, looks away from her. waits to she'll kill him if he tries to approach her. and maybe it's his pride - one of the few negative aspects of being a gryffindor - or maybe it's something else, that spurs him on to speak. but he does, keeping his eyes away from her. ] I didn't apologize, and won't apologize, to him because he doesn't deserve it. Doesn't deserve anything. Didn't deserve you.

[ that last part slips out, too fast for him to even think about holding it back, and he just closes his eyes and hopes that maybe - by some twist of fate - she might not comment on it. ]