ataraxionlogs | [open]

Entry tags:

[open]

CHARACTERS: Peggy Carter and YOU
LOCATION: The Oxygen Garden
WARNINGS: None.
SUMMARY: Peggy is exploring the ship and comes across the oxygen garden.
NOTES: Basically an open post for new and old CR. Gimme it~

It wasn't her intention to go to the oxygen garden but somehow, Peggy had ended up in the area and she was fascinated by it. The room reminded her of botanical gardens she had been to when she was a young girl back home, except this was much more technologically advanced. She knew the function of the area by reading a guide but in a way, she still wanted to see it for herself. It made her think about the future; not that she would be around of course but even so. Is that what the people of the future would construct? Peggy could only speculate.

As she walked around the room, her thoughts drifted to Steve and how his arrival seemed to have change things for her. Peggy thought that he was dead and seeing him was such a shock, then a relief. Perhaps it was selfish of her to want to have him here, especially considering how dangerous the ship could be, but a part of her was glad because she got to see Steve again.

Anyone who comes across Peggy now will find her deep in thought.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She knows that there is something more to her than what lay on the surface and perhaps Peggy was trying to empathise with her, get her to open up a little. But she also understood that at times, people didn't like being so open, especially with a stranger. Despite her cool exterior, Peggy was in tune with her emotions and cared about others.

"Where are you from?" She asks eventually, her tone quiet and curious at the same time. It seemed to be a question that most people asked and Peggy hopes that she will respond. Then Peggy could tell her where she was from and perhaps they could have a conversation and get to know each other more.

Where is she from.

The question was met with a long, expressionless stare at first. It didn't change much, but wavered slightly more just before words came out:

"Underground." At least, that was the closest semblance to the truth that Rey had to offer. "Can't be more specific than that."

Because, really, the details were pretty fuzzy.

She was almost tempted to ask what year she came from as well because everyone on board came from different universes and eras in history. Some were even from the future.

Her reply makes Peggy pause for a few moments, not sure if she heard it right. Out of politeness, she speaks up again.

"Well, that is quite specific. I've never met anyone who is from there before." That sounded better in her head.

"I'm from a country called England. I grew up in a city known as London."

She shrugged. "I don't know where it's located, exactly. I remember being stationed in Russia, once. And Nevada. But I'm not from those places."

Rey paused. She'd never really shared much information to people before. Suppose the fact that she used to not have an answer for any of them had a lot to do with it. But it was different now. For someone still fumbling in the dark, there were little bits and pieces left for her to pick up.

It was different.

"London." She stopped to think. "Don't think I've ever been there, but I've heard of it."

"Stationed?" Peggy repeated, one eyebrow rising up. "Are you from a military background?" It was the first thing she thought about when she heard that word; Peggy had already spoken to people who had served in some branch of the military.

She didn't mind telling people about herself or the line of work that she was in. Peggy just couldn't go into full detail because it was classified, despite the fact that none of her superiors were here. She had made a vow to uphold the promise she had made when she joined the agency in the first place.

"It's the capitol city of the country. Although it was bombed not so long ago and it's still recovering from that."

Rey shrugged. "Sort of."

She didn't know what it was, in truth. Her orders were clear and cut, and resembled a military façade on the surface. But the wars she fought were more like slaughters...

"Ah." Her brows knit as she digs for thought. "I remember lots of places were being bombed back then..."

She isn't sure if what she remembers matches up with what Peggy remembers. For all Rey knows, they're not even from the same version of their worlds.

"I'm from one myself." She replied, not elaborating about it at the moment.

If the other woman didn't want to tell her, then she couldn't push her into revealing anything about it. That wasn't in Peggy's nature and it wouldn't change anytime soon. She knew how difficult it could be in a warzone, how traumatizing it was.

"Yes, all over Europe and even further abroad."

It was highly likely that they did come from different worlds, possibly even different eras in time. The only way that they could both find out for certain was to ask one another.

"What's your world like?"

That piqued Rey's curiosity somewhat. "Which branch?"

There was only so much that Rey could tell. Not because she didn't want to, though the notion of sharing too much information with a stranger (even if the stranger had the name -- Peggy) didn't seem prudent, either. She was still piecing together bits of a puzzle, so to speak. The events were there, but the timelines were displaced.

A shattered chain.

"It wasn't really my world." Rey blurted, then paused, then decided to amend herself: "I was an outsider. I was called when something needed to get done, and no one else could do it. Mostly solo missions. I don't get to see people that much. What I do know about the world... It's been killing slowly itself for a very long time. Just people fighting one war after another. Last I heard, they called it the Long Winter."

Rey stopped. Realization.

Funny.

"I've never told anyone this before." Because she couldn't.

"The US military. Despite my accent, I did get involved in working with them. Although my work is top secret."

Proving herself to others had seemed like an impossible feat but Peggy did it without giving up. She had shown time and time again that she was someone who could be depended upon, to follow orders and do her job well. No other woman had ever gotten into this position she was in and perhaps they never would again but Peggy knew that her job was important.

She fell silent when Rey began to speak, listening to her carefully; Peggy couldn't help but react to her words, her eyes widening a little. But she didn't say anything just yet, wanting to get the full story or at least what the other woman was prepared to tell her.

"It's not something that anyone could tell so easily," Peggy replied gently, looking over at her. "Revealing something about yourself or indeed where you come from..well, not everyone likes to do it. I can imagine that it's difficult for you in particular because of your experiences and what your world is like in the first place."

There's a brief pause as she considered something.

"At least that's what I've seemed to gather from what you just told me."

"It usually is." Though Rey's memory of it all blew past like a blurred dream, she did not recall ever even having the opportunity to divulge in any information regarding her past. She also did not express much desire to do so.

Most people she knew would have rather slit her throat while she slept.

The more she thought about it, Rey began to change stance. She was not relaxed, legs crossed, but wound up folding her knees to her chest. Her arms rested over her knees, and her chin over her arms. Her green eyes fell on Peggy and beyond Peggy, listening, but at the same time hearing her own strange words that somehow sounded like it belonged to someone else.

"I believe the only reason it was difficult, for a time, is because it got buried in my head for a reason. When it was dragged out, I got stuck for awhile, unable to communicate. It was like being trapped in a box again."

Again being the key word here. She thought about the casket she woke up in, and the song, and the device that somehow ended up in her locker...

One thing after another...

"Again?" Peggy repeated, her voice a little hushed as she kept her gaze on Rey. She wondered if something she had said triggered the change in the other woman's body language and now Peggy was a bit concerned. It had been some time since she had been in a situation like this and while she was good at offering support, Peggy wasn't sure if Rey would accept it or not. At the same time, she didn't want to cause her any distress.

What else had she gone through in her life and world back home? It seemed to Peggy that Rey had perhaps endured something quite traumatic and it had an impact upon her even now. Peggy could only speculate and she wasn't going to delve too much or ask a lot of questions to be on the safe side.

Silence had fallen between them again and Peggy felt a little awkward, wondering if she should come up with something to say and break it. Perhaps she could encourage Rey to ask her questions and then she wouldn't have to discuss anything about herself. It looked like the easier option but Peggy wasn't entirely sure.

"Did you have any questions for me? I'm open to them."

There. She broke the silence with something. Hopefully it was the right thing to do.

Rey nodded slightly, once. "I don't know why, but it's the first thing I could remember before here. I was locked in a box. After I broke out, I found out that I'd been in a morgue for some time..." She paused. "I think I was there for a reason."

It was just a feeling. Rey didn't really know why she was there. She wasn't dead, though she didn't necessarily feel alive, either. Perhaps she had no way of telling the difference, for certain.

Yes, it was traumatic. That's what others had said. But looking back on it, all she could ever feel was a horrible, blinding anger.

Rey had completely disregarded the silence for normalcy, until Peggy spoke again. Her question evoked confusion, for a particular reason: "I would've thought it'd be the other way around. I have been here longer."

Though she couldn't say she didn't find the sentiment entirely without warrant. Rey just had a way of looking into things differently than most people did. Oftentimes, it was usually the wrong way.

A look of surprise crossed her face when she heard that revelation and it took Peggy a moment to recover, her expression going neutral once more. "I take it you have no idea why you were there?" Rey didn't have to answer but Peggy wanted to understand if she could.

Getting to know people on board had been one of Peggy's main priorities because she realised that she would be here for an indefinite amount of time and making connections was important.

"Well, I meant questions about where I'm from as opposed to about world," Peggy clarified, feeling slightly stupid for even saying it in the first place. She was just worried about saying the wrong thing. Dealing with other people's emotions wasn't always her strong suit and Peggy had adapted to remaining cool and collected during her service as an agent in the SSR. The only time she had broken down was after Steve had crashed the plane to save lives and she lost him.

Now Steve was on board the ship and it had been quite a shock to Peggy at first because she believed him to be dead and gone forever. Prior to his arrival, she was told that people could come here post-death and Peggy had thought that maybe he would come here one day.

Rey wouldn't know what compassion was if she'd seen it. Which made quite a few people here a mystery to her. It was something that Rey wish she had a better understanding of so that, if nothing else, she would know how to react when people responded the way they did to the things she said.

The events that happened to her just happened, which was why the explanation was typically accompanied by a matter-of-fact tone rather than sob cries for attention. Far as Rey was concerned, she'd kept plenty of these buried for so long, that finally hearing the words manifested for someone else to hear... It brought some clarity, in that perhaps she might learn to understand what they meant.

Whatever that meant...

"Negative." Rey finally replied: "I went to look for answers, but then I lost my temper."

Rather, she shot the guy with the answers in the head. Not really the best interrogation tactic, but oh well.

Rey stared for a moment, as Peggy clarified. "Oh. Apologies. I wasn't sure." She blinked. "I don't know. I'm not very good at knowing what questions to ask."

Hence shooting a guy in the head...? Wow, Rey was learning something new about herself already.

"Your anger could be considered a justified reaction because of what happened to you." Peggy was known for having a bit of a temper as well as a jealous streak but those sides of her didn't always come to the surface. It took certain situations to have her react in those ways. Of course, she didn't know the full story behind what happened to Rey (perhaps she never would) but Peggy was curious all the same.

She waved the apology off, giving her a slight smile. "There's no need to apologise. I was the one who should have been clearer in the first place. Admittedly, I'm not always the best at picking the right questions either."

A hand smoothed through her hair as she contemplated on what to continue with. Peggy didn't want the conversation to trail off or just fall flat.

"The offer to ask me about things is still there," she said after another long moment of silence. "Or we could talk about something else entirely."

Peggy just decided to give her the choice in the end.

Rey's arms squeezed over her knees, as she listened, and considered Peggy's words. "I suppose." She didn't know whether she agreed or not. But then, Rey had no control over the things she felt -- or lack thereof, most of the time.

She nodded slightly, still not really the best conversationalist when it came to picking up the dead air. That's what Peggy was good for. And rather than letting that silence linger in reply, she worked with it.

"It doesn't matter to me, one way or the other." Rey then paused, and thought of something. "What year is it supposed to be, where you're from?"

If it were any other situation, that would have been a dumb question. Given the passing of time between here and there (and in Rey's memory), her curiosity had its own justifications.

"The year was 1944 or rather still is if I go back there. Like I mentioned briefly before, I left while I was in the middle of a war. One of the biggest my world has ever known."

It was still fresh in her mind and Peggy felt that she could never shake the memories off, even when she got older. Going through an experience like that and witnessing some truly awful things could have an impact upon a person. It was a small mercy that Peggy wasn't at the frontline like some of the men she knew but it was still difficult.

"I'm not the only person on board who is from that time though. There's another man on board and he's someone that I know from home."

...if I go back...

Peggy wasn't the first person to say this kind of thing, and it confused Rey to some extent. Most people didn't like war. They fought so they could stop the fighting, which had a tendency to result in a hideous cycle of just people fighting people. Somehow, Rey had a feeling that she had been seeing this cycle for quite some time.

No memory.

Just a feeling.

Like the rifle...

"Do you want to go back?" There. A question of some sort. Because she can't help but wonder...

Rey didn't know what she would do if any of the people that she knew from her time showed up here. Not many of them were good people. Then again, Rey wasn't good people, either. She did reprehensible things and very often felt little to no regret over having done them. Suppose it went beyond just socially unacceptable, but morally ambiguous as well.

She didn't care to deal with the likes of those people from her world, anyway, or the way they looked at her...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[open]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

apologies for the delay, i was at a convention~

no worries. i went on an impulse hiatus, anyway, and will probably be slow myself