i need another story, something to get off my chest.

[suit]

CHARACTERS: Peter Burke and the Empathy Team
LOCATION: Come find him.
WARNINGS: To be determined. Most of Peter's memories aren't all that triggering. There's references to guns at the least.
SUMMARY: Empathy plot stuff.
NOTES: If you would like me to do the starter and I know your canon/can see or access the memories we've agreed to trade easily, I will gladly do that, just message me or private plurk me if you have me added. Definitely still open if you still want a link.

[ starters will be found below. ]

Comments

screeeeeeeeaming

[became]

[ now that the knowledge peter isn't disgusted with him is secure, his own anger rises to meet peter's, feeding off the shared indignation. ]

You're right, they do. You didn't trust me— you didn't even ask me, you just accused. How am I supposed to respond when you keep reminding me I'll never be anything more than a criminal in your eyes? You can't hold me to a double standard like that and expect me to sit quietly for it.

[ he shakes his head, swallowing hard against a rush of bitterness he's almost sure is his own, and not peter's. ]

You keep moving the line, Peter, and I don't know how to keep up anymore. Either I'm your partner or I'm a just another criminal, you need to choose.

all we ever do is screeeeeeeeeeam

[suit]

[ this is a time when the feedback loop is destructive, peter realizes this faintly, but it's almost as if the revelation doesn't matter when faced with neal's anger compounding his own. ]

Can you blame me? Just once, let's pretend you're not a sparkling unicorn who can do absolutely no wrong. Half the time when I give you an inch, and I turn my back, you've taken that inch and gone a mile when I ask you to just keep that inch and I'll give you more as time goes by. But you just want it right then and I'm supposed to not feel like an idiot who believed you were going to keep that inch and wait to get more.

[ there's this hurt feeling, like peter just genuinely feels like neal accusing him of holding him to a double standard is the worst thing the other man could say. ]

You're my partner who happens to be a criminal who's— I like to think, trying to reform himself. Who wants to maybe make it so me doing that doesn't have some basis in reality with how some of your actions can be when I have my back turned.

legit tho with these two lbr

[became]

Either you trust me or you don't. And all I see is mounting evidence Moz is right, I'm fooling myself for believing I have a future with the FBI.

[ he can't tell if peter's hurt started in his own chest or just traveled across the link to settle there regardless, but it feels like that first moment after peter accused him again, before the anger set in— knowing for all their partnership is almost perfect ( even the fbi has to admit it, solve rates don't lie ) peter still looks at him and sees a criminal when neal's own ability to remember peter is... a suit, not to put too fine a point on it, is compromised beyond repair. ]

You have this complicated set of rules I'm just supposed to know. You've never explained them, and whenever I cross one of those lines I don't know are there you punish me for it.

[suit]

That Mozzie is right. I can't even get you to believe me over him and you want me to trust you or not. You didn't— I'm supposed to be the only one you trust and yet Mozzie is the one you belive. You don't want to have a future with the FBI. You want to go home, you don't want to go back to prison, but you really just hope by the end of all of this that I give you every reason to go back to crime.

[ he sounds jealous and he knows it, but there's something about how when keller was here he was special and important to neal. and how mozzie at home is always somehow able to get inside neal's head in ways peter can't. any of the work he does just gets undone by him. he's better than keller but— for all peter wants to believe neal can change, that neal can manage to stay on the path of the law that's good for him, the side of the law that means they can still be a team, he also has to face the facts.

there may come a time when neal crosses back over. he doesn't want to think there's going to be that time, but there's always that possibility that peter wishes wasn't there. ]

You think it's complicated? You think, we're not on cases, being honest with me, completely honest with me is complicated. That is all I want. I want to know that I can trust you not to do something illegal that has nothing to do with any case we're working on. I just want to know that I'm not beating my head against the wall thinking that you actually want to stay in New York and do something better with yourself than being a criminal.

[became]

I want it, Peter— I lied to Moz for you. I've never done that. He left, don't you get that? He left me, because I picked you and all you've done since then is remind me I'm not ever going to be more than a criminal to you.

[ mozzie was never, ever supposed to leave; he's the fixed point, has been since neal was an idiot kid fresh off keller's newly revealed ruthless streak and back to hustling street cons for spending cash. but he left because neal couldn't leave peter, and the rage and panic of that knowledge bubbles up fresh all over again. ]

I grew up not knowing my own name. Honesty is complicated, Peter, I don't know how it can't be.

[suit]

I want to to be more than that. You— are more than that. You're a friend who is a reforming criminal. But it's only when I'm watching. I'm not around, you go to Keller, you go to Mozzie because you need what a replacement for me? And that's the closest you can get even knowing I hate Keller and knowing that I had how sometimes Mozzie can convince you to do things I don't like.

[ peter gets more frantic when he speaks, and he can't tell if that's because of their connection or just because he's that frustrated but either way it doesn't help. he wants to make it stop, make them both calm down, they need to and yet— they're spiraling out off of each other and peter's almost powerless to entirely stop it. ]

By going off my definition of it. It's— I've tried to show you things, Neal. I just— want you to— Honesty is telling me something even if it's going to make me angry and even if it's something I don't want to know because guess what? I want to hear the truth.

[became]

Then ask.

[ the words burst out of him like some kind of monster, angry and uncontrolled and desperate. ]

If you want truth, ask me. We're— you'll be able to tell if I'm lying, so you can know.

[ it's as inarticulate as neal gets, voice strident; it's either an attack or absolution, maybe both, and either way he's powerless to fight the urge. ]

[suit]

[ the only reason peter doesn't back down, doesn't flinch from how neal's words come out uncontrolled like that is because it's neal. peter knows so many things about neal and while maybe he's concerned that something else ( something worse ) is going to follow after that, backing down won't do either of them any good. ]

Will I? Will you actually tell me the truth? I shouldn't have to be able to tell if you're lying.

[ you shouldn't think of lying to me. ]