out flew the web and floated wide

[fallasleep]

CHARACTERS: Roy Walker [fallasleep] and anyone who wants to visit him
LOCATION: Medbay
WARNINGS: Suicidal thoughts, depression. The usual with Roy.
SUMMARY: Roy wakes up when he doesn't want to wake up. People visit him.
NOTES: Takes place from 14 Aug to the end of the month. Please put the date down when tagging in, thanks!

[ His eyes are open and he feels cold and he doesn't want either. His throat and chest and stomach ache. Some might think that is a good thing. But pain means he's alive, and that's what Roy doesn't want. He sees the medbay again. He sees his own fingers, curling by his side, and both seem the deepest cruelty anyone can inflict on him.

Roy understands why he lives, though. He hasn't hidden himself well enough. He was too eager. He didn't try his very best to find what he needed. The painkillers should have been stronger. Maybe he should have taken the acid instead of the iodine. Maybe he should have asked for stronger alcohol. Maybe he should have just taken a scalpel instead of... Maybe, maybe, maybe. A thousand of them and no way that he can fix it.

(But he was so desperate. He is still desperate. He will have to try again, as soon as possible. He knows that.)

He stares in front of him. Straight ahead. No matter the sounds, no matter who looks. He simply stares emptily.

His throat hurts. (There's a part of himself that's happy about that.) He can't speak, though he still has his tablet by his side. ]

Comments

[redhotsummers]

Or you know, you could throw yourself out one of the air locks. That would be a sure fire way to ensure you're dead.

[Alex quirks an eyebrow.]

I'm not going to help you to kill yourself. That's on you.

[fallasleep]

[ He cocks his head to the side, his smile widening. ]

You're a coward. [ Softly, gently. ] You like talking big. Pretending that you're tough, telling the man who wants to kill himself to do so. [ He chuckles. ] Your suggestions are stupid, and you refuse to dirty your hands.

[ He clucks his tongue. ]

What are you really here for?

[ It's funny. Saying all that does make him feel better. ]

[redhotsummers]

[Alex snorts.]

I'm the coward? I'm not the one who's decided that he can't cut it in the real world, so he's taking the easy way out.

Suicide is about you. The minute someone helps you, it ain't much of a suicide, is it?

[He shrugs.]

Checking on a hurt friend.

[fallasleep]

[ The easy way out. Roy has heard that before plenty of times; mostly from his head head. So he only laughs quietly, more amused than anything else. ]

You're so stupid that I'm surprised you have friends. [ A little dryly. He drops his head back to the pillows, half-raising his hand and wiggling his fingers. ]

Go on; leave. Go check up on your friend.

{ To make sure Alex takes the message, he turns away from him and stares at the wall. ]

:C I WANT THEM TO BE FRIENDS HAHAHA

[redhotsummers]

Oh man, that was such a comeback. I feel so hurt, really.

[Alex realizes he probably shouldn't have talked to Roy, anyways.]

Fine, I will.

[Alex pours Roy another glass of water, and heads out.]